The Waiting Room

Being in a funk must be contagious. Russian Violets and Sheepish have shared their journeys into funk-dom. Now yours truly has landed in the land of sadness and gloom. I am feeling a little lost right now. I have some decisions to make and I am not sure how to handle them. I will explain later, as I am going to take a nap and try to regroup.

This Employment Law class is driving me crazy! I have been listening to AC/DC’s Back in Black all night just to get through the madness! I think the authors of the textbook were smoking crack when they wrote this book. For example, in a chapter on affirmative action, they mention the Weber case. No where in the chapter do they give the full citation of the Weber case or a brief explanation of what the case is about and how it relates to affirmative action! Although I am familiar with the case, my students don’t know Weber from Webster!

I am going take AC/DC's advice and have a drink on them.

I should not have indulged at a farewell luncheon for a staff person at work today. But there was so much good food; chicken parm, pasta with broccoli, roasted potatoes, Italian ribs, bread and deserts. Delish!!!

After my last class, I worked out with GML. All that food just sat like a huge limp in my stomach as I did my usual treadmill routine. During the entire workout, I just felt like reversing gears. (My stomach, not the treadmill!) But I did make it through, which is a good thing.

Tonight, I will have a VERY light dinner.

I spent yesterday comparing the editions of my Employment Law texts to see how I can teach this course using both editions. No one has answered my question as to which book to use. So, I am just going to revamp my course tracking calendar and list assignments for both books.

It just chaps my ass that I have to go through all this hassle. Not a good way to start the week.

Thanks B* for the Heart link.

The Boy is truly too smart for his own good. Last night while I was working on the filing in the office, Husband left to do the grocery shopping. It was about 6 PM and it was past the Boy’s dinnertime. So, I went downstairs to get him his dinner.

The Boy usually does this circling-happy dance at dinnertime. He runs down to the basement where this food is kept and watches with intensity as the food is scooped into the bowl, kind of like an inspector. He scurries up the stairs and waits at the spot where is food bowl is placed. He knows to wait until the dish is placed down and he is released to eat. Then, he gobbles his food like it’s his last meal on Earth.

But as I went through the process of feeding him, something was different. He did not have that spring in his step that he normally has. He was quire happy, but he had this look on his face like he had a secret. He did not gobble his food. Instead, he ate very slowly; occasionally look up at me, as I was puttering around in the kitchen.

When husband returned, I told him about the Boy’s dinning experience. He said that he fed him at 5:30! So the Boy conned his way into two dinners! For the rest of the night, the Boy slept in his dogbed, fat and happy, knowing he had conned his Mom!

I got my lazy ass away from the computer and accomplished the following:

1. Cleaned the living room, dinning room, kitchen and half bath.
2. Worked out for 40 minutes on the treadmill.
3. Closed out personal and law practice files for 2005
4. Organized tax documents
5. Began shredding old files until shredder died
6. Cleaned out office so husband can paint the ceiling and the trim (see previous post)
7. Worked on new workout playlist.

Whew! I think I earned a hot bath and a glass of wine!!!!

Thanks to B* for cloud link!

Today is one of those days where I know I should do work. But I don't feel like it. I am still in my PJs, drinking coffee and reading blogs. I need to work on my research assignments that I plan to give to my students.

Husband wants to finish painting the office. This was a project that we started last summer, but never finished. All that needs to be done is to paint the ceiling and the trim. But that means I will be sans computer, which is maybe a good thing.

I could go shopping; Next week is the sales tax holiday in my state. This means that there is no state or local sales tax on clothing or shoes up to $110.00. The sales tax in Lake Effect Snow Central is 8.75% on EVERYTHING! God, I miss Home state where there was NO sales tax on clothing or shoes, period. I could use today as sort of a pre-shopping event. But can I resist the temptation not to buy anything??????

I am teaching a new course, Employment Law. I should be excited, but I am not. This course has been nothing but trouble since Day 1.

1. The college issues a course syllabus which outlines the course outcomes. I am required to tailor my syllabus to the colleges. Well, the college did not provide any course outcomes for my course, so I guess the students are not supposed to learn anything.

2. The HMFIC for the Business Department chose the textbook for this course. I don’t think he actually READ the book. I honestly believe that he saw the title “Employment Law for Business” and jumped for joy. The book is supposed to be for Business majors, but it is more appropriate for Pre-Law.

3. The book assumes that the students have prior knowledge of legal principles. The students taking this course are not pre-law and there is no requirement that they have law course before taking the class. So, I spend a significant amount of time explaining legal concepts and how to read a court opinion. My students are very confused, frustrated and angry.

4. The chapter jump from topic to topic without any sense of organization or coherence.

5. The textbook does not cover important areas of Employment Law such as Worker’s Comp, Unemployment and ERISA. Umm, I think those areas are important, but what do I know. I just have a law degree.

6. At the end of last semester, the 4th edition of the text was listed for the course. Any student who registered for the course last semester ordered and received the 4th edition. On the first day of class, I had students with different editions of the same book. Later, I learned that the 5th edition was released in January. So, any student who registered in January ordered and received the 5th edition. Don’t you think it would have been nice to inform me and the students with the 4th edition that there was a change in the book?

7. Usually, there is not a huge difference between editions of a textbook, but the 5th edition has eliminated chapters that were in the 4th edition. Plus, the cases in the 5th edition are totally different than the 4th. So, I can’t even use both editions if I wanted. To date, no one knows WHICH edition I am supposed to use.

8. I am trying to put together a research project, I have no fucking clue what to assign.

I know that there will be glitches with a new course, but WTF were the HMFICs thinking?

Is this normal or is my college just AFU?

Sweet merciful crap, this took way too long!

Layer One

Name: Seeking Solace
Birthdate: 1/11/1968
Birthplace: Pittsburgh, PA
Current location: Lake Effect Snow Central, USA
Eye color: Hazel
Righty or lefty: Lefty
Sign: Capricorn
Innie or outie: Innie

Layer Two

Heritage: I am biracial. My mom is Polish and Croatian. My father is Black with some Irish
Shoes you wore today: My new Ugs
Your hair: Shoulder length, former naturally curly hair now straight, Brown with blonde highlights
Your weakness: Good wine
Your fears: Snakes
Your perfect pizza: New York style.

Layer Three

Your most overused phrase: What the fuck, didn’t I just answer that?
Your first waking thoughts: I no function well coffee without.
The first features you notice in opposite sex (or same sex, whatever...): Eyes
Your best physical feature: Hair
Your bedtime: Whenever I am sleepy
Your greatest accomplishment: Passing the bar exam

Layer Four

Pepsi or Coke: Regular Coke or Diet Coke with Lime
Single or group dates: Married
Adidas or Nike: Neither. I wear Succony
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Coffee or cappuccino: Both

Layer Five

Smoke: Never
Cuss: Worse than a guy
Sing: Yes
Take a shower everyday: Yes
Have a crush: Yes, on my husband
Been in love: Currently in love
Want to get married: Married 14 years
Believe in yourself: Of course, who else would?
Type with the right fingers on the right keys: If that means do I know how to type, then yes.
Think you're attractive: I clean up well
Think you're a health freak: Somewhat
Get along with your parents: My father died 20 years ago. On and off relationship with my mom
Play an instrument: piano, flute

Layer Six

In the past month did you...?
Drink alcohol: Yup
Smoke: Never
Do a drug: Prescription
Make out: Yup
Go on a date: Husband and I have “date nights"
Eat an entire box of Oreos: no
Eat sushi: EWWW
Been on stage: No
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: No
Gone skinny dipping: No
Made homemade cookies: No
Fallen in love: Already in love
Stolen anything: No
Dyed your hair: No

Layer Seven:

Have you ever...?
Played a game that required you to remove an item of clothing: No
Been trashed: Yes
Been intoxicated: Is that a PC way of saying trashed?
Been caught doing something: No
Been called a tease: No
Shoplifted: No

Layer Eight

Age you hope to be married: I got married when I was 24.
Number and names of kids: None, unless you count the Boy (which I do!)
Describe your dream wedding: If I had to do it again, a small private ceremony followed by a barbeque.
How do you want to die: Quick and pain free
What would you like to be when you grow up: I don't want to grow up!
What countries would you most like to visit: I have been to all the countries I want to see.

Layer Nine

Number of wo/men kissed: I don’t know, I didn’t keep a record
Number of girl/boyfriends had: 2
Number of drugs taken: Four perscription
Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
Number of piercings: 2 (one in each ear)
Number of CDs: 300+
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of scars: Too many
Number of regrets: I've had a few

Bright Star tagged me. Here goes…

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1) doris
2) zerodoll
3) Overread
4) BrightStar
5) Seeking Solace

Next select five people to tag (Sorry!):
1) Statgirl
2) pi
3) Pink Cupcake
4) Kiss My Mike
5) Bithering Moron

What were you doing 10 years ago?
January 1996, I was in my last semester of law school! I was also clerking for an attorney who was working on a case involving a woman who was forced by her husband to kill another man with an ice pick.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Teaching a sociology class from Hell. I mean, those students were true demons!

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Pretzels
2. Strawberries
3. Toasted bagel with Nutella
4. Microware popcorn
5. Chocolate

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Any Sarah McLachlin song
2. Any Sheryl Crow song
3. Born to Run, by Bruce Springsteen
4. Back in Black by AC/DC
5. All Jacked Up, by Gretchen Wilson

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Quit my job. Send notice by postcard from a tropical island
2. Build my dream cabin in the woods
3. Pay off my student loan debt
4. Own horses
5. Travel the world, first class all the way!

Five bad habits:
1. Chewing my cuticles
2. Overanalyzing
3. Swearing
4. Never satified with the finished product
5. Terrible speller

Five things you like doing:
1. Shopping
2. Sleeping
3. Wine tasting
4. Agility with the Boy
5. Going to the beach

Five things you would never wear again:
1. Acid washed jeans
2. Any jeans that have a tapered leg (The Mom Jean)
3. Ill-fitting clothing
4. Stirup pants
5. Shoulder pads

Five favorite toys:
1. The Boy (Dogs rule!)
2. My electric piano
3. My cell phone
4. Husband’s acoustic guitar
5. Power tools

Bright Star asked for my AI dish. So here is a double shot.

Despite fading in and out of consciousness, I did catch some of AI last night. Here’s what I remember…

Stink: The girl wearing the lingerie outfit. I do give her credit for going out in public like that.

Stank: The Michael Jackson impersonator. He does get points for the socks.

Stunk: The chick with the white outfit and ghetto attitude. Did she think she was Lil’ Kim’s evil twin? And why was she trashing on Paula?? Paula hardly said boo to her.

As for tonight, maybe it was just me, but there wasn’t anyone who really stood out. There were some good singers, like the girl whose mother was her vocal coach. Simon did appear to have an acute case of assholeus maximus, but that is normal behavior for him.

OK, your turn…

I am feeling a little more human today. It was definitely the bug that Husband had over the weekend. Thanks for all the get well wishes!!! Husband appreciated his get well wishes too!!!

I missed two days of work, which means I am two days behind. I need to put together something in the form of an essay assignment for my Employment Law class. Plus, I have not drafted my final projects yet for that course and Survey of Law. I planned to hand out the projects next week so that the students can get started. I have no idea what to do for the Employment Law class. It’s a new course, so I can be a little creative. But right now, I don’t FEEL very creative. Plus, there are numerous problems with this course which I will explain later.

Sore throat,
Pressure in back of head,
Headache,
Nasal Drip,
Temperature is 100 degrees, and
Lethargic.

Rest

My motivation level is about -10 today. I should be pumped up, especially after yesterday’s excitement.

I could not get out of bed this mooring. It was a case of mind over mattress. Thankfully, the mind won. But a few hours and four travel mugs of high octane, super dark roast black coffee later, I was still dragging my feet.

I thought working out would help, so I forced myself to work out with GML and the Accounting Lady. 30 minutes on the elliptical. Still nothing.

I just go home and all I want to do is sleep on the couch. I wonder if I am coming down with what Husband has?????

Sorry for the lame blogpost. Maybe I will get my second wind later tonight.

THE BOYS IN BLACK AND GOLD ARE GOING TO THE SUPPER BOWL!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!!

As seen at B*'s site.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

I need to wash my hair.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$23.00

3. What's a word that rhymes with TEST?
Rest. I need some.

4. planet?
Dammit!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list?
A blocked phone number.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
Going Mobile, by the Who. I just added it as Husband's ring when he calls me from work or from his cell.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Black and Gold Sweatshirt with favoritefootballl teams logo.

8. What do you label yourself?
Spunky, opinionated, giving, moody

9. Name the brand of shoes you've recently worn.
My Clarks clogs

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright. The sun is shining right now.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping with Husband and the Boy. Yes, all three fit in the same bed.

12. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
??????

13. Where is your nearest 7-11?
We don't have 7-11 in Lake Effect Snow Central, but itequivalentnt is two blocks from my house.

14. What's a saying that you say a lot?
What the Fuck or WTF

15.Who told you they loved you last?
Husband

16. Last furry thing you touched?
The Boy

17. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?
Antihistamine for the sinuses, meds for the RA and a glass of wine.

18. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
One from last summer's vacation.

19. Favorite age you have been so far?
I am loving my 30s

20. your worst enemy?
At the present moment, the team playing favorfootballball team in the playoffs today.
Currently, local county government raisingsing the sales tax, AGAIN!

21. What is your current desktop picture?
Hoover the Mischievous Mutt. There is also a screen saver that is too funny.

22. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Yes, there is coffee.. Said to husband who just woke up.

23. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?
The million. I could pay some to fly for me.

24. Do you like someone?
I like most people

25. The last song you listened to?
On Your Side, by Sheryl Crow (From Wildflower)

No much going on here. It’s dark and rainy. Usually we have at least a foot of snow on the ground in Lake Effect Snow Central.

Husband is sick. At least is not like some men who can’t take care of themselves when they are sick.

I have to finish organizing 2005 files so I can begin the rigorous task of doing the taxes. Thank God for Turbo Tax!

My credit card bill for last month almost gave me a heart attack. That’s what I get for buying all my Christmas gifts on line. At least I get paid this week.

It’s quiet, even in blogland, except for the banter between Claire and Professor Bastard. What’s up with you two? Do you two need to go to separate corners?

Thinking about B* and her issues with STBEX. Hope all is well.

GML is at the Spa for a full day of pampering. It’s her birthday. Cheers to you!

GML stopped by the library the other day to pick up resource materials for one of her classes. The Librarian said that they were in the library computer lab, so the two of them headed for the library lab. In the past, the library lab was open to all students, but this semester, it is closed and only used for the Library Research class.

GML and the Librarian walked into the lab and found a student sitting with her feet propped on the desk. She was talking on her cell phone with a friend.

Librarian: Excuse me, but how did you get in here? The door is supposed to be locked.

Student: So?

Librarian: Well, you are not allowed to be in this room. You have to leave.

Student: I pay $5,000.00 a semester in tuition; I should be able to do whatever the hell I want! (Student storms out of the room)

Umm, since when does tuition entitle students to have free pass to do “whatever the hell they want?” Many of the students at my college feel the same way and have expressed this opinion to me. They believe that since they pay tuition, and a great amount of tuition at my school, the faculty and administration should kiss their ass. I agree that when you pay for a service, you should receive reasonable and decent service. But where does it say that you are entitled to be treated like a king or queen?

You Are Sheryl Crow!

Down to earth with tons of creative energy When you talk, everyone can relate to you "Life springs eternal On a gaudy neon street Not that I care at all"

Husband says that this is dead on right! Cool!

The semester is going well so far. My classes are small. The most I have is 18 in my Critical Thinking course. The Survey of Law course started with 13, but I am down to 8. I think I scared some of them. I am also teaching a new course, Employment Law, which has 13 students. The students appear very nice and engaging. They enjoyed discussing the subjects that I bring to class. No disrespect or discipline problems yet. So, I should be jumping for joy, righ?. But, I am very guarded. I am just afraid that the other shoe is going to drop at any moment and I will end up with a class of psychos. Time will tell, I guess.

The student who plagiarized in my Critical Thinking course last semester is in my class again. Usually, it does not bother me to see a student who failed my class take my class again, even when they have the choice of another instructor. But seeing this girl again really bugs me. I don’t know how to react to her being in my class again. One reason is because of how much time and effort I put in to helping her with her research paper, only for her to change her topic at the last minute and commit plagiarism. The other reason is that she has been going around campus complaining that she still does not understand why she failed the course and that I am being unfair. I had a meeting with her and the Dean about the situation and explained to her why she failed. Since she received an F for the paper, and she was carrying a low C on her other assignments, that’s how the math worked out. (We do not give D’s at my college). Part of me wants to say something to her, but there is a part of me that thinks that no matter what I say, she will still be unhappy.

On a personal note, the workout regiment is going very well. GML, the Accounting Lady and I work out together twice a week. That really keeps me motivated. I also work out at home. I have a really awesome treadmill. I have put together a playlist that I use for the treadmill and the elliptical. It’s about 45 minutes long. So, following Dr. Crazy, here it is:

1. Dirty Laundry, Lisa Marie Presley
2. Delicious Surprise, Beth Hart
3. Adam’s Rib, Melanie Doane
4. Bring Me Some Water, Melissa Etherige
5. Would I Lie to You? Eurhythmics
6. Edge of Seventeen, Stevie Nicks
7. Stupid Girl, Garbage
8. Our Lips Are Sealed, Go-Gos
9. Light in Your Eyes, Sheryl Crow
10. Constant Craving, k.d. lang
11. Nick of Time, Bonnie Raitt

I also posted it on the sidebar under the heading “What’s Playing in My Head. Enjoy!

Day two of AI auditions and the insanity continues…

1. Dude wearing the plaid PJs. He should stick to cleaning houses!
2. The girl who sang Here For the Party should have never left the party!
3. The cowboy was not too bad, but he could use some voice lessons. And someone else to sing to other than farm animals!
4. I did think the coaster was kind of cool.
5. The last guy…I am just speechless. Interesting that the producers decided to play the Crying Game in the background.

OK…speak!

American Idol returned tonight. I confess that I love watching the auditions. I get a kick out of people making total assess of themselves for the whole world to see. Granted, there are some who are just there to get on TV. Husband says that AI brings out the freak in people. But it amazes me how completely delusional people can be.

Thoughts about tonight’s show:

1. Why in the HELL did Randy and Paula allow that psycho Dave guy through to the next round? Someone needs to check the dosage of his meds.

2. The Ukrainian chick will probably make it in the sequel to Basic Instinct or porn films.

3. Seeing Sun-Tan Girl Crystal with her mother just proves that the apple does not fall far from the tree. She was a few notes short of a song.

4. When Husband heard the one kid sing the Weight, he went to the bathroom. I think he had to throw up.

5. What’s up with Simon and the fat comments?

6. I can’t listen to Blue Moon or Lady Marmalade ever again. Bad images enter my mind!

Any comments AI fans?

B* asked me to blog about the Boy, so I thought I would tell the story of how Husband and I adopted the Boy.

A month prior to adopting the Boy, our previous dog,
a Catahoula Leopard Dog (click to see what one looks like) died after a noble battle with cancer. We missed having a four legged friend in our lives, and felt the time was right to bring a new friend home.

A local rescue group was holding an adoption day at PETCO. Three were several dogs there, and although all were absolutely adorable, there did not seem to be a connection. Husband saw the Boy first. In a crate, away from the other dogs and barking like crazy, was a young male German Shepard-Lab mix. Husband said “hey, how about this one? He seems like a nice pup.” I came over and looked at his sweet face and big brown eyes and just melted. I read his bio. He was a year old and had been surrendered by his previous owner because his owner felt the dog was no longer cute. It was the classic case of people adopting a puppy because it is cute. But when puppies grow up into dogs, the cute poppy like behavior is no longer cute. So instead of training the dog, these people decided to just give him away.

The rescue coordinator allowed us to take him out on his leash to see if he would respond to us. Well, the Boy would not stop barking at the other dogs. He was more interested in barking than us. The coordinator said that he was the runt of the litter. He was soon adopted by a family that had five small children under the age of six. Sadly, the children were very mean to him. The coordinator went on to say that he was not properly socialized or trained. On the other hand, he is a sweetheart when he is calm. He loves to snuggle and give kisses. She said that he would be ideal for a single person or a couple without children. She said that he needs someone to give him the attention he deserves.

It took almost an hour for the Boy to settle down and interact with us. I could not stop thinking about what the coordinator had said. How could someone treat such a sweet pup like this? I was convinced that I wanted this dog. I knew that if I worked with him, he would become a great dog. Husband was not so sure. He asked me if I wanted to wait a few days to think about it. He thought that the Boy was a nice dog, but he was a little nuts. I told Husband that there was nothing to think about. I wanted to take the Boy home.

So, we adopted the Boy that same day. He seemed happy that he was going home with what he perceived to be nice people. When we brought him home, he came in the house, walked over to the stereo speaker and peed on it! I guess that was his way of saying that he was home.

I immediately enrolled the Boy in basic obedience. I am a firm believer that the best thing that one can do for their dog is proper obedience training. I was amazed on how well the Boy did in obedience training. He definitely has the German Shepard intelligence. He was the top dog in his class. I decided to enroll him in the advance class and he did well there too. Since then, we have been taking dog agility courses. I am hoping that we can begin competing soon.

The Boy has given us so much joy. He is all Lab in the sense that he is sweet and playful. I call him the lovable mush. He is wonderful with children, despite his prior history. I think the training helped. He had the German Shepard intelligence and loyalty. Sometimes he is too smart for his own good! He loves to rough-house with his daddy. And he loves to snuggle with his mommy!

So that’s how the Boy came into my family. I can’t image life without him!

A meme as seen at Claire's site and B*'s site.

Hair: Down and unruly, as usual.

Wearing: Black sweats and gold long sleeve T-shirt in honor of favorite football team who is playing today

Drinking: Diet Lipton Green Iced Tea with Citrus

Listening: The Food Network and Husband playing Stairway to Heaven on his acoustic guitar

Reading: Fitness and Dog Fancy Magazines

Random Saturday thoughts

1. What is it about someone rubbing your face, hair or feet that gives you the feeling of total bliss?

2. Why does the same pizza delivery guy who has delivered to your house at least once a week for the past six months still has trouble FINDING your house?

3. Why do some medical labs require you to make an appointment for blood work?

4. Yesterday, it was 60 degrees and sunny and today it is 25 degrees and snowing like crazy. WHY?

5. Why does the Boy wake ME up at 2:30 AM instead of Husband because he has to go out and instead of doing his business he just stands in the middle of the yard, looking around?

6. Why does going out to breakfast on a Saturday mooring make you sleepy?

7. Why is doing laundry a never ending chore?

Would someone please explain?

The first week is over! What notable things occurred this week…..?

1. Student 1 is taking my Survey of Law class for the THIRD TIME. Maybe he is trying for a hat trick. He does not complete the required work and has the never to ask me why he failed.


2. GML is a tattoo magnet. Last semester, a student pulled down her blouse to show off her new tattoo and most of her boob. This time, a male student was jazzed to show her the name of his child on his jaw line. Disturbing….just disturbing. Don’t worry GML, your going to the spa in a week!


3. The student in my Critical Thinking course who committed plagiarism demanded a meeting with me and the Dean of Instruction. She brought her friend who allegedly “helped” her with citation. She was crying because she failed the course and begged the DI and me to reconsider. Ten minutes after the meeting, I saw her laughing it up with her friends. I guess she was not THAT upset.


4. This same girl is taking my Critical Thinking class again.


5. We still have to take attendance in our classes. GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!


6. Lady Hunter is pissed because she has all four sociology classes, now that I don’t teach the course anymore. She is also stuck with the students that failed my course last semester.


7. I am teaching a new course. The college forgot one important aspect in setting up the course. They neglected to list the course outcomes. So, I had to create my own.

I am off to the spa today. Husband set it up for my birthday. I think I deserve it!

Go Seeking Solace, it’s your birthday!
Go Seeking Solace, it’s your birthday!
Go Seeking Solace, it’s your birthday!
Go Seeking Solace, it’s your birthday!

Today is my 38th birthday! And I STILL look like I am in my late 20’s!

And just to make sure you leave a comment, Happy Delurking Week!!!

Some things are like riding a bicycle. You never forget how to do it. When I started teaching again, it was like I never left. Somehow, I was able to channel my legal experience into my classroom style. I was able to take boring subjects like contract law or commercial law, and believe me they are really boring, and turn them into something the students actually enjoyed learning My students enjoyed the class. And I was enjoying the experience. I was respected among the students and the faculty.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like my spirit resurfaced. For a long time, I felt defeated. I was just going through the motions of life. What teaching gave me was a chance to take something that I truly love, the law, and present it to inquiring minds. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I had a purpose.

At the same time, I was still juggling my practice. It was a difficult balance. (I don’t recommend working full time and teaching part time). There was no way that I could continue with this dance. Plus, my health was still a mess. Everyone, my husband, my doctors, everyone was telling me that I could not keep going on like this. I had to make a decision.

This was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Some of my colleagues thought I was crazy to walk away. How could I give up something I had worked so hard to achieve? Why could I just find something else to do in the law? The voices in my head did not help either. I had to face the reality that. I was not happy practice law. I was very good at it, but not happy with it. I was not happy with the person I saw in the mirror. There was nothing left to prove. I had achieved my life long goal. Now it was time for me.

In January 2005, I began to task of cling my practice. By December 2005, the practice was officially closed.

Any regrets?

In May, it will be 10 years since I graduated law school and all this began. What I learned is that you have to nurture your soul. I was not living my life; I was just drifting in some second rate existence. It took my almost losing everything I had, and endangering my health to learn that lesson. I am not seeking solace (pun intended).

Would I go through it again?

I don’t think I would be where I am today if I had not. I have grown so much since that time. I am not the same girl I was then. In some ways, I am stronger, more outspoken about my needs and more resilient. I think it is the trying experiences that bring out the best in us.

Would I discourage anyone from going to law school or becoming a lawyer?

I am glad I went to law school and became a lawyer. It is one of my greatest accomplishments. I would never tell someone not to go. If your heart tells you to go, you should follow it. Plus, there is a need for good attorneys, especially women. Not everyone is cut out to be the traditional attorney. There are so many opportunities out there.

Will you give up your license?

I still maintain my license and I am still practice, sort of. I am a member of the Law Guardian panel for the Family Court. These are court appointed attorneys who represent the child’s interest in family court matters. It’s nice because I can accept or deny an appointment if I want. The state pays my salary and I am still in the legal loop.

Now you know the rest of the story.


PS: Thanks for all of your comments. This is the first time that I have documented this story. I am so glad it received such a warm reception.

Obviously, I quit working at Big Law Firm. There was no way I was going back to that environment. I took the next six months off. I went to therapy, slept, played with my dog, and tried to get my life back. And plot my next move.

I was not ready to just give up. I am one of those insanely driven people. I always feel like I have to prove to the world that it wasn’t a mistake that I made it this far. It was clear that I had bad luck with working for people. So, I thought, why not work for myself. I could control what cases I would take. I could set my own hours. And the only person I would have to answer to was me.

With $3,000.00 of my own money. I hung up my own shingle. I started working out of my house with only a computer, fax and a phone. Business took off like a rocket. I was a general practitioner, focusing on female clients. I learned early on the many women feel more comfortable talking to female attorney. Of course I accepted male clients, but many of my clients seemed to be women. Within six months, I was able to move out of the house and into a small office space that had office support. It was a good thing too, because it is hard to separate working from home with having a private life at home. I broke even the first year.

I ran my own practice for three years. There were good days. Like the father I represented who was desperately trying to obtain custody of his children because mom wanted to spend time with her crack head boyfriend. She left the kids home with him one day and he in turn, left the kids home alone to buy crack. In my state, it is very difficult for a father to gain full custody. I was able to win at trial. He and his new wife sent me a Christmas card thanking me for making his family complete. Those were the cases that made practicing law worthwhile.

It was not all glamorous. I was the secretary, bookkeeper, accountant, file manager, and attorney. Although doing this helped keep costs low, it was very taxing. Then there were some memorable clients. There was the guy who threatened to kill me because he did not receive his Worker’s Compensation settlement. My husband had a little “conversation” with him. There was the ex-husband of a client of mine who left harassing voice mails. Husband and Process Server (a personal friend who resembles Tony Soprano) paid him a visit. And of course the numerous clients who complained, whined, and groaned because their case was taking too long. Not because of any malfeasance on my part, but because either the system or some unforeseen circumstance caused the delay.

During this time, I was grouchy, tired, and worn out. The RA was not stabling, so I was sick most of the time. I was often depressed and not feeling very human. My doctors were constantly on my case about the effects of all the stress on my health. Plus, all the stress was taking a toll on my marriage. Husband was constantly worried that I would have another breakdown. We argued constantly about how all of the stress was affecting me and our marriage. He wanted his wife back. But I was not willing to admit that things were so bad. Plus, I did not want to give up something that I had worked so hard to attain. What the hell was I going to do if I was not a lawyer?

But deep down, I know that I was not in love with the law anymore. At least not in the traditional sense. While I loved the concepts, I did not enjoy the practice anymore. It was a constant battle of how would I survive another day.

About two years ago, I was having lunch with a friend from law school. She had mentioned that her husband, who graduated a year prior to us, was asked to teach a Survey of Law class at a local college. He could not do it because of his work schedule. I was intrigued. It was like someone shied a light for me. I told her that I have a teaching degree and maybe this would be a nice distraction for me. She gave me the information and I sent out my resume that same day. The next morning I got a call for an interview. I was hired on the spot.

What happened was amazing. I feel in love with teaching again.

OK, tomorrow I will wrap this up.

Claire tagged me. So I guess I better keep the chain going. Don’t worry; I am working on the final installment of my law story. I will post that either tomorrow or Monday

The Five Weird Things About Me:

1. I am allergic to mushrooms. My face swells like a balloon!


2. I like country music. Not the twangy “my woman’s gone, my dog is dead and I lost my job” stuff, but I do like the new stuff. The new stuff has more of a rock base to it. Besides it is better than the crap that is playing on the radio.


3. I an snake-phobic. I can't even look at one on TV or in a book!


4. I hold conversations with the Boy.


5. I like to eat dry cereal. No milk!

Tag, you’re it. (Don’t be offended if you were not chosen. Your time will come!)

Astroprof
Sheepish
pi
Statgirl
Russian Violets

Here comes the sun.
Here comes the sun.
And I say, it’s all right.

Here Comes the Sun, by the Beatles
Written by George Harrison.
From the Album, Abby Road Capitol Records, 1969.

The sun made an appearance in Lake Effect Snow Central today. The sun has been MIA for 17 days!!! Only problem is that it is 26 degrees outside and the wind chill is 9 degrees!!!

But it's all right!

It did not take long for me to find another job. I landed a position at Big Law Firm. Unlike most large law firms, this one was dedicated to representing the little guy. The majority of the clients were the middle class and unions. I had found my place in the legal world.

I was assigned to the litigation and compensation department, specifically compensation. For the most part, I liked my job. I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do. I enjoyed helping the little guy. I was viewed as a bit of a maverick; I did not follow some of the traditional large law firm traps, like working on Saturdays, just to be seen and kissing up to the big wigs. I basically just did my job and flew below radar.

The Senior Partner in my departments was a know it all and believed that he was always right. No matter the issue, his way was the right way, Even if you knew you were right and could prove it, you were wrong. Of course, I was used to this, having worked for a know it all at my last job. You just smile and cater to that person’s ego. Then you do the right thing.

But Senior Partner was also a rageoholic. The entire staff walked on eggshells whenever he was in the office. He would go off on the slightest little issue or non issue. Every other word that came out of his mouth was “fuck”. All of us, attorneys and staff, were subject to his daily dress downs, insults and rants. We were told we were stupid, incompetent and worthless. And that was a good day.

For me, it was quite difficult. I had grown up in a household with a parent that was just like Rageoholic Senior Partner. I spend time in therapy trying to deprogram all the tapes that played in my head as a child and get to a place where I felt good about myself. I tried to distance myself from his personal attacks and fall back on all the techniques I had learned. But as time went on, I began to feel like that abused child again. It was wearing on me both physically and emotionally.

One day, Rageoholic Senior Partner summoned me to his office. He began to yell at me about a case I had handled. The case involved a man who was a member of one of the unions that the firm had on retainer. I represented a man at a hearing. Prior to the hearing, he told me that he would cause physical harm to his employer and their attorney if things did not go his way. I took that threat seriously and asked the court deputy for extra security for the hearing. Witchy Associate overheard my conversation. She tattled to Rageoholic Senior Partner. Rageoholic Senior Partner told me that I had no business asking for extra security and that this guy could sue us for defamation. When I tried to explain that I was only looking out for my safety and that of the other people in the hearing, he said that THAT DID NOT MATTER!! MY SAFETY WAS NOT IMPORTANT!! He proceeded to scream at me for another 10 minutes.

When he finished, I began to walk back to my office. I was in a fog. For some reason, the walk to my office took longer than usual. It seemed like I was in a tunnel. My heart was racing, I could not breathe. When I got to my office, I could feel the walls closing in on me. I felt this feeling of impending doom. I wanted to jump out my office window, not to kill myself, but to escape.

Somehow, I was able to call Husband. He showed up at my office and found me curled up in a ball in the corner. He picked me up and carried me to the car. According to him, I was catatonic. He rushed me to the hospital. I had suffered a major panic attack and an emotional breakdown.

I had hit rock bottom. What was I going to do now?

This story keeps getting interesting….

Pi, Kiss My Mike and others have asked me to write about why I gave up being a lawyer. I have given the abbreviated version in some posts, but here’s the full story.

It has been 10 years since I graduated from law school. For as long as I can remember, I loved the law. I always wanted to go to law school and become a lawyer. I wanted to help people who could not help themselves. I started as a pre-law major in college. Some family members discouraged me from entering the profession. I was told that it would be ‘too hard” and I would not be successful. I bought into the garbage that my family spooned me. So I switched my major to education.

After college, I married Husband and earned a Master’s in my content area, With the help of Husband and a good therapist, I decided that it was time for me to do what is right for me and no one else. I was happier and emotionally health so why not. I applied to law school and was accepted. It was tough, but I loved the intellectual challenge. I enjoyed my courses and my professors. Thankfully, I did not have any professors like Professor Kingsfeld from the Paper Chase! I took all the traditional bar exam courses, plus a few criminal law courses. I also clerked for a solo practitioner who handled criminal matters for indigent persons.

One of the things that law school did not prepare me for was the bar exam. The bar exam was the hardest thing I ever had to encounter. I had to take it a few times. This was extremely frustrating, because I had always been successful academically. But for some reason, I could not pass this stupid test. Part of the problem was that I am such a perfectionist. I had to learn that for this one time in my life, it was perfectly acceptable to earn a “D”. Once I grasped that, I passed and was admitted to practice.

It did not take very long for me to find a job. In my zeal to find employment and to start paying off the student loan debt, I took the first offer. My first job was with a small law firm that handled personal injury claims on behalf of insurance companies. It was not criminal practice and it certainly was not helping those that needed help. But unlike most people who start out as lawyers, I was not relegated to doing research. Since the firm was small, the partners wanted the associates to get their feet wet as soon as possible. Three months into my first job, I was handling depositions and motions on my own. So even though I was not doing what I really wanted, I was gaining valuable experience.

The job was like any other lawyer job; long hours and crappy pay. But I was doing what I wanted and I enjoyed doing it. Then one day, as I was getting ready for work, I got a phone call from Angry Partner. He said that my services were no longer needed and he hung up the phone. I was shocked. I did not think I had done anything that would result in my being fired. About five minutes latter, Know It All Partner called and explained that he, Socialite Partner and Angry Partner had a falling out and Angry Partner quit. He and Socialite Partner could not keep all the associates, so one of us had to go. Since I was the last one in, I would be the first to go.

I was out of a job. But that did not last long.

Stay tuned for Part Two!

Is it me or is there a great amount of “blah” going on out there in blogland? Now that the high of the holidays are over, it seems like everyone has crashed. January is a blah month. With the exception of my birthday, January 11th, it is pretty dark and dreary. My neck of the wood, Lake Effect Snow Central, has gone 15 days without a sunny day. I guess if there is 3% sunshine that qualifies as a sunny day. No wonder I have a vitamin D deficiency.

So today I am going to do some retail therapy with GML. I really shouldn’t because I just went shopping over the holiday. Plus I looked at my credit card bill on line and just about fell out of my chair. That’s what I get for doing 90% of my Christmas shopping on line. I will use the debit card today and only get what I need. GML and I will get a $25 gift certificate from the Body Shop because it’s our birthday month, which is too cool.

Maybe shopping will help the blahs...

PS: Shout out to Blithering Moron. Dude, where are you? Your blog is MIA.

Like my fellow instructors, I am preparing my course material for the next semester I use this time to conduct a course autopsy of the classes that I taught the prior semester. What worked? What did not work? What could I do differently?

I am working on my Survey of Law course. I have taught this course for over two years. I am thinking about changing the research component. I think the students are getting wise to the type of assignment I give. I am afraid of receiving “recycled papers’. Plus, I am just tired of the assignment. I am not sure what I will do to replace this assignment. Maybe something more hands on. Something with a problem solving element.

Any thoughts out there?

I know I said that I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I could not resist this one!

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Spend more time snuggling puppies. Get your resolution here

Now, if only the Boy will let me get him a sibling!

Be sure to stop by Russian Violets and wish her a Happy Birthday!

Cheers to you and enjoy the day RV!! You deserve it!!!

Also, belated cheers to Profgrrrrl on her Birthday which was December 29th! Hope it was a good one!!!!!

Capricorns Rule!!!!

Yes, I’ll make a resolution
That I’ll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride...

Trip Around the Sun, by Jimmy Buffett with Martina McBride
From the CD License to Chill. RCA (2004).

2005 was a year of change. I gave up my law practice to focus on teaching. It was not an easy decision to make. I knew deep down, I was not cut out for the traditional practice. But, I could not let go of the thought of all those years of study, the Bar Exam and practice. 10 years of my life dedicated to the law. How could someone give that up?

Easy…I was miserable. I hated the stress. I hated the demands. I hated what the profession had become. It was not what I wanted out of life. I was tired, depressed and constantly ill, both physically and emotionally. I became someone that I did not know.

So, I walked away.

For the most part, I am happy with where I am now. Despite the insanity reported in this blog, it has allowed me to enjoy two things that I love, the law and teaching. Maybe it will lead to teaching at a law school. Maybe it won’t. But for now, it’s working for me. I am happy, healthier and I am getting to know the person staring back in the mirror.

So what’s in store for 2006? I am not very good with New Year’s resolutions. It seems that I am one of those who have good intentions, but either laziness or my own neurosis gets in the way. Usually, I end up dwelling on what I should have done rather than what I should do. I end up beating myself up for not living up to some expectation that I set for myself.

So, I think I will take Jimmy’s advice and just enjoy the ride.