I did not post anything for Music Monday, so here it is a day late.

Now, you too can enjoy the Spider Pig song. It's the chorale version that plays at the end of the Simpsons movie.

Thanks, Weezy, for the link!!!!

You can also see the scene from the film below:

Sadly, Doggie Mama's sweet dog, Bismark, lost his battle with cancer. He was only six years old.

Everything that could possibly be done was done. Chemotherapy, holistic treatments...

I know this is a hard time for Doggie Mama and her husband. Bismark was their little boy. And no doubt his doggie sister, Ryder, is feeling the loss too. There is such a connection that I think many people fail to understand.

Bismark was more than a dog. It would be simplistic and insulting to say so. Just reading Doggie Mama's blog shows the unconditional love and loyalty that she and Bismark shared. There was an unspoken understanding that could be felt every Wednesday when she would post "Wordless Wednesday".

And when the diagnosis was given, there was not question of what needed to be done. It was for Bismark.

Godspeed, fella. I know you will patiently wait for your mom, dad and sister at the Bridge.

HILLARIOUS!!!!

Husband and I went to see it yesterday. Those of you who know me know that I am a Simpsons junkie. I just HAD to see it.

The movie is like a regular episode, but on steroids. In the first 45 minutes, there was a sight gag, sarcastic observation or other items to tickle you funny bone every 20 seconds or so. I laughed so hard I thought I would pee my pants. The last half hour is a little slow, but still very funny.

Bart's skateborading scene was probably the best part!!!!

The animation and graphics are terrific. The characters looked more vibrant. Very cool.

I will not spoil by telling you what happens. But I will tell you this. Stay at the end to watch the credits. There are some funny little simpets. Oh, and the beginning...priceless.

I am still singing the "Spider-Pig" song!!!

Last night, Husband and I went out to dinner with Rented Life and her husband. We dined on one of Lake Effect Snow Central's greatest delicacies. Quite delish. Then, back to our house where RL's hubby gave us entertained us with his wonderful musical talent. RL has a great singing voice too. Of course, the Boy loved the attention. He would not let them leave!!! Much fun had by all. I just hope RL did not have to pop an antihistamine when she got home!


Today, Husband and I made a Target run to get the last of our vacations supplies. We also bought a new beach chair at Dick's. Just a few minor things and we will be ready for our trip next Saturday.


I spent about an hour brushing the Boy. His is shedding like crazy. I filled an entire Target shopping bag with his hair! The Boy and I are going to the nursing home today to do his therapy work. We had to reschedule because I wanted to make sure the cloudiness from his eye infection had cleared. He has the strongest eye-lids. It takes Husband and I to hold him and pry his eye-lids open for the drops!


Tonight, we are going to a graduation party for the son's of Husband's buddies from work. If it is anything like the party B had for his older son two years ago. it will certainly be a blast. Somehow, B is able to make it fun for the teenagers and the adults.


I did get an email from my new employer asking if I want to teach a second section of the Critical Thinking course. It is on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which kind of sucks because I am scheduled for Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The TR class is in the morning, so my whole day would not be shot. But, I am not too jazzed about being on campus five days a week. Maybe I will see if someone would be willing to switch sections so I can have some consistency. We'll see...Maybe I should just follow my new present thought. (see sidebar)


I want to see the Simpsons movie. I heart the Simpsons ever since they were on the Tracey Ullman show. Maybe a matinee tomorrow????

I would probably look like this.

I couldn't get the glasses right. So, imagine me with cat eye glasses!

I can't wait to see the movie. Maybe this weekend?????

Go here to make your own Simpsons avater!

I found a dead rat on my patio!!!!!!!

I am not talking about a mouse. I am talking about a RAT!!!!!. This fucker was the size of a small cat!!!!!!!

I had just finished watering my garden. The neighbor next to J's house was working on the fence between their yards. The neighbor's dog saw me and the Boy and came over to visit. The neighbor came over to retrieve her dog and I gave her one of the green peppers from my garden. When I turned around to go back into my house, there it was next to my patio table.

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!

I let out a scream that could have woke the dead. My neighbor's husband came over to dispose of the carcass. And the Boy? He was totally oblivious to the goings on. He was too busy visiting with the neighbor's dog.

Thanks a lot, Lassie.

I am surprised that I did not see it when I first went outside. I mean how could you miss something like that?

We are having some problems with rats in my neighborhood. There is a new video store being constructed a block away, so that might be part of the problem. Also, some of my neighbors are not so great about covering their garbage cans. The suburb where I live gave us these huge cans on wheels with a lid attached as a means to combat the rat problem.

One of my other neighbors called to tell me that she is having someone from the town drop some bait to deal with the rats, and suggested that we do the same thing. I am not thrilled about this because usually the bait is some kind of poison which I am afraid will be harmful to the Boy. There are a couple of neighborhood cats, owned and stray, that are roaming the area. I wonder if they are on the case?

Anyway, I think my heart rate has returned to normal. But still...EWWWW!

Husband and I are getting ready to go on vacation during the first week in August. I have made a plan to get all of the pre-vacation activities done before we leave. Usually, we are so busy that we put off those things until the last minute, which usually means running around like mad people the day before we leave.

Tuesday was a shopping day. I wanted to go to Old Navy to get flip flops. (Note: they are $2.00 a pair! Go pick up some now!) Then, it was off to the Body Shop to stock up on supplies. I also picked up three tee shirts for Husband at JC Penny's for $5.50 each. I did go to the Ann Taylor Loft. I was able to resist temptation, but let me tell you, it was HARD. There are so many cute things on the sale rack. I should just wait until after I get back from vacation and get some new things for my new job.

In other news, I just received my books for the course I am teaching this fall. I do not like one of the required texts. The book was written in 1983, so I will probably be the only person in the room who gets any of the cultural references, like Dr. Ruth. Plus, the author's premise uses all or nothing logic which is the antithesis of critical thinking. There is nothing on the suggested list that the department provided which gives an alternative view. In fact, the department takes what this author says as gospel. Rented Life told me of a book that does provide a counter opinion. I think I am going to get that book, so I can have some balance.

I spent part of yesterday helping J, the Girl's mom, get ready for a second date with a guy she met a couple of weeks ago. I am her fashion guru. I helped her put together a fab outfit which sadly was the only good part of the date. I guess the guy kept check his cell phone the entire time. Poor thing. She is such a nice girl (I should not say girl because she is only 7 years younger than me!!!) She is so much fun. Even Husband said that he is amazed that no one has snatched her up because she is such a great person. Anyway, she is giving the dude the boot today.

I am also pissed at all of the puff pieces in support of Micheal Vick. If anyone understands "innocent before guilty" is me. However, The indictment is very compelling. We shall see.

The migraines have subsided. Since I have to hoard my Imitrex, I tried Excedrin Migraine. Not as strong as Imitrex, but it did help a little.

Whew. That's a lot of stuff.

I have been battling minor migraines for the past week or so. Not full blown knife stabbing pain, auras and sensitivity to light and sound that keep me from functioning, but just minor irritating variation of those symptoms. I have been popping meds, but the problem still exisits.

What's worse is that my insurance carrier will only allow four Imitrex tablets in a 30 day period. Obviously, these people have not suffered the horrible effects of a migraine. Otherwise, they would not have such a stupid policy. Even my pharmacist was shocked at such a rule. She even called the insurance company to see if there was some kind of mistake.

Nope.

When Husband's company was sold last year, we had to go with the New Company's insurance carrier. The new carrier has been a source of constant stress for us. They are giving us grief over my need to see a Rheumatologist for the RA and an Opthamologist for my eye issues. I have been treating with an Rheumatologist since 2001, when I was diagnosed and with an Ophthalmologist since I was two years old. But, they seem to think that we are making this shit up. On top of that, they hardly cover any services and many providers do not take this particular insurance carrier. Every time I mention this carrier, people just cringe and offer thier sympathy.

It is so bad that some of the people Husband works with were considering quiting. Many, including Husband went to management to complain. Thankfully, management has heard them and we will have a new carrier in September.

But that doesn't help my head!

Any of my other migraine friends feeling the pain?

I just got a call from the attorney who took over one of my cases two years ago. He called to tell me that the parties reached a settlement and I should recieve $1500.00 in attorneys fees!!!!


SWEET!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday and today, I am dog sitting the Girl. Her mom had to go out of town to a funeral and the Girl does not have her kennel cough shots that are requred for boarding. J gave me the keys and instructions and I am going back and forth between our houses. Luckily, J lives next door!

At dinnertime, Husband and I went over to feed the Girl. As we opened the door, she let out this vicious growl, turned around and ran to hide! Once she realized who it was, like a the Lab that she is, it was kisses all around.

This morning, I let the Boy out before I went to check on her. When I let her out, she immediately went to the fence that divides our yards to play the 'chase game" with the Boy. So cute! Later this morning, I will go over to play with her and let her hang out in the yard.


ETA: Here is a pic of the Boy and the Girl. I had to leave the Boy in his yard because of his doggie pink eye. It was hard to get them both in the shot. They were distracted when another dog dared to walk past their houses!!!!

The Girl misses her mom. Even though she wants to play, she keeps looking around for J. J should be back this afternoon, so I am sure it will be a wonderful homecoming.

• The Boy has an eye infection. Last night, his left eye was a little bloodshot. Today, it is cloudy and milky. We are going to the vet later today.
• Woke up this morning with a small migraine. Once again, Imitrex saved the day.
• Yesterday, I hung out with Rented Life at my house. We had such a great time. Husband came home at lunchtime and took us out for lunch. What a guy!
• Tomorrow, I get to wash my hair. I had it professionally straightened on Wednesday and the type of process requires that you don't wash or get it wet for three days. Thursday night was a hoot with GML as we were dodging raindrops after getting pedicures and going out to dinner!
• Thanks to everyone who signed the petition regarding Michael Vick. I just read that the AKC (American Kennel Club) has also sent a letter to the Commissioner of the NFL.

I am sure by now all of you have heard about Michael Vick's federal indictment for dog fighting. I will not go into the horrible details of what these poor dogs had to suffer. But, the Boy and I am going to ask all of the readers, lurkers and people who just found this blog by chance to do me a huge favor.

Please go to this site and sign the petition to have the NFL suspend Michael Vick for his actions.

Whether or not you agree with PETA, I think we can all agree that what Michael Vick is accused of doing is clearly heinous. This is no worse than the actions of Pacman Jones , Ray Lewis or other athletes in trouble with the law. As a dire hard football fan, I am sick and tired of NFL players, and other athletes, getting a "pass" for unacceptable behavior.

What makes Vick's action worse is that these poor dogs cannot protect themselves. And it's because of assholes like Vick who give the American Pit Bull the reputation it currently has. These are loving, beautiful, loyal dogs that need to be treated with dignity and respect.

The whole thing is just sick and just plain wrong.

Please help if you can.

I thank you and so does the Boy! (Woof!)

And you should be too!

Rape victim was barred from using terms like "rape" and "sexual assault" to describe her plight because a judge ruled they could be prejudicial to the defendant.

So you may be wondering "How can this be legal?" Well, judges have broad discretion in determining if the probative value of the presented evidence or testimony is outweighed by it's prejudicial effect to the defendant.

In non legal-ease, it means that if evidence unfairly inflammatory to the defendant, it can't be used.

So in this case, the victim cannot say she was raped to describe what happened to her.

WTF????

Wait a second here. So, the words "rape" or "sexual assault" at trial, despite the fact that the defendant is charged with those crimes? What's next, the word "murder" can't be used to describe someone who is dead?"

Are we to assume that jurors are too stupid to realized that the words used by either victim or defendant are not what determines the outcome in a criminal matter?

Look, I have defended criminals (not rapists). I understand the whole prejudicial effect of evidence, particularly words used to describe my client or what my client allegedly did. I don't think any of them felt unfairly prejudiced by the victim using certain terms to describe what happened. Even if a victim constantly used certain terminology that appears prejudicial, an objection with a move to strike could have been used. (The last sentence opens another can of worms that I am not going to go into here.) A cautionary instruction would also suffice.

But to bar certain words unfairly tips the balance in favor of the defendant. And it makes it difficult for juror to see the victim as a victim.
What this case amounts to is a dispute about sex, or at best, date rape. Where is there justice in that?

I got the job!

Woohoo!!!!!!

OK, I am only teaching one critical thinking course. But, there is the possibility for another, as enrollment is increasing. The pay is better than the old place. (Still adjunct pay, so I will not be able to retire.) The Dean of Academics does not appear to be a complete lunatic. He seems to be on the same page as me with respect to teaching philosophy. It's closer to home, which means no more long commute into the city. And I know someone who teaches there!

WOOHOO!!!!!

Who wants to have a drink with me?????

I have an interview today for a teaching position. It would be another adjunct gig, but at a four year college instead of a two year. So, it's a lateral move with a slight move up in terms of the type of insitution. The position is in the Interdisciplinary Studies department, teaching a course in Critical Thinking and Expression. What is nice is that if I get the job, I will already know someone who teaches there. It will be nice to have a good friend in my corner!!! (You know who you are. Thanks for all your help and guidence!!!!!)

The course is similar to the critical thinking course I taught at my former place of employment. It also has elements of the human relations course that I taught too. So, I gathered samples of assessments and syllabi that I used in those courses to take with me. I think it will help prove my "worthiness" for lack of a better word. I also have my philosophy of teaching statement, evidence and my teaching evaluations. References are on alert for any calls too. I hope I am not forgetting anything.

I am actually really nervous. This is the first time I have done any sort of interview in four or five years. Husband says that I should just be myself and that I am a natural when it comes to interviewing. But, I can help feeling the bats (not butterflies) that are flying around in my stomach.

OK, deep, cleansing breath....

What sucks is that it is going to be warm today. Crap. I would wear a skirt, but that means wearing hosiery, and it is just too freakin' warm for that. So, I guess it's pants. I don't have a skirt long enough to forgo hosiery.

Hmm, better pack the lint brush in my purse. I often carry parts of the Boy with me.

Another cleansing breath....

Wish me luck.

Brazen and Doggie Mama gave me this distinction:

Here's what Dr. Brazen said:

she's so real on her blog, I feel like I actually know her. And I love it when she says the things I'm thinking but don't want to be the one to say. [She also gets a bonus endorsement from Arbitrista, who would tag her for this himself if he was allowed.]

Here's what Doggie Mama said:

Seeking Solace from Thoughts From The Waiting Room. Fellow doggy mama here (I am sensing a theme; are you?)! Seeking Solace is just as crazy about her dog, The Boy, as I am about my Bismarck and Ryder. Two crazy doggy mamas just have to be rockin’ together, don’t you think?

Thank you, ladies!!! I am so honored!!!!!! And of course, you both rock!

Now, I am supposed to list five others who I believe are worthy of the same distinction. The truth is, I think ALL of my readers rock!!! It is hard to single out a few from so many awesome choices!

B*: I mean, who DOESN'T love her? I got to know her outside of the blog world last summer. She is truly a sweet and compassionate gal!

Rented Life: My "local" connection! What an awesome chick! I know her in "real life". She is so much fun to hang out with. She is SO cool!

Chaser: I love her honesty on her blog. I also love her ability to show grace under pressure with the whole V-Tech incident which she was so intimately connected. Plus, she loves hoops and shoes!!!!!

Weezy: I can just imagine kicking back with a few beers and listening to Jimmy Buffett! She is someone I could get into A LOT of trouble with!

Addy N.: Addy N. and I have more in common than many bloggers know. We appreciate the same things, especially a love of the 70's and 80's.

Shrinky: I don't know anyone who is more passionate about her work that her. I think if anyone has a calling for thier profession, it's Shrinky. Plus, she has an inner strength that I so admire. No matter what comes her way, she handles it with such grace and insight. Those idiots at her former school have no idea what they lost.

Prisca: I love her devotion to her faith. She has given me great insight into my own issues regarding religion and spirituality. Plus, she and I attended a certain alma mater, although at different times! How cool is that????

(Opps, that's seven...my bad! But, as I said, this is hard!)

And of course, there are some who already received the distinction that I must mention here.

Lina: I would love to start a fund to have her come to the states! Maybe we could have one big blogger meet up to welcome her! Who doesn't love her "in your face" attitude and her wonderful fashion sense?

Brazen: She is someone I could so hang out with. She is so smart and funny. I love reading her stories from the field. Somehow, I think doing research with her would never be boring. Plus she is a dog and cat mom!

Doggie Mama: Doesn't the name say it all? I love her devotion to her doggies, especially poor Bismark, who is very ill right now.

Finally, I have to give a special "Rockin' Guy Blogger" to Arbitrista. I don't know anyone who gets me to really think about what is going on in the world than him. He takes Republicans and Democrats to task on how ridicules they can be. He asks the questions that I think we all should be asking. Plus, you can tell that he is a good husband by the way he talks about Dr. Brazen on his blog!

Please don't be mad if you were not mentioned. You all rock in your own way. I love my readers and appreciate that you read my ramblings!!!!

Frankie, GML's little boy, graduated from puppy obedience school. He was the vale-dog-torian of his class because he earned the most "bonus bones" during the course. He has decided to continue toward his "Masters" degree!

Doesn't he look like he is smiling? What a good boy!!!!!

There is a local talk radio show that I listen to in the mornings. The regular host is on vacation, so the evening guy filled in. I don't listen to this guy regularly. What I have noticed this week is that he tends to yell at the callers if he does not agree with them.

Today's topic dealt with a dog attack that happened locally. The dog in question was an American pit bull. The substitute host was going on and on about how horrible pit bulls are. He suggested that these, as well as other breeds, should be banned. He gave several examples of pit bull attacks in the news such as the one that killed the woman in San Fransisco, as she attempted to enter her apartment a few years ago.

The dogs in that case were not pit bulls, they were Presa Canario . Not even close to a pit bull.


I decided to call in to correct the misinformation about the San Fransisco story and to voice my opinion on the banning of certain dog breeds. I mentioned to the host that he incorrectly identified the breed of dog in the San Fransisco case as a pit bull. At that point, dude went completely Bill O'Reilly on me (Thanks, GML for that one!) He started screaming at me that I was wrong and that I did not know what I was talking about. I offered to send him the article that I linked above, but he would not hear of it. Finally, in an amazingly calm voice, I said "It is not necessary to yell at me for pointing out your mistake." "Now, I would like to get to my point about pit bulls."

He finally settled down, and I made my point.

I referenced a recent Dog Fancy article about the American Pit Bull and how aggression has unfortunately bred into this breed. In fact, the breed was not breed for protection or aggression. On the contrary, the American Pit Bull Terrier is a cheerful and versatile. They are loving, clownish and so misunderstood (Dog Fancy, July 2007).

In addition, I opined that regardless of the breed of dog, pet guardians have a responsibility to property train and socialize our dogs with family, other people and other animals. Children should be taught not to pull a dog's ears or tail or disturb it while eating. Even the sweetest pet can "snap". We must ensure that if our dog displays any viscous tendencies that it is immediately evaluated by a vet or pet behaviorist.

After all of that, I don't think he agreed with me on any points. But, I am not surprised. I didn't expect him to. I think he had his mind made up at the beginning of the program. Which is fine. But to scream at someone because she pointed out a mistake, and who does not agree with a position, is counter productive and speaks volumes about this person's character.

I guess the station should have a warning to beware of vicious hosts.

Husband and I are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary today!!!!

I was watching the Today Show this morning. Willard Scott profiled a couple who are celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary today. They said that thier secret to being married so long is a deep love for each other and acceptance of each other's faults.

I honestly believe that is what has sustained Husband and I for so long. At the core of our relationship is not only a deep love for each other, but a solid friendship. We are a team, equal partners and best friends. I think Husband knows me better than I know myself.

It hasn't been easy. It has taken a lot of work to keep it together. We have been to Hell and back so many times that I think we own real estate there. We have battled job loss, the bar exam, family problems, the bar exam, relocation, depression, the bar exam, stress, loss, the bar exam, being broke, fitness and fatness, the bar exam (Something about that dam, bar exam!). Despite those and many other issues, we have managed to hang on to each other, never turning against the other. We know that the other isn't perfect.

There has also been so much joy and happiness that just cannot be measured. Sure, there has been some wonderful milestones like our first house, vacations to wonderful places and finally passing the bar exam. But, it's the simple things like enjoying a glass of wine on the back patio on a warm summer night or reading the paper on a Sunday morning that remind me of how special our relationship truly is.

Happy Anniversary, Husband! I love you and I can't wait to get to 75 years!

There are two reality game shows premiering this week in which the contestants have to provide the lyrics to songs. I can't stand the thought of ANOTHER reality show, but the misunderstood song lyric is a great topic for Music Monday!

• There's a bathroom on the right.

Actual lyric:There's a bad moon on the rise. (Bad Moon Rising by CCR)

• You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille. Four hundred children and a crop in the field.

Actual lyric: You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille. Four hungry children and a crop in the field. (Kenny Rogers "Lucille")

• 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy.

Actual lyric: 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. (Jimi Hendrix "Purple Haze")

• Dirty deeds done to sheep.

Actual lyric: Dirty deeds done dirt cheap. (ACDC "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap")

• Dressed up like a douche on of the runner of the night.

Actual lyric: Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night. (Manfred Mann "Blinded by the Light" which was originally done by Bruce Springsteen)

• Big 'Ol Jed left the light on.

Actual lyric: Big 'Ol Jet Airliner (Steve Miller Band "Jet Airliner")

• Blew out my flip flop. Stepped on a pop tart.

Actual lyric: Blew out my flip flop. Stepped on a pop top. (Jimmy Buffett "Margaritaville")

• There's a lemon in front.

Actual lyric: It's an eminence front. (The Who "Eminence Front)

• Ghost man so close to me.

Actual lyric: Don't stand so close to me. (The Police "Don't Stand So Close to Me")

• Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul.

Actual lyric: Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul.(Dobie Gray "Drift Away")

• Just like a one-winged dove.

Actual lyric: Just like a white winged dove. (Stevie Nicks "Edge of Seventeen")

• She's got electric boobs, a mohair too.

Actual lyric: She's got electric boots, a mohair suit. (Elton John "Benny and the Jets")

• Jose can you see?

Actual lyric: O, say can you see? (The Star Spangled Banner)

• The girl with colitis goes by.

Actual lyric: The girl with kaleidoscope eyes. (Beatles "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)

I have to stop, I am laughing my ass off right now! What are some of your faves?

Courtesy of Lina

You Are The Fool

You are a fascinating person who is way beyond the concerns of this world. Young at heart, you are blissfully unaware of any dangers ahead. You are a true wanderer - it has be difficult finding your place in this world. Full of confidence, you are likely to take a leap of faith. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a new phase in your life. This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status. You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry. You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.

The only place where I can watch the Live Earth concert is on Canadian TV. I am surprised that VH1 and MTV are not broadcasting.

I just saw Duran Duran. Just as fab as they were 26 years ago!!!!

Chaser asked for my help regarding this post. I do have some thoughts on the issue. I am working on a post about it. Check back later.

Also, I changed my Present Thought at the sidebar. Given all the drama of late, I think it is appropriate, especially the last sentence.

Today was all about shopping and eating (Not necessarily in that order). My friend, J (who is also the Girl's mom), and I engaged in a little retail therapy and lunch. We stopped at Bath and Body Works, where I picked some antibacterial soap. Not a great deal, as they are now three for $10.00 and the supplies are running low.

Then it was off to the Ann Taylor Loft where I did the most damage. I bought this, this, this in both colors and two of these in white. Why two white tee shirts? Well, I can't keep a white tee shirt to save my life and just the other day, I ruined mine by spilling something on it that did not come out. So I figured, buy two and put one away because I KNOW it's only a matter of time...

After that bit of heinousness, J and I decided we needed to refuel. That meant lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Neither of us have had the pleasure of dinning there, and since cheesecake would be involved, we decided to go for it. Well, let me tell you, the food was absolutely delish!!!! The lunch portions were enough to feed me for a couple of days.

OK, enough about the food, what about the cheesecake???

The cheesecake...(Excuse me while I do my Homer Simpson drooling impression)....I had the tiramisu cheesecake. J had the key lime pie cheesecake. Only one word can describe it "sinful". I am so glad I ate some lunch. I could have just ate the cheesecake for lunch. Regardless, I will be paying for it on the treadmill later!

Fat, happy and giddy from our lunch we continued shopping. Nothing really seemed to catch our eye. Although there were shoes similar to these at Macy's that can on described as "shut up cute". I thought I would forgo temptation and move on.

Last stop, only because we were getting sleepy from all the eating, was DSW. Not much there either. Question: What do stores put the butt-ugliest shoes up front for display? Don''t they know that will scare people from going any further???

Tired and a little poorer, we decided to call it a day. But it was a good day.

And I have leftover cheesecake!!!!

So how does Seeking Solace spend a rainy July 4th?

• Watched four hours of Law and Order marathon.
• Worked out (40 minutes on the treadmill, 25 minutes of weights)
• Took a two hour nap with Husband and the Boy.
• Made orzo with lemon and parsley while Husband grilled chicken with pesto and mozzarella cheese for dinner.
• Snuggled and played with the Boy.
• Read blogs.

Hopefully, there will be fireworks tonight. Luckily, we can watch them from our backyard. The Boy is not bothered by fireworks. Last night, he fell asleep while people in the neighborhood were ushering in the holiday.

The best part of it being a rainy 4th is that Fat Bastard did not have his annual 4th of July barbecue, fireworks and karaoke party. Fat Bastard lives opposite my backyard and down one house. There is a huge field between the backyards of the houses on my street and the backyards on Fat Bastard's street. Fat Bastard feels that the entire field is his property and shoots the fireworks in the direction of our house and our neighbors. Plus, the party usually starts at 11 AM and runs until about 2 AM. Nothing like a bunch of dunk trailer trash singing country karaoke! Every year, my neighbors and I take turns calling the cops.

I just hope that he will not reschedule for this weekend!

Hope you all had a great holiday!!!!

There's a lot of chatter in the blog world today about those with children and those without. Anastasia has a post which discusses the need for more kid friendly places. Shrinky also has a post about our society should rethink its view of children. These posts reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother last week.

Me: "Mom, I can't talk right now, I have a doctor's appointment."
Mom: "Doctor's appointment? What's wrong?"
Me: "Nothing is wrong. It's just a normal check-up."
Mom: Oh, I was hoping you were going to tell me you were pregnant. When are you going to stop this nonsense and have a baby."

Here we go again....

Husband and I do not have children. We do not plan to have children. Does that make us evil? To some, it does. I remember Husband and I attended a party for our godson's first Communion. I sat down with a group of women who were discussing pregnancy and their children. Seeing that I was new to the conversation, they asked me if I had children. I told them that I did not. One of them asked me if I was planing to have children, I again said that I was not. The entire group gave me a look that could freeze hydrogen. Then the one who asked me if I was planning on having children said "Oh, you are one of them!"

This woman didn't know me from a can of paint and she assumed that I was anti child. Some of you may say "Come on, Solace, how do you know what she meant." But, in my experience, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she meant.

Why is a woman's worth based on whether or not she has children? Does it make me less of a woman if I don't have children? Would the conversation be different if I told that woman that I can't have children and we can't afford to adopt? (Not the reason why we don't have children, by the way) Would she have treated me any differently?

Why do people assume that if you don't have children, you are some evil freak of nature. Something must be really wrong with you if you don't have kids, especially in my case, after being married for 15 years and almost 40 years old.

We made the decision with the most careful reflection. We felt that some of my health issues would make child-rearing difficult. There have been people who told me that I should put aside my health concerns aside and that things will work themselves out. Forget that I have discussed my concerns with my physicians and they agree with my assessment. Forget that my husband and I know our circumstances better than anyone else. We should just do what others think we should do or what society and religion think we should do.

Another reason why we chose not to have children is because neither one of us really feels the desire to raise children.

(OK, insert "You're being selfish" argument....NOW.)

Look, I am just being honest. There are just some people who just are not cut out to be parents and I happen to be one of them. I have never felt the want or desire to be a parent. I think Shrinky said it best:

"Not everyone needs kids, not everyone should have kids (or at least not as early as they have them), and not everyone has the wherewithal to parent in a good-enough manner."

But there are those who suggest, "You'll feel different when it's your own child." Children are not things. You can't return it because you change your mind or "realize" that being a parent is not what it is cracked up to be. It's a life long commitment. It's just a commitment that I am not willing to make. Am I being selfish? Perhaps. But look at how many people have children and regret thier decision. At least I know where I stand.

But what really gets me is that there are those out there who call people like me who chose not to have children a "child hater." When one uses the word "hate", it evokes the strongest possible negative reaction. When I think of hating someone, I think of Hitler, Bin Laden, or child molesters, not people who chose not to have children.

I don't 'hate" children. What I dislike are those who assume that I 'hate" children because I do not want to have children. And just because I get frustrated with those parents who do not discipline thier children when the need arises, that does not make me a child hater. And if I prefer for some entities to be child free does not make me a "child hater". But what I gathered from some of the comments that I read on this subject is that I am a "child hater" or "anti child" becuase I feel the way that I do.

I think the bottom line on this issue is that we need to respect other positions, opinions and boundaries. No one should feel less than because of thier circumstance. And no one should feel superior or entitled because of their circumstance. This is true for BOTH sides of the issue.

It's time to stop the hatin'.

Issue #1: Scooter Libby

I am incensed over the whole Scooter Libby thing. Sweet merciful crap, why even have a judicial system? What's the friggin' point?

And this " I respect the jury's decision, but" shit. Whenever someone uses the word "but" it means "forget what I just said, I am going to tell you what I really think." It basically says, "Sorry ladies and gentlemen of the jury, but you are too incompetent to make the decision that I think is right, so I am going to do it for you."

That's not what our legal system is supposed to be. Where is the judge who kept Paris in jail when you need him?

Issue #2: Hockey

Favorite Hockey team failed to sign BOTH team captains prior to the free agency deadline.

One the guys was offered the exact same contract he currently has. Yeah, like that's going to keep someone around for another season.

Management worked out a deal with the other guy last fall. But, someone in management forgot to send the paperwork to the player! So, without a deal, the player was free to go somewhere else!

What the fuck is up with that? Incompetence?

Issue #3: Fence Installation

I wish we had not gone with the people who are installing our new fence. There has been so much confusion. The sales guy was a total idiot. Even though we told him over and over again what kind of fence we wanted, he wrote one thing on the contract and something else on the work order. Also, three is no fence post where the fence is supposed to connect to the house.

Um, what's the point of having a fenced in yard if you leave part of it open so that my dog can get out?

Crap.

I used to think that the world went to hell in a hand-basket when David Lee Roth left Van Halen. Now, I am re-thinking my position.

The Boy has been pouting all day.

The fence crew started work today. They are digging new holes and putting in the concrete. That means that the Boy cannot play in his backyard until this evening.

Poor Boy! I think I will ask the Girl's mom if the Boy can come over to play later. (The Girl is the Chocolate Lab next door).

I dropped out of mediation training after two days.

Why? Well, I am glad you asked!

One of the participants in the mediation was the annoying older woman who is one of those people who love to toot her own horn about all of her life's accomplishments. Even if the conversation was about something totally unrelated to anything about her, she would steer it back to something about her.

But that is not what did it for me. During the second day of training the facilitator asked for volunteers to participate in a mock mediation based on a fact pattern the class was discussing. The woman, I will call her "M", immediately volunteered to play the role woman whose persona was that of an antagoizer (Surprise, surprise). While there were characters in this role play, two of the players chose to use thier real names, rather than the character names to avoid any confusion. But M insisted on being addressed as K, her character in the role play.

M was combative, insulting and quite viscous in her interaction with the facilitator and the other role players. It was hard to determine whether M was just role playing or showing her true self. I kept looking around the room to see if anyone noticed that distinction.

Finally, the facilitator took a break so that the class could discuss what occurred. At one point, I raised my hand to express one of my observations. I mentioned something about M, who in turn looked at me and said, "I am not M, I am K".

Me: "Excuse me?"

M: "I'm not M, I am K!"

Me: "OK, so you have now assumed K's identity. That is REALLY creepy!"

M continued to call herself K for the rest of the day.

I know what some of you are thinking "Seeking Solace, you did not drop out of mediation training because of the actions of one, somewhat, delusional person, did you?"

Now, come on, people! You know me better than that! There is a lesson to be learned here.

And here it is.

What I realized is that I am not good handling intense conflict and confrontation. The bottom line is I just don't know if I can handle the high level of conflict and confrontation that exists in a mediation. The intensity level was just as bad as when I was am attorney. Let me tell you, I have dealt with some people with some serious mental health issues, people who needed anger management and one guy who threatened to kill me. And that's just the clients. Don't get me started on other attorneys!

M was a perfect example of what I would have to encounter on a regular basis. During the role play, I could feel my own anxiety level rising as I sat in the audience. At one point, I just wanted to stand up and say to M "Oh, will you just shut the fuck up, already!" Not something a mediation should say!

This is a huge step for me. In the past, I have forced myself to continue things that I know are not good for me either physically or emotionally. I would tell myself that I have to suck it up and deal. In the past, that has proven to be bad advice. What I need is to engage in things that lift me up and don't have a huge impact on my physical and mental health.

So in the end, M did me a huge favor. I'd thank her, but I don't know whom I would encounter, M or K!

We got a call from the fence people that they want to start installing the new fence on Monday. That's two weeks earlier than we thought. At least Husband only had two more posts to dig up. He has spent the last few weekends digging up posts, 12 in all.

Yesterday, he took down the entire fence which means that the Boy cannot be outside unsupervised. That was fine, since I was out there supervising him. The Boy comes when he is called, but he had a little distraction enter into his yard. Another dog came trotting over into the Boy's turf. This dog was just a young pup, so the Boy did not give him any grief. Plus, the pup was very friendly, so he and the Boy romped and played together.

I was concerned that this poor pup was running loose in the neighborhood. We live on a quiet street, but the streets that connect ours can be rather busy. I called the pup over to me and checked his collar.

NO TAGS!

About 20 minutes later, one of my neighbors came by and said "Oh, there's Chance, his owners have been frantically looking for him!" Turns out, Chance lives three houses down the street from me. He got out through a hole in the fence at his house! I told my neighbor that I would have kept Chance until someone came by looking for him. Besides, he and the Boy were having a blast.

I am pissed that poor Chance did not have the proper identification. I am a firm believer in microchipping. The Boy is microchipped. But that does not serve as a substitute for an id tag on the collar. The Boy has two ID tags. One that hangs on the ring of the collar and anther that slides on the collar itself. If Chance had proper tags, I could have walked him home myself.

But, I am glad that Chance made it home OK. Plus, the Boy has a new friend.