The Waiting Room

Some things are like riding a bicycle. You never forget how to do it. When I started teaching again, it was like I never left. Somehow, I was able to channel my legal experience into my classroom style. I was able to take boring subjects like contract law or commercial law, and believe me they are really boring, and turn them into something the students actually enjoyed learning My students enjoyed the class. And I was enjoying the experience. I was respected among the students and the faculty.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like my spirit resurfaced. For a long time, I felt defeated. I was just going through the motions of life. What teaching gave me was a chance to take something that I truly love, the law, and present it to inquiring minds. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I had a purpose.

At the same time, I was still juggling my practice. It was a difficult balance. (I don’t recommend working full time and teaching part time). There was no way that I could continue with this dance. Plus, my health was still a mess. Everyone, my husband, my doctors, everyone was telling me that I could not keep going on like this. I had to make a decision.

This was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Some of my colleagues thought I was crazy to walk away. How could I give up something I had worked so hard to achieve? Why could I just find something else to do in the law? The voices in my head did not help either. I had to face the reality that. I was not happy practice law. I was very good at it, but not happy with it. I was not happy with the person I saw in the mirror. There was nothing left to prove. I had achieved my life long goal. Now it was time for me.

In January 2005, I began to task of cling my practice. By December 2005, the practice was officially closed.

Any regrets?

In May, it will be 10 years since I graduated law school and all this began. What I learned is that you have to nurture your soul. I was not living my life; I was just drifting in some second rate existence. It took my almost losing everything I had, and endangering my health to learn that lesson. I am not seeking solace (pun intended).

Would I go through it again?

I don’t think I would be where I am today if I had not. I have grown so much since that time. I am not the same girl I was then. In some ways, I am stronger, more outspoken about my needs and more resilient. I think it is the trying experiences that bring out the best in us.

Would I discourage anyone from going to law school or becoming a lawyer?

I am glad I went to law school and became a lawyer. It is one of my greatest accomplishments. I would never tell someone not to go. If your heart tells you to go, you should follow it. Plus, there is a need for good attorneys, especially women. Not everyone is cut out to be the traditional attorney. There are so many opportunities out there.

Will you give up your license?

I still maintain my license and I am still practice, sort of. I am a member of the Law Guardian panel for the Family Court. These are court appointed attorneys who represent the child’s interest in family court matters. It’s nice because I can accept or deny an appointment if I want. The state pays my salary and I am still in the legal loop.

Now you know the rest of the story.


PS: Thanks for all of your comments. This is the first time that I have documented this story. I am so glad it received such a warm reception.