The Waiting Room

Some things are like riding a bicycle. You never forget how to do it. When I started teaching again, it was like I never left. Somehow, I was able to channel my legal experience into my classroom style. I was able to take boring subjects like contract law or commercial law, and believe me they are really boring, and turn them into something the students actually enjoyed learning My students enjoyed the class. And I was enjoying the experience. I was respected among the students and the faculty.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like my spirit resurfaced. For a long time, I felt defeated. I was just going through the motions of life. What teaching gave me was a chance to take something that I truly love, the law, and present it to inquiring minds. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like I had a purpose.

At the same time, I was still juggling my practice. It was a difficult balance. (I don’t recommend working full time and teaching part time). There was no way that I could continue with this dance. Plus, my health was still a mess. Everyone, my husband, my doctors, everyone was telling me that I could not keep going on like this. I had to make a decision.

This was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Some of my colleagues thought I was crazy to walk away. How could I give up something I had worked so hard to achieve? Why could I just find something else to do in the law? The voices in my head did not help either. I had to face the reality that. I was not happy practice law. I was very good at it, but not happy with it. I was not happy with the person I saw in the mirror. There was nothing left to prove. I had achieved my life long goal. Now it was time for me.

In January 2005, I began to task of cling my practice. By December 2005, the practice was officially closed.

Any regrets?

In May, it will be 10 years since I graduated law school and all this began. What I learned is that you have to nurture your soul. I was not living my life; I was just drifting in some second rate existence. It took my almost losing everything I had, and endangering my health to learn that lesson. I am not seeking solace (pun intended).

Would I go through it again?

I don’t think I would be where I am today if I had not. I have grown so much since that time. I am not the same girl I was then. In some ways, I am stronger, more outspoken about my needs and more resilient. I think it is the trying experiences that bring out the best in us.

Would I discourage anyone from going to law school or becoming a lawyer?

I am glad I went to law school and became a lawyer. It is one of my greatest accomplishments. I would never tell someone not to go. If your heart tells you to go, you should follow it. Plus, there is a need for good attorneys, especially women. Not everyone is cut out to be the traditional attorney. There are so many opportunities out there.

Will you give up your license?

I still maintain my license and I am still practice, sort of. I am a member of the Law Guardian panel for the Family Court. These are court appointed attorneys who represent the child’s interest in family court matters. It’s nice because I can accept or deny an appointment if I want. The state pays my salary and I am still in the legal loop.

Now you know the rest of the story.


PS: Thanks for all of your comments. This is the first time that I have documented this story. I am so glad it received such a warm reception.

Obviously, I quit working at Big Law Firm. There was no way I was going back to that environment. I took the next six months off. I went to therapy, slept, played with my dog, and tried to get my life back. And plot my next move.

I was not ready to just give up. I am one of those insanely driven people. I always feel like I have to prove to the world that it wasn’t a mistake that I made it this far. It was clear that I had bad luck with working for people. So, I thought, why not work for myself. I could control what cases I would take. I could set my own hours. And the only person I would have to answer to was me.

With $3,000.00 of my own money. I hung up my own shingle. I started working out of my house with only a computer, fax and a phone. Business took off like a rocket. I was a general practitioner, focusing on female clients. I learned early on the many women feel more comfortable talking to female attorney. Of course I accepted male clients, but many of my clients seemed to be women. Within six months, I was able to move out of the house and into a small office space that had office support. It was a good thing too, because it is hard to separate working from home with having a private life at home. I broke even the first year.

I ran my own practice for three years. There were good days. Like the father I represented who was desperately trying to obtain custody of his children because mom wanted to spend time with her crack head boyfriend. She left the kids home with him one day and he in turn, left the kids home alone to buy crack. In my state, it is very difficult for a father to gain full custody. I was able to win at trial. He and his new wife sent me a Christmas card thanking me for making his family complete. Those were the cases that made practicing law worthwhile.

It was not all glamorous. I was the secretary, bookkeeper, accountant, file manager, and attorney. Although doing this helped keep costs low, it was very taxing. Then there were some memorable clients. There was the guy who threatened to kill me because he did not receive his Worker’s Compensation settlement. My husband had a little “conversation” with him. There was the ex-husband of a client of mine who left harassing voice mails. Husband and Process Server (a personal friend who resembles Tony Soprano) paid him a visit. And of course the numerous clients who complained, whined, and groaned because their case was taking too long. Not because of any malfeasance on my part, but because either the system or some unforeseen circumstance caused the delay.

During this time, I was grouchy, tired, and worn out. The RA was not stabling, so I was sick most of the time. I was often depressed and not feeling very human. My doctors were constantly on my case about the effects of all the stress on my health. Plus, all the stress was taking a toll on my marriage. Husband was constantly worried that I would have another breakdown. We argued constantly about how all of the stress was affecting me and our marriage. He wanted his wife back. But I was not willing to admit that things were so bad. Plus, I did not want to give up something that I had worked so hard to attain. What the hell was I going to do if I was not a lawyer?

But deep down, I know that I was not in love with the law anymore. At least not in the traditional sense. While I loved the concepts, I did not enjoy the practice anymore. It was a constant battle of how would I survive another day.

About two years ago, I was having lunch with a friend from law school. She had mentioned that her husband, who graduated a year prior to us, was asked to teach a Survey of Law class at a local college. He could not do it because of his work schedule. I was intrigued. It was like someone shied a light for me. I told her that I have a teaching degree and maybe this would be a nice distraction for me. She gave me the information and I sent out my resume that same day. The next morning I got a call for an interview. I was hired on the spot.

What happened was amazing. I feel in love with teaching again.

OK, tomorrow I will wrap this up.

Claire tagged me. So I guess I better keep the chain going. Don’t worry; I am working on the final installment of my law story. I will post that either tomorrow or Monday

The Five Weird Things About Me:

1. I am allergic to mushrooms. My face swells like a balloon!


2. I like country music. Not the twangy “my woman’s gone, my dog is dead and I lost my job” stuff, but I do like the new stuff. The new stuff has more of a rock base to it. Besides it is better than the crap that is playing on the radio.


3. I an snake-phobic. I can't even look at one on TV or in a book!


4. I hold conversations with the Boy.


5. I like to eat dry cereal. No milk!

Here comes the sun.
Here comes the sun.
And I say, it’s all right.

Here Comes the Sun, by the Beatles
Written by George Harrison.
From the Album, Abby Road Capitol Records, 1969.

The sun made an appearance in Lake Effect Snow Central today. The sun has been MIA for 17 days!!! Only problem is that it is 26 degrees outside and the wind chill is 9 degrees!!!

But it's all right!

It did not take long for me to find another job. I landed a position at Big Law Firm. Unlike most large law firms, this one was dedicated to representing the little guy. The majority of the clients were the middle class and unions. I had found my place in the legal world.

I was assigned to the litigation and compensation department, specifically compensation. For the most part, I liked my job. I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do. I enjoyed helping the little guy. I was viewed as a bit of a maverick; I did not follow some of the traditional large law firm traps, like working on Saturdays, just to be seen and kissing up to the big wigs. I basically just did my job and flew below radar.

The Senior Partner in my departments was a know it all and believed that he was always right. No matter the issue, his way was the right way, Even if you knew you were right and could prove it, you were wrong. Of course, I was used to this, having worked for a know it all at my last job. You just smile and cater to that person’s ego. Then you do the right thing.

But Senior Partner was also a rageoholic. The entire staff walked on eggshells whenever he was in the office. He would go off on the slightest little issue or non issue. Every other word that came out of his mouth was “fuck”. All of us, attorneys and staff, were subject to his daily dress downs, insults and rants. We were told we were stupid, incompetent and worthless. And that was a good day.

For me, it was quite difficult. I had grown up in a household with a parent that was just like Rageoholic Senior Partner. I spend time in therapy trying to deprogram all the tapes that played in my head as a child and get to a place where I felt good about myself. I tried to distance myself from his personal attacks and fall back on all the techniques I had learned. But as time went on, I began to feel like that abused child again. It was wearing on me both physically and emotionally.

One day, Rageoholic Senior Partner summoned me to his office. He began to yell at me about a case I had handled. The case involved a man who was a member of one of the unions that the firm had on retainer. I represented a man at a hearing. Prior to the hearing, he told me that he would cause physical harm to his employer and their attorney if things did not go his way. I took that threat seriously and asked the court deputy for extra security for the hearing. Witchy Associate overheard my conversation. She tattled to Rageoholic Senior Partner. Rageoholic Senior Partner told me that I had no business asking for extra security and that this guy could sue us for defamation. When I tried to explain that I was only looking out for my safety and that of the other people in the hearing, he said that THAT DID NOT MATTER!! MY SAFETY WAS NOT IMPORTANT!! He proceeded to scream at me for another 10 minutes.

When he finished, I began to walk back to my office. I was in a fog. For some reason, the walk to my office took longer than usual. It seemed like I was in a tunnel. My heart was racing, I could not breathe. When I got to my office, I could feel the walls closing in on me. I felt this feeling of impending doom. I wanted to jump out my office window, not to kill myself, but to escape.

Somehow, I was able to call Husband. He showed up at my office and found me curled up in a ball in the corner. He picked me up and carried me to the car. According to him, I was catatonic. He rushed me to the hospital. I had suffered a major panic attack and an emotional breakdown.

I had hit rock bottom. What was I going to do now?

This story keeps getting interesting….

Pi, Kiss My Mike and others have asked me to write about why I gave up being a lawyer. I have given the abbreviated version in some posts, but here’s the full story.

It has been 10 years since I graduated from law school. For as long as I can remember, I loved the law. I always wanted to go to law school and become a lawyer. I wanted to help people who could not help themselves. I started as a pre-law major in college. Some family members discouraged me from entering the profession. I was told that it would be ‘too hard” and I would not be successful. I bought into the garbage that my family spooned me. So I switched my major to education.

After college, I married Husband and earned a Master’s in my content area, With the help of Husband and a good therapist, I decided that it was time for me to do what is right for me and no one else. I was happier and emotionally health so why not. I applied to law school and was accepted. It was tough, but I loved the intellectual challenge. I enjoyed my courses and my professors. Thankfully, I did not have any professors like Professor Kingsfeld from the Paper Chase! I took all the traditional bar exam courses, plus a few criminal law courses. I also clerked for a solo practitioner who handled criminal matters for indigent persons.

One of the things that law school did not prepare me for was the bar exam. The bar exam was the hardest thing I ever had to encounter. I had to take it a few times. This was extremely frustrating, because I had always been successful academically. But for some reason, I could not pass this stupid test. Part of the problem was that I am such a perfectionist. I had to learn that for this one time in my life, it was perfectly acceptable to earn a “D”. Once I grasped that, I passed and was admitted to practice.

It did not take very long for me to find a job. In my zeal to find employment and to start paying off the student loan debt, I took the first offer. My first job was with a small law firm that handled personal injury claims on behalf of insurance companies. It was not criminal practice and it certainly was not helping those that needed help. But unlike most people who start out as lawyers, I was not relegated to doing research. Since the firm was small, the partners wanted the associates to get their feet wet as soon as possible. Three months into my first job, I was handling depositions and motions on my own. So even though I was not doing what I really wanted, I was gaining valuable experience.

The job was like any other lawyer job; long hours and crappy pay. But I was doing what I wanted and I enjoyed doing it. Then one day, as I was getting ready for work, I got a phone call from Angry Partner. He said that my services were no longer needed and he hung up the phone. I was shocked. I did not think I had done anything that would result in my being fired. About five minutes latter, Know It All Partner called and explained that he, Socialite Partner and Angry Partner had a falling out and Angry Partner quit. He and Socialite Partner could not keep all the associates, so one of us had to go. Since I was the last one in, I would be the first to go.

I was out of a job. But that did not last long.

Stay tuned for Part Two!

Is it me or is there a great amount of “blah” going on out there in blogland? Now that the high of the holidays are over, it seems like everyone has crashed. January is a blah month. With the exception of my birthday, January 11th, it is pretty dark and dreary. My neck of the wood, Lake Effect Snow Central, has gone 15 days without a sunny day. I guess if there is 3% sunshine that qualifies as a sunny day. No wonder I have a vitamin D deficiency.

So today I am going to do some retail therapy with GML. I really shouldn’t because I just went shopping over the holiday. Plus I looked at my credit card bill on line and just about fell out of my chair. That’s what I get for doing 90% of my Christmas shopping on line. I will use the debit card today and only get what I need. GML and I will get a $25 gift certificate from the Body Shop because it’s our birthday month, which is too cool.

Maybe shopping will help the blahs...

PS: Shout out to Blithering Moron. Dude, where are you? Your blog is MIA.

Like my fellow instructors, I am preparing my course material for the next semester I use this time to conduct a course autopsy of the classes that I taught the prior semester. What worked? What did not work? What could I do differently?

I am working on my Survey of Law course. I have taught this course for over two years. I am thinking about changing the research component. I think the students are getting wise to the type of assignment I give. I am afraid of receiving “recycled papers’. Plus, I am just tired of the assignment. I am not sure what I will do to replace this assignment. Maybe something more hands on. Something with a problem solving element.

Any thoughts out there?

I know I said that I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I could not resist this one!

Be sure to stop by Russian Violets and wish her a Happy Birthday!

Cheers to you and enjoy the day RV!! You deserve it!!!

Also, belated cheers to Profgrrrrl on her Birthday which was December 29th! Hope it was a good one!!!!!

Capricorns Rule!!!!

Yes, I’ll make a resolution
That I’ll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride...

Trip Around the Sun, by Jimmy Buffett with Martina McBride
From the CD License to Chill. RCA (2004).

2005 was a year of change. I gave up my law practice to focus on teaching. It was not an easy decision to make. I knew deep down, I was not cut out for the traditional practice. But, I could not let go of the thought of all those years of study, the Bar Exam and practice. 10 years of my life dedicated to the law. How could someone give that up?

Easy…I was miserable. I hated the stress. I hated the demands. I hated what the profession had become. It was not what I wanted out of life. I was tired, depressed and constantly ill, both physically and emotionally. I became someone that I did not know.

So, I walked away.

For the most part, I am happy with where I am now. Despite the insanity reported in this blog, it has allowed me to enjoy two things that I love, the law and teaching. Maybe it will lead to teaching at a law school. Maybe it won’t. But for now, it’s working for me. I am happy, healthier and I am getting to know the person staring back in the mirror.

So what’s in store for 2006? I am not very good with New Year’s resolutions. It seems that I am one of those who have good intentions, but either laziness or my own neurosis gets in the way. Usually, I end up dwelling on what I should have done rather than what I should do. I end up beating myself up for not living up to some expectation that I set for myself.

So, I think I will take Jimmy’s advice and just enjoy the ride.

Now that I am feeling somewhat human, let me tell you about my trip to Redneckville.

My mother was diagnosed with lymphoma. It came as a total surprise. My mom is 65 years old and in pretty good heath until now. A couple of weeks ago, she found this lump under her arm. She had surgery to remove the lump for biopsy before Christmas. She got the results on Tuesday. The hope is that the doctors caught it early. She will see the oncologist after the New Year. She is hopeful about the diagnosis.

My mother does not want to tell my brother about her cancer. Sadly, neither of us has spoken to my brother in over a year. This also means that we have not seen his three daughters in that time. My brother had an affair two years ago which produced a child, my nephew. While he acknowledges paternity and pays child support, he refuses to have anything to do with his son. Since my mother and I have a relationship with his son, we have been excluded from his family. What makes this story even sadder is that my mother and brother live in the same town. I have many thoughts about this, which I may post later.

While in Redneckville, we stayed with Husband’s family, which is always an interesting venture. My in laws have a small house with one bathroom. That is not usually a problem, but my husband’s brother, wife, and two children, ages 3 ½ and 5 ½, also stayed with the parents. Not much in the way of privacy or quiet. My 3 ½ year old niece had four meltdowns on Monday before noon.

My in laws suffer from Grandparent Syndrome. They spoil my niece and nephew rotten. They have more toys than Toys R Us. My in laws just gush over everything that my niece and nephew do. “Look, niece took a crap in the toilet….how cute!” Also, they let them get away with murder. Husband just laughs when he hears his mom say “Now, don’t do that” or “Please don’t touch that”. Husband says that if it was him and his brothers, the dialogue would be more authoritative, coupled with a few cuss words!

I also spent some time with my best friend, Piglet (her nickname, of course!). We went on a sinful shopping spree, had a wonderful dinner and never stopped talking to take a breath. We have been best friends for almost 25 years. Piglet is like the sister I never had. It’s hard to find someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

So, we returned home, stuffed from the eating and festivities, yet happy to be home in our own house and with the Boy. Family has always been a love-hate relationship for me. I love visiting with them, I hate spending too much time with them. I hate dealing with the garbage that makes me feel like I am eight years old, but I love the tradition and rituals that we share.

I guess that is what family is all about.

Happy New Year to Everyone!!!!!!!

I am back from Redneckville, complete with a nasty cold. I will recap my interesting trip later.

My friend Lynn sent me a really cool Christmas E-card. I know Christmas is over, but this is just too cool! (You have to click to a few sites to get to it.)

Enjoy!!!!

I made it home around 10:00 PM last night. All grades submitted. All attendance rosters submitted. To celebrate, Husband and I polished off a bottle of Yellow Tail, courtesy of GML. (Thanks again GML!)

The Boy got a Christmas present from his girlfriend, The Girl. (The Girl is a chocolate Lab that lives next door). He got a basket of peanut butter doggie biscuits. The Boy presented her with a giant organic biscuit in the shape of a bone. (The Girl has some food allergies, so organic is a safe bet).

Husband and I will exchange gifts tonight over dinner and wine. Then we will wrap the presents that we are taking with us. We leave tomorrow for Redneckville, USA to visit the family. Husband took the Boy to the Doggie Hotel and Spa this morning. We will give him his presents when we return.

I will be incommunicado for the next few days, so no blog posts until Wednesday or Thursday.

To all my readers, friends, and blog mates, Merry Christmas! (Or Happy ****! *= insert PC term)

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear
You’re a butterfly
And butterflies are free to fly
Fly away
Fly away
Bye-bye.

Somebody Save My Life Tonight, by Elton John
From the CD Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, MCA 1975.

I am done….
Tired, but done.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Seeking Solace has left the building!

I’d sure hate to break down here
There’s nothin’ up ahead or in the review mirror
Out in the middle of nowhere know
I’m in trouble if the wheels stop rollin’

So God help me keep movin’ somehow
Don’t let me start wishin’ I was with him now
I made it this far with crying a single tear.
I sure hate to break down here.

Break Down Here, by Julie Roberts
From the CD, Julie Roberts, Mercury Nashville (2004)

I am hanging on by a thread. Yesterday, I just wanted to cry.

One more class to go….

So I have proved
Some things can't be moved
And here I wait
But my faith is weak
And the water is creeping up to my chin, and
I' m waiting for the tide to turn
Waiting for the tide to turn
Waiting, waiting for the tide
To take me away.

Waiting for the Tide, by Melanie Doane
From the CD Adam's Rib, Sony Music (1998).

Last night I received an email from a student which read:

Dear Professor:

I am disappointed with the C grade you gave me on my research paper. I am a good student and I work hard to maintain my 4.0 grade point average. I do not think that it is fair that you require your students to submit pre-project assignments. I know how to write a research paper. I should not be treated like I am in the second grade. I thought that the pre project assignments were extra credit. I did not think I had to do them. Because of this, my perfect grade point average is ruined. I think you are a great teacher, but your policy is wrong. I am taking this to the Dean. It's nothing personal.

Signed, Angry 4.0 Student

First, it clearly states in the research project that the pre-project assignments are part of the overall project grade. The due dates are given in the project and on the tracking calendar. So, there is no reason why someone would have thought that these assignments were extra credit, right?

Wrong! When I spoke to the DI about this, she said that the student recalls my saying that these were "free points". So she took that to mean extra credit. I am having trouble buying that argument. The students receive credit for submitting the pre-project assignments, even if there are mistakes. So I am spotting them 50 points out of 100 from the beginning. Does this sound like extra credit? I don't know. I am a little biased becausease it is my project...

But what irks me the most is the nerve of this student to send an email like that and say that it's nothing personal. I feel like she disrespected me. Why didn't she just come and talk to me face to face? I know I should not take it personally, but it is hard not to.

Incidentally, she earned a "B" in my law class.

And then, just when I thought it was safe, Plagiarism Case II.

Whenever I sense a case of plagiarism, I will engage in an exhaustive search until I find it. I am on a quest. I am a woman possessed. I will not stop until I find the source of the plagiarized material.

I spent a significant amount of time helping this student with her project during the course of the semester. I provided suggestion, reviewed research and gave her moral support. When she submitted her paper to me on Monday, she announced that she changed her topic at the last minute. That made the antenna go up. As I read the first page, I could tell that this was not her work. The paper read like a graduate student thesis. Plus, the cites were suspicious.

It took a while,.but I was able to figure out how she plagiarized. I must say, this student was slick. She dug deep into a webpage on the death penalty to copy the information. Buried deep in the article sectionof this website was the smoking guns. I found three instances where she copied the information, word for word. In one case, she even copied the tag marked "For more information, go to this website".

The student will fail my class as a result of the "F" grade on her paper. What makes matters worse is that as a result of the "F", she has reached her maximum time frame for financial aid. She can never return to school.

What hurts the most is that I spent a great amount of time helping this student. I was always available, ready and willing to provide help. Yet, she decided to take the bite of the forbidden fruit. It solved her problem for the short term. But the consequences are far greater. And most of all, I have lost any once of respect I had for her.

Why don't they use their skills for good instead of evil?

Well I won't back down, no I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down

Won’t Back Down, by Tom Petty
From the CD, Full Moon Fever, MCA 1989.

So, I told the student who committed the plagiarism that she would have to repeat the class. She was very angry with me.

Student: But I did the pre-project assignments and all the homework.

SS: Yes you did. But, because you plagiarized your final paper, you only received 50/100 for the research paper. Plus, you chose not to do your presentation, which was another 50 points and 10% of your final grade. And you failed the exam you took yesterday. When I added everything, you received 65% for the course. (A student must have 70% to pass)

Student: But I don’t understand. I can’t take this class over because I can’t get no financial aid. So I gotta pay out of my own pocket. And I was supposed to graduate. You ruined it for me.

(Excuse me... ’ruined it for her”? I did not tell her to make the choices that she made).

SS: While I am sympatric to your financial situation, I cannot justify giving you a passing grade. You have 65%. Also, you did not complete a major portion of the course requirements.

The Student stomps out of the room, mutter something under her breath that I could not understand, but I have not doubt that it contained my name along with a few cuss words.

Later in the faculty room, the Associate Dean of Students comes to see me. She is waiving an appeal form in my face. Her tone is angry and arrogant.

ADS: What is the story with this student? Why are you failing her? She said she completed her assignments…

SS: Did she tell you about the fact that she plagiarized her final paper?

ADS: Yes, but I don’t think you should fail her.

SS: Well, did she also tell you that she refused to do her oral presentation, and received 0/50?

ADS: No…

SS: Did she also tell you that she failed yesterday’s exam?

ADS: No, but I can’t see how she could fail…

So, I showed her my grade book.

ADS: Isn’t there anything that can be done? You are not being fair.

SS: No. I am not backing down from this. You cannot commit plagiarism, refuse to complete a required element of my class, receive a total grade of 65% AND expect to pass my class. I think it is VERY FAIR.

Later, I talked to my boss, the Dean of Instruction, who incidentally outranks the Associate Dean of Students. She was pissed that the ADS confronted me in that manner. The ADS should have spoken to the DI. The DI said that the ADS spoke with her after talking to me. The ADS felt that I did not understand our students and was out of line and unfair. The DI told me that she agrees with me 100% and will back me up if this goes any further. The DI also told me that this is the second time this student was caught for plagiarism!!!!

So, if I understand the culture at my college, we reward plagiarism and poor academic performance by turning a blind eye because we need to “understand” the student’s plight. The concept that numbers do not lie means nothing. And to top it off, we take a student’s word over an instructor; we corner the instructor and have her justify her policies.

Am I missing something here?????

(Just gotta get used to it) We all get it in the end
(Just gotta get used to it) We go down and we come up again
(Just gotta get used to it) You irritate me my friend
This is no social crisis.
Just another tricky day for you.

Another Tricky Day, performed by the Who
Written by Pete Townsand. From the Album, Face Dances , MCA (1981).

Unlike many of my blog mates, I am still lost in the abyss called finals week. Why my college thinks that running the semester until one day before Christmas Eve confuses, perplexes and bewilders me. Grades are due on Friday. With a little luck, I will be done by Thursday morning.

Today, as I plow through the mountains of research papers, it happened. I should not be surprised, because every semester for the past two years, it has happened. I should expect it. I should be numb to the fact that it happens. I should accept that no matter what I do, it will happen.

I am talking about plagiarism. It has been the subject of this and many other blogs. There are many articles and new stories about the high incidence of plagiarism in college. So, why does a part of me feel like I have been sucker punched by Mike Tyson?

My student, who was the subject of the post titled Fear, committed plagiarism on her research paper. Did she think I would not notice? Did she think that I would not check her sources, especially those found on the Internet? But I think the most important question is: Did she think that she would not get caught?

Well, long story short, I gave her an “F” for the paper. That’s 30% of her grade. Add the big fat honking “F” she received as a result of her refusal to do her oral presentation, and she has failed 40% of the course. Needless to say, I will see her next semester. I guess it true what they say about paybacks.

I know that she will not be the last. I have three other classes that have papers.

And three more tricky days for me.

PS: Thanks to Husband for suggesting the lyric from the Who!

So I decided to take a little break from grading. I lifted this from Angry Pregnant Lawyer.

Seven things to do before I die:
1. Write a song and have it performed by me
2. Write a book
3. Travel to Eurpoe with Husband
4. Own 160 acres of land with a house, pond, forest and room for dogs and horses
5. Make peace with my family
6. Take voice and piano lessons
7. Drive arcoss the country with Husband

Seven things I can (or will) not do:
1. Smoke
2. Be afraid to speak up when I think someone is being abused or harmed
3. Forget where I came from.
4. Wear fur
5. Listen to gansta rap
6. Take anyone or anything for granted
7. Give up caffinee

Seven things that attract me to my spouse:
1. His kind heart
2. His integrety
3. His smile
4. His sense of humor
5. His ability to love me when I don’t love me
6. His intelect
7. His faith

Seven things I say most often:
1. Sit (to the Boy)
2. Leave it (to the Boy)
3. WTF or What the fuck?
4. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
5. What the hell….
6. No (to my students and the Boy)
7. I love you (to Husband)

Seven books (or series) I love (these aren't necessarily my top 7, but they are 7 I love):
1. The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
2. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Haper Lee
3. Alng Came a Spider or anything by James Patterson
4. Bones Would Rain from the Sky: Deepening Our Relationships with Dogs, by Suzanne Clothier
5 The 100 Peiple who are Screwing Up Americal, and Al Frankin is #37, by Bernard Goldberg
6. The Color of Water, by James McBride
7. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, by Maya Angelou

Seven movies I watch over and over again (I am a movie freak and could watch a billion movies over and over again, so here are just the first 7 I thought of):
1. Any of the old James Bond moives with Sean Conery
2. The Breakfast Club
3. The Color Purple
4. The Godfather I and II
5. Forest Gump
6. Sixteen Candles
7. The Blues Brothers

And my addition:

Seven Cds that you could listen to over and over again without skipping any tracks.
1. Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, by Sarah McLachlin
2. Blue, by Joni Mitchell
3. The Rising, by Bruce Springsteen
4. Who’s Next, by the Who
5. Adam’s Rib, by Melanie Doane
6. Under the Table and Dreaming, DMB
7. Greatest Hits, Sheryl Crow and The Josuha Tree, by U2 (I know that makes eight, but I could not choose between them!)

Thanks for the list APL. What say the rest of you?????

Today is my day off. So much too do!

1. Check on status of on line purchases for Christmas. I dread seeing my credit card bill in January! DONE


2. Grade papers


3. Clean up house. How is it that two adults and one dog can mess up a house? DONE


4. Grade papers


5. Work on new research assignment for Sociology course


6. Grade papers


7. Purchase gift cards for niece and nephew who probably own every toy under the sun.


8. Grade papers


9. Send on line gift card to niece studying overseas DONE


10. Grade papers


11. Send Christmas cards DONE


12. Grade papers


13. Finish laundry


14. Grade papers


15. Make arrangements for the Boy to go to the Doggie Hotel and Spa when Husband and I go to Redneckville for the holidays DONE


16. Grade papers


17. Purchase final gift for Secret Santa DONE


18. Grade papers


19. Stock up on wine and whiskey. Necessary for grading DONE


20. Grade papers

Check out New Kid the Hallway’s Teaching Carnival. This is a marvelous compilation of all the things that I and several of my blog friends have shared, confessed and bitched about this semester. A must read for all!

Thanks to New Kid in the Hallway for all your hard work!

I finished my last class today. Now I am beginning the awesome task of grading papers. If you don’t hear from me, send in reinforcements!

Astroprof wrote about some of the things that he heard his students say this week. So I decided to add my own.

Student 1: (Rushing in at 8:30 AM). I need to finish typing my paper.

SS: Then why are you’re here talking to me? Go!!!!

Student 2: Do I have to turn in a Works Cited page?

SS: What do you think?

Student 3: Am I going to pass this course?

SS: Well, you have all you papers with grades on them. What do you think?

It’s only 2:00. Sigh.

PS: For some reason, my template is AFU. Does anyone know WTF is up?

But I fear, I have nothing to give
And I have so much to lose...
Fear, by Sarah McLachlin
Written by Sarah McLachin. From Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, Arista (1994).

My law students are doing oral presentations of their research papers. I added this component to the course requirements because of the numerous cut and paste jobs that I received. I don't think the students really understand what they are researching. They are given the project assignment early in the semester and must turn in different parts during the course of the semester. They get credit for turning in their work, even if there are mistakes. They receive feedback and are encouraged to check in with me on their progress.

Granted, some people find getting up in front of a group of people terrifying. I can appreciate that. I don't think many people are born great public speakers. It is definitely something that is developed and improved over time. But many of my students freak out when they hear the words "Oral Presentation", despite the fact that many of them take a course in oral presentation prior to or in conjunction with my class.

Many of the presentations were poor. It was clear that many of them did not understand the topic they researched. One student chomped on gum like a cow chewing grass. Another mumbled the entire time. It was a sad site.

There were two students in the back of the room who were talking during the other student's presentations. I had asked them twice to be quiet. On their third infraction, I told the chattier of the two that she was next.

Student: I am not going to do my speech.

SS: Why not? It"s OK; I promise it will be pain free.

Student: Because I don't know it by heart.

SS: Well, that's OK. You may use note cards or glance at your paper, but you can't read directly from your paper.

Student: I just don't want to do it.

SS: Do you understand that if you do not do your presentation, you will receive no credit, zero points?

Student: Yean. I am not going to do it. You can't make me.

SS (falling back into attorney mode): OK, no one is going to force you. But I just want to confirm that you understand the consequences if you do not complete your speech today.

Student: Yeah.

What else could I say? There was no way she was going to do her presentation. And I am certainly not going to force someone to do something she does not want to do. But I don't know if the real reason why she would not do her permeation was because she was truly afraid or because she did not understand her topic. Maybe it's a little from Column A and a little from Column B.

I wonder if her fear was worth the cost.

I’ve been swimming in a sea of anarchy.
I’ve been living on coffee and nicotine.

Everyday is a Winding Road, by Sheryl Crow
From the CD Sheryl Crow, A & M (1996).

OK, maybe not nicotine, since I don’t smoke. Maybe other caffeine would be more appropriate.

Why do administrators pile on addition work at the end of the semester when they KNOW that faculty is at the end of their rope? I made the big mistake of opening my big mouth and complaining that the research requirement for Sociology was a big waste of time. The research project calls for the students to develop a plan in which they define their strengths and weakness. They are to indicate how they will change their weakness or maintain their strengths. They must back it up with research. How in the hell can one back that up with research? Read Dr. Phil?? So, the head of the Gen Ed department has asked me to come up with a new research assignment for next semester that would better suit the course outcomes. They want to implement the changes next semester, which begins in January.

Sweet merciful crap, why did I fucking open my mouth? I am not even teaching this course next semester! What the hell was I thinking? Like I have enough to do with grading, Christmas shopping and preparing to go to Redneckville USA to visit the clan. I am hefted up on coffee, taking Ambien to help me sleep (The Ambien story will be explained later) and living on take out. I have not worked out in two weeks. It’s 5 degrees outside and my joints hurt. Blah, Blah, Blah.

The morale of the story is: be careful of what you bitch about!

I have a mystery on my hands.

The research paper for my law class was due today. My students know about my zero tolerance policy regarding late work. If it is not submitted by the precise end of class, I do not want it. The assignment is considered late and the student will receive no credit.

One of my students shows up for class today and tells me that her paper is not done. So I tell her to go finish it, instead talking to me about it. I warn her that if I do not receive it by end of class, don’t bother turning it in.

We finished about 10 minutes before the scheduled end of class. Class ends at 2:25 PM. A student asked me for a copy of the blank outlines that I use in class for notes. Unfortunately, I did not have the particular outline with me. So, I ran upstairs to get a copy. I returned to the classroom and gave the outline to the student. Not seeing anyone flying down the hallway, I left to meet up with GML, whose classroom is around the corner. She was talking to a student. I left the room to give them some privacy. I checked my watch again; the time was 2:27 PM. I walked back to my room; just to be sure no one was there. Sure enough, the room was empty.

After shooting the breeze with GML for 30 minutes, I went back to the faculty area. In my mailbox was this student’s paper. Nothing indicating that it was dropped off. No note of any sort. I called the receptionist to see if she had put the paper there. She said no. I asked my colleagues who in the room if they put the paper in my box. Nope. I asked around to see if ANYONE put the paper in my box. Nada. I asked if anyone had seen this student put the paper in my box, or if she was anywhere within the vicinity of my box. Nothing. No one saw anything.

Frustrated, I checked my email. Here was a message from the student with a time stamp of 2:37 PM. It said

I tried to catch you before you left the classroom but, I was too late. I had to type the paper at school and miss the class because over the weekend my computer crashed. Thanks and I apologize for any inconvenience.

She did not mention that she put the paper in the box. And the statement about being late is somewhat vague. I sent her a message, asking her if she put the paper in my box, and if so when. I have not received a response.

So, here’s my problem. Does her message indicate that she did not hand in the paper by the end of class? Since I don’t know when she put the paper in my box, should I give her the benefit of the doubt? Or, should I be a hard ass and say too bad, so sad?

This one is a little murky, I could use some help here.

The boys from Dublin did not disappoint. What a phenomenal show! A great mix of old and new. Plus, many tributes to the late John Lennon. They did a great rendition of Instant Karma. Personal faves also included: Bullet in Blue Sky, One and 40.

Well worth the $100.00 per ticket price. Yeah, I know, it is kind of steep, but I am in this phase where there are certain artists or groups that I want to see before they die or give up touring. Unlike the Rolling Stones, who will tour until they are on life support. Or Mick stops having all these kids, thus paying an obscene amount of child support!

So that leads me to a great question for all of you. Is there any performer that you would pay any price to see? Here’s my list:

Sarah McLachlin (My absolute favorite)
Elton John (I guess he is doing a set of shows in Vegas next year, but I don’t see myself going to Vegas anytime soon.)
Paul McCartney
The Who (I know, there are only two member left, but if you have ever seen them live, you will understand.)
Joni Mitchell

What say you?

I am going to see the guys who sing this song tonight! I have been a fan since the days when one could only hear them on college radio stations.

Woohoo!!!!!!!!

Only one student out of eight showed up for my 8:30 AM Critical Thinking class. This always happens when an assignment is due. I asked the lone student if she had an essay to turn in.

Student: I don't have an essay done.

SS: Well, it is not due until the end of class, so you have an hour and 15 minutes to put something down on paper.

Student: I am not going to turn one in.

SS: You have only turned in one assignment all semester. You realize that you are going to fail my class, don't you?

Student: I don't care. I am just here to get credit for attendance. My advisor said that as long as I keep attending class, I will get a grade. If I stop attending, I will get a withdrawal with failure and I will be responsible for the student loan debt in a few months.

Side note: At my college, we actually have to take attendance. Students have to sign in on an attendance sheet. They can sign in whenever they want, so long as it is during the scheduled class time. Sometimes students come to class, sign in and leave. Others walk in with two minutes left and sign in. In either case, they are considered present. Furthermore, a student receives a withdrawal with failure if they miss a certain number of classes.

And now, back to our story.

Student: I hate this school anyway. The teachers don't know nothing I am going to transfer to Public Community College.

SS: How so? (This should be interesting)

Student: Why do I have to study Critical Thinking? How is that going to help me start a business? I don't need no one telling me how to think. I am a thinking person. Plus, I don't like how you teachers make me write stuff. All my teachers want me to write stuff.

SS: Well, if you were paying attention throughout the course of the semester, critical thinking is also about problem solving. In business, you will confront with many different issues and problems that require problem solving skills...

Student (interrupting): That don't make no sense. Why can't they just tell what I need to do to start a business? At my last school, they took us on field trips and stuff. This stuff ain't helping me. These classes are boring. Nobody wants to help me.

SS: Well, why haven't you sought help, if you are having problems?

Student: Why should I? They should have taught it to me the first time. I just decided not to do the work anymore.

SS (getting very annoyed): And whose fault is that?

Student: I don't think I have a problem. The teachers here don't know how to teach.

WTF!!!!!!! And this girl got her education degree from...(and no, the one that she found at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box does not count!) It took every ounce of strength for me not to bitch slap this little witch. I was so pissed off at her that I told her that there was no use in her staying for the rest of the class. So, she signed the attendance sheet and left. I really wanted to tell her to not let the door hit her in ass on the way out.

I am still burning about this one. Some of it has to do with the audacity of this girl to suggest that she knew better, but mostly it is because of how the students view the faculty. We have no power or authority in the classroom. The students know this. Even if I wanted to kick this girl out, I can't. The HMFICs would tell me not to let the door hit me in the ass.

Somebody save me!!!!!!!!

PS: Today is the 25th aniversery of the death of John Lennon. RIP.

Today, I returned my Survey of Law students' rough drafts of their research paper. Their papers were so pitiful. I got a headache just reading them. Their errors blew me away. Needless to say, the papers were swimming in a sea of red. I think I wore out my red pen.

Here is a list of the top five most common errors brought you from the home office in Lake Effect Snow Central, USA.

5. The spelling of the following words:

2. Failure to cite sources within the body of their paper using proper MLA format or only citing quotations (tie) ,

I took the day off today. I think I just needed the rest. So, I relaxed on the couch with my electric blanket to help the joints. The Boy tried to help, resting his head next to me to keep me company. Husband brought home Boston Market for dinner and took care of things around the house. I am so lucky to have both of then.

Things are going a little better. It doesn’t hurt as much. On a scale from 1-10, my pain level is a 6. Yesterday, it was an 8. Normally, it’s about a 2 or 3. Typing still hurts a little, but I am able to grade rough drafts, thanks to Dr. Grips pens. They are fat and have cushioning, which makes it easier on the hands.

Thanks to all for the kind words of encouragement. It makes a huge difference!

I hurt today.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation of the joints. It can also cause inflammation of the tissue around the joints, as well as other organs in the body. Autoimmune diseases are illnesses which occur when the body tissues are mistakenly attacked by its own immune system. So, I have pain in my hands, fingers, elbows, hips, knees, ankles and toes. My fingers are slightly swollen and I am very fatigued. There is no cure, but the hope is that through treatment, i.e. medication, there will be little destruction to my joints.

I have battled this disease for almost seven years. For the first three years, the doctors did not know what was wrong with me. Blood test used to help diagnose this disease would end up negative. After many tests and a trip to the Cleveland Clinic, I was diagnosed in 2001. Since then, it has been a constant battle to stay healthy.

RA is an insidious disease. Three are times when I am in remission and I feel like I can do anything. Then there are times, like today, where I feel 90 years old. To look at me, one would think I am a healthy person. But when the disease flares, it’s like I am someone else. Physically, I have difficulty walking, holding things, and doing everyday tasks like brushing my hair. I feel exhausted and brain dead, like I am walking around in a fog. It has taken a toll on me psychologically. The constant back and forth with remission and flare is frustrating. Also, I have been forced to give up many things that I once loved, because the nature of this disease will not allow me to continue doing them. Managing a chromic disease like this has lead to serious bouts of depression.

So, I will rest now and hope that this flare will pass.

Ok, so I think I got all the "friends" back on the list. If I forgot anyone, let me know.

Is Monday over yet????

Somehow, my blog temple was AFU and I lost all of my links. Now I have to find all of my friends and link them again.

God, I hate Mondays.....

Lifted from Angry Pregnant Lawyer's page. Click on Songs to link to her page.

1. What 3 albums would you take on a road trip, if music was the only companionship you had?

Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, Sarah McLachlin
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John
Who's Next, The Who

2. You are in the worst. Mood. Ever. Name three songs that would cheer you up.

Rapper's Delight, the Sugar Hill Gang
All Jacked Up, Gretchen Wilson
My Give a Damn is Busted, JoDee Messina

3. Your in-laws just called. (First off, that never happens. It's my crazy family that won't leave us alone, God love 'em.) They are in town unexpectedly and want to drop by for coffee in an hour. The house is a mess. Which three albums have enough energy to pump you up for the task?

Who Are You?, The Who
Crazy Train, Ozzy Osborne
Bohemia Rhapsody, Queen

4. Name 3 songs you loved from high school. (I loved a bajillion, but here are the first 3 that came to mind.)

Our Lips are Sealed, The Go-Go's
Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen
Purple Rain, Prince

5. Name 3 songs that make you think of your childhood. (Again, these were the first 3 that came to mind.

Easy, The Commodores (My father used to sing this all the time)
Hotel California, The Eagles
Midnight Train to Georgia, Gladys Knight and the Pips

6. The kid is in bed. Your partner is elsewhere. You have a bottle of wine/pot of tea/case of beer, a great book, and the evening to yourself. What 3 albums are playing in the background?

Afterglow, Sarah McLachlin
The Girl in the Other Room, Diana Krall
Under the Table and Dreaming, Dave Mathews Band

7. Name one new (2005) song, CD, or band that you've "discovered."

I am not into the new music scene, but I do like "Wildflower" by Sheryl Crow. Not your typical commercial pop crap.

8. Name 3 songs that make you weepy.

Departure Bay, Diana Krall
Blue, Joni Mitchell
Imagine, John Lennon

9. What song would be your theme song?

I'm Still Standing, by Elton John

Who are you? ‘Cause I really want to know.
Who Are You, by the Who
Written by Pete Townsand, From the album Who Are You?, MCA (1978).

A reader asked me to contact him or her to see if we teach at the same or similar college. I decided against it. Why? Because I want to maintain my anonymity. If I were to reveal my true identity, I am not sure if I would be as open with my thoughts and comments. We are more candid when we have our identity masked by our blogger name. There is some security in that. (Of course if someone wanted to find out someone’s blog identity, I am sure they could).

When I first began to blog, I told a few colleagues about it. Word got around about my commentaries. A colleague began to post some nasty things about me, personally and professionally. So I had to end that blog. Of course I began blogging again, but with several caveats to protect my identity.

Some people do not look fondly on the blogging experience or understand why people blog. New Kid in the Hallway recently blogged about the pitfalls of ‘coming out” as a blogger. They tend to confuse it with keeping a journal. I have kept a journal on and off for most of my like. A journal is a place to chronicle your most personal thoughts that you would never share with ANYONE. Bloggong is different. Blogs allow us to share our personal thoughts, but with a community who shares those thoughts or experiences.

Blogging has become an outlet for me. I can share, complain or discuss things with people who have similar experiences. Sometimes I feel vindicated when I read a post or a comment which confirms that I am not the only one out there. There are times where I gain a new perspective on certain issues, or someone challenges my line of thinking. I have met some wonderful and interesting people through blogging.

So, I think I will keep my secret.

I need just a little more silence. I need just a little more time.
Time, by Sarah McLachlin.
Written by Sarah McLachlin. From the CD Afterglow, Arista (2003).

That seems to be echoing in the Blogger world lately. Everyone is drowning in a sea of papers, questions, emails and other monotonous administrative crap that is thrown in for shits and giggles.

I begin every semester with good intentions. I vow that I am not going to allow myself to get behind in grading or other projects. But honestly, who the hell am I kidding? No amount of careful planning can avoid the overwhelming feeling that seems to control at this time of the year. The usual solution is that I push myself to the point of insanity to finish something on time. It’s a guilt thing, I guess.

With two weeks left in the semester, I just don’t have it in me. What makes it worse is that it does not get any easier. We keep building up to this massive crescendo of final projects and exams that leads to the final grade. My college does not give the faculty a huge amount of time to submit final grades. They are due at the end of exam week. So, I try to have all of my assignments and projects due the week prior. Unfortunately, it is a colossal undertaking where I chug coffee, deprive myself sleep and become an evil bitch with a red pen. All because there just is not enough time.

I’d clone myself, but I would not have time for the surgery!

It's a sad, sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd.
Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John
Written by Elton John and Bernie Tauplin. From the album Blue Moves, MCA (1976)

Today was just one of those days where I just did not feel like teaching. My law students were supposed to submit a rough draft of their research paper. Only two students out of 15 submitted their drafts. I give them credit for submitting the draft, even if there are mistakes. I want them to make their mistakes now. That way I am not reading a ton of garbage later. So I sent them away. I told them that they had until Monday to submit their drafts. But honestly, I just can't deal with them anymore.

I have been teaching for two years now. And for the first time, I feel disillusioned. I think the reason is that at my college, the instructors have lost their authority. The HMFICs have instituted policies that are better suited for a high school than a college. The students know this, and they feed from it. If a student is disrespectful to an instructor, that instructor is powerless to do anything. If she does, that student immediately runs to one of the HMFICs and bitches and moans until the student gets his or her way. And instructors are left to deal with the carnage.As instructors, we are told that this is in the name of retention. Gah, I hate that word with a passion. At the end of the day, that is all that really matters, at least to the HMFICs. But what does it really mean? Warm bodies no matter what the cost?

Husband says that I am fighting a losing battle. He thinks that I should not waste my energy on convincing those in power that the system is screwed up.

I guess I will end this entry with another quote:

Will a change come while we’re waiting? Everyone is waiting…
Witness by Sarah McLachlin
Written by Sarah McLachlin. From the CD Surfacing, Arista (1996).

“We’ve all gone crazy lately. My friends out there are rolling ‘round the basement floor.”
Someone Save My Life Tonight by Elton John
Written by Elton John and Bernie Tauplin. From the album Blue Moves, MCA (1976).

It seems that all of us in academic land have fallen into the fiery cauldron of hell. It’s that time of year where we are bombarded with student emails, questions and demands. There are the students who disappear for most of the semester without any word as to their whereabouts. Were they abducted by aliens? Did they come down with some mysterious disease, like the Bird Flu? Who knows? But they suddenly reappear and expect you to help them catch up on their work.

Then there is the barrage of questions. You know the ones. When is the paper due? What chapters are on the final? Is this going to be on the test? When are your office hours? You answered them at least 100 times already, but for some reason, it just does not register in the student’s gray matter. It seems the words “syllabus” and “tracking calendar” means nothing.

It has gotten to the point where I even try to sneak out so that my students will not see me. I am at the point where I just don’t want to deal with the questions, begging and whining. I am thinking about limiting my availability to just my scheduled office hours. But then there is that voice in my head that whispers “No, it’s all about retention. You have to be there for your students.”

Blah! Maybe the voices should deal with the students instead of me.

I stopped by to visit GML’s class after my law class ended. She is teaching Sociology for the first time, so I have tried to help her fumble through the chaos. It is not an easy class to teach because of the high number of first term students. When I got to her classroom, I could see smoke coming out of her ears. Her face was flushed red.

So I asked the obvious. “What’s wrong?”
GML responded “These little f%$@ers are so damn disrespectful!!!"

Now, I know it’s bad, because GML does not normally drop the F bomb like that. (Unlike yours truly who cusses up a storm, including F bombs) GML began to tell me how one of her students, sitting in the back of the classroom with her head on the desk for about half of the lecture, stands up and walks out of the class. As she passes GML on her way out, this lovely young lady says. “This class is so f@$%king boring.” Before GML could say anything, the student slammed the door and took off like she was being chased by the police.

There seems to be a lack of home training among many of the students at my college. By home training, I mean manners. And I do not think it is limited to just my school. We have become very indecorous and ill mannered society. Everywhere you look, people are rude and nasty toward each other. Some of the news footage from Black Friday is a great example.

So how we change a society that is increasingly disrespectful? I haven’t a clue. If I did, I would sell it and retire to Tahiti. But, I guess you have to pick your battles. So for GML, her solution is that she will have the last word. After all, GML controls the red pen.

Now that’s power!

Ok, so it’s a little late, but here goes

I am thankful for….

The fact that I am here, semi healthy and somewhat sane.

My wonderful and beautiful husband. He is my soul mate, my best friend and my rock. If cloning of humans is possible, I would give all my friends a clone of him.

The Boy. He is the delimitation of loving loyalty.

My family. Even though we are estranged….

My friends. Special shout out to: GML: my partner in crime, cell mate in college professor prison and the only one who keeps me honest about working out. Piggy-G: my best friend since the seventh grade. The one person, other than my husband, who really knows me. Divorce Lady: my connection to my past life and always up for Applebee's!!

My new blog friends. You guys are the best!!!!!

My job. Compared to practicing law, it’s not so bad.

The Good: Thanksgiving Day

Good food and good wine. I cooked a lovely turkey breast brushed with olive oil and seasonings, smashed potatoes with garlic and chives, herb stuffing, corn, and cranberries. For dessert, sweet potato pie with whipped cream. And of course, lots of wine.

I had been feeling the effects of a cold coming on since Wednesday. But I felt fine on Thursday, so I guess my mind over matter mantra of “I am not getting sick” must have worked.

The Bad: Friday, The Day After

I spoke too soon.

I was SOOOOO sick. Intestines churned. Gears reversed. Temperature of 100 degrees. Slept on the couch all day.

Daytime TV totally sucks. Listened to Fox New Channel all day.

Husband had to work. Came home at 6 PM with the same symptoms. He told me that people at work have the same symptoms. Great. Now I know who to blame.

The Too Cute: Saturday

It snowed a foot in my neck of the woods overnight. It is so beautiful outside. It looks like an Ansel Adams photograph.

The Boy’s alter ego, Snow Dog, made an appearance. When I let him out this morning, he dive bombed into the snow and began to roll around. He was barking and chasing the snow flurries. I wish there was film in my camera.

I am feeling somewhat human. Hopefully things will get better.

It looks like the trip to Redneckville, USA is cancelled. We are expected between one and two FEET of snow. Plus, Husband informed me that he will have to work on Friday and Saturday, because there is a major glitch in Big Project. So we are having turkey and all the trimmings at home. I am looking forward to it. I love to cook and can make a great turkey.

So, no worries about the Boy. He will be enjoying the holiday at home. Thanks to all who posted their opinions. The majority of posts indicated that the Boy should go to the kennel. I really appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I have a better perspective about the issue. With all the chaos of the holidays, he is probably better off at the “doggie spa”. I also do not want to make anyone uncomfortable or resentful of me or the Boy.

I am going to relax over the next couple of days. I do have some papers to grade, but I think I hold off on that until Sunday. I refuse to go shopping on Black Friday. That is the one day of the year where I avoid the mall like the plague. The last place I want to be is in a crowded mall dealing with people fighting over parking spaces or the latest hot ticket item.

To all of you out there is blog-land, have a safe and happy Thanksgiving! And to my academic mates, get plenty of rest because all hell will break loose next week!

Only seven out of 26 students showed up for my Sociology class today. Why so many absences? The students had an essay due today, which was assigned a week ago. Many showed up to class and said

“My essay is done, it’s just not typed.”

Excuse me, but if the essay is not typed, IT IS NOT DONE!

Dr. Crazy and Astroprof talked recently about the problem of accepting late assginments. I have a zero tolerance policy for late work. If I do not have the assignment by the end of class, the student gets no credit. The policy is stated in my syllabus and on each assignment. Of course, I give the students option if they cannot make it to class. They have both my school and home email. They can give it to someone to turn in. If the student is so ill or in a serious emergency, and can provide documentation, I will cut them a break.

When I started as an adjunct, I would accept late work. I tried deducting points, giving amnesty and many other means to get them to turn in work. It was driving me crazy. So, in January, I instituted the zero tolerance policy. Many students did not think I would hold the boundary, but I did. When the first deadline passed, and students tried to turn in late work, they were stunned. They cried, begged, cussed me out and one student threatened me. Some even complained to the Dean. To the student’s surprise, the Dean backed me up 100%. Since implementing this policy, I found that my students understand that a deadline is a deadline. It has also made my life easier. I am no longer chasing students at the end of the semester for back work. And, I am not bombarded with a ton of back work to grade at the end of semester.

I don’t think many students understand that there are consequences outside of their own world. Many of my students fail to see how their actions affect those around them. If they do not submit an assignment on time, it put me behind in my grading. If I am behind in my grading, I may not be able to submit my grades on time. If I don’t submit my grades on time, then the Dean has to explain to her superior why the grades for my classes are not complete. It’s a circular thing.

One more day until Thanksgiving.....

PS: Two votes against the Boy, One vote for the Boy. See my post about Dates and Dogs. I am still taking votes.

I had a date night with Husband. He is under the gun, working on a project for Big Software Company. So, we decided to take a break and catch a movie and dinner. We saw “Walk the Line” , which is about Johnny Cash. Phenomenal movie. A definite must see. Dinner was Mexican: Margaritas and quesadillas. Delish!

Back to the grind tomorrow. Only a three day week. Attendance will slowly dwindle by Wednesday. Thursday, Husband and I will enjoy Thanksgiving together. Friday, it’s off to Redneckville to visit the family. At least we grew up in the same town, so no arguing over whose family to visit. But the Boy has to go to the kennel. Mom is not allowed to have pet at her place. In-Laws refuse to let the Boy stay, despite the fact that he is crate trained and more obedient than most children. Our niece and nephew will be there and they are deathly afraid of dogs. Not because they had a bad experience, but because they have never been exposed to them. They are four and five. There are two things that children should not be afraid of: water and dogs.

I think I should be allowed to bring the Boy. He is very sweet and excellent with children. I am training him to be a therapy dog, so he is used to being handled.

My motto is: love me, love my dog. What do you think? I would love to hear from both human parents and dog parents.

After trying on about 20 pairs of jeans, I finally hit jeans nirvana. Check it out

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=158853&CategoryID=8348


Yeah, they are a little pricy, but thank God for store coupons!

Unlike some of my blog-mate, I enjoy shopping. But there are two thing that I HATE to shop for; swimwear and jeans. Shopping for swimwear is an exercise in futility. There is nothing redeeming about it, no mater what size or shape you are.

Jeans come in a close second. I am 5’ 4’’, on a good day. I have a small waist and some junk in the trunk. So jeans are either too big in the waist, too tight in the hips, or too long. . I can try on 20 pairs and still not find that perfect fit. Also, I hate the whole low rise thing. Low rise jeans have contributed to America’s growing crack problem. Then there is the dreaded “Mom-Jean”. If you don’t know about the mom jean, you are probably wearing them right now!

The other day, Oprah had a jeans intervention with Stacey for TLC’s “What Not to Wear”. She had some great suggestions for those of us who would rather go to the dentist that shop for jeans.

Check it out: http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200511/tows_past_20051115_b.jhtml

Wish me luck!

Cynical Professor has decided to end her blog. Pity. I enjoyed her “cynical” posts. Cheers CP and best of luck.

Today, we had snow in my neck of the woods. I'm not talking about a dusting. I’m talking accumulation here. Winter is at our throats again.

I am almost out of wine. Drag.

Sigh.

Reading posts from ProfGrrr and Blithering Moron made me think about my former career. Before I re-entered the academic world, I was an attorney. I practiced in small firms, large firms and ultimately had my own practice. But after several years, I became cynical and jaded at the people seeking representation and the profession as a whole. So, I decided to walk away from the whole thing. There were other reasons, like my health which contributed to my decision. Many of my lawyer friends thought I was insane. How could I give up practicing law after all the hell I went through to become a member of the bar? It was easy. I love the law. The problem is I do not love what it has become.

The tiny bit of idealist in me always believed that the purpose of the law is helping those in need. But the reality is that law is an ugly business. No one hires an attorney because they are happy about a situation. It’s about two things: power and money. People in the US are very litigation happy. If you stub your toe, you want to sue. If you can’t control your finances because you have no fiscal responsibility, you file bankruptcy. If you spill hot coffee on you lap, you get paid. If your ex is one minute late in returning the kids from visitation, you run to court to strip him of his visitation. I have a million stories I could tell, but that would violate attorney-client privilege.

The profession is no better. Look at daytime TV. Every other commercial is some lawyer telling you how if you were exposed to X, you could receive big money. As a result of looser restrictions on attorney advertisements, many people think that they can get rich. I teach a Survey of Law course, and many of my students feel this way. There first line of defense in any situation is SUE THE BASTARDS!

Attorneys are extremely cut-throat when it comes to dealing with their peers. When I graduated from law school, our faculty speaker reminded us to be civil to our opposition. We should be zealous advocates in the courtroom, but at the end of the day, you should be able have a beer with your opposition. In my tenure, I have seen a viciousness and nastiness that is normally reserved for animals in the wild.

Don’t get me wrong. I have represented many wonderful people who really needed my help. I often represented people who did not qualify for free legal assistance and could not afford the high retainers that some lawyers charge. Many of them truly appreciated my help. I am thankful that I have the skill and expertise to help those who truly need it. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Do I miss it? Sometimes. I still keep my license in active status, because you never know…..

And I do believe that sharks avoid eating lawyers!

"And everywhere you turn, there are vultures and thieves at your back."
Angel, by Sarah McLachlin
From the CD Surfacing, Arista (1996).

It's that time of year when I feel less than human and more like a piece of road kill waiting for the vultures to swoop down and devour. OK, I am being a bit dramatic. But the truth is, my students pounce on me before I can get my coat off in the morning. It's like I am wearing a tracking device. Here is a typical conversation at 8:15 AM

Student One: "Professor, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU NOW!"
Me: "I no function well coffee without."
Student One: "But it is SOOOO important."
Me: "Office hours."

{15 paces later)

Student Two: "Ain't that bibliography due today?"
Me: Uh, yeah."
Student Two: "Well, mine ain't done." "Can I turn it in late?"
Me: No response, but I give the student a stare that
could freeze hydrogen.

(Almost at the faculty room)

Student Three: "Please Miss, I have a problem!"
Me: I growl like Marge Simpson
Student Three: "Oh, am I bothering you?""Well I just wanted to know what I missed yesterday."
Me: Growling louder
Student Three: "I'll check with you later."

(Checking my mailbox)

Loudspeaker: "Professor, please call the switchboard!"

(I call the switchboard)

Receptionitst: "Student Four and Five need to speak with you."
Me: "GRRRRRR!"

Anyone have any ideas for a disguise???

“It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep form going under.” The Message by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
From Message from the Beat Street, Rino/Wea (1994).
It’s Monday…

One student showed up on time for Critical Thinking, which begins at 8:30. After waiting five minutes, I began my lecture. Students began to trickle in around 9:00, with the last arriving at 9:30. The class ends at 9:45. All the late arrivals asked me the same question. “Did I miss anything?”

Later, I had to meet with the Dean. She just happened to schedule the meeting at the same time that I have office hours. I have students crying for my attention. Instead, I have sit with a few other prisoners and explain where my assessments fit with respect to Bloom’s Taxonomy. Sweet merciful crap, I got students harassing and stalking me for help, and now they have ammo for not doing well.

Then it was off to cover an English class for LN. Subbing sucks, except for the fact that I get paid for it. (See my post “Grow Up”) I posted the assignments on the board, took attendance and collected homework. The assignments were to be completed in class, but some students decided to take the day off. All but five walked out of the class. I do not recall saying that the students could leave. Maybe they have difficulty with the English language.

My afternoon was not as bad. My law class does give me too much grief. I do have one student who bombarded me with emails all weekend, wanting to know if I had graded his exam yet. I do not give out grades via email and my students know this. Just to torture him, I waited until the end of class to return the exams. Next exam, I am going to block his email address.

GML just retuned from her extended stay on the sunny beaches of Jamaica, where she was studying the effects of relaxation and alcohol on the overworked college professor. She told me that one of her Sociology students walked into class five minutes before the end of the lecture and asked “So, what did I miss?”

Is there any way to get immunity on this island?

Ah, Friday. No classes and it’s a holiday. The Boy let me sleep in until 9:00 this morning. Usually, his mission is to wake me up so that he can sleep downstairs! If he senses any signs of movement, he is trotting around the bed, whining to get my attention. If that does not work, he will jump in the bed and try to move me. There is nothing like a 70 pound German Shepard who thinks he is a lap dog!

I have not figured out what the plan is for today. Husband has to work today. It’s nice that no one is here. It is relatively quite, with the exception of the occasional barking fits from the Boy because he sees a squirrel in the backyard and he feels the need to give chase.

I guess I better take advantage of the time. There are five weeks left in the semester, and all hell will break loose after Thanksgiving.

Just a side note on Veteran’s Day, No matter what your opinion is about the war, take some time to give props to our men and women who serve our country.

Today, I was able to leave after my last class! I was able to sneak out before I could hear the piercing sound of my name followed by “I need to talk to you…NOW!” Husband and I went out to lunch to our favorite lunch site. There is this Indian restaurant that has an awesome lunch buffet. So we relaxed and indulged ourselves before he had to return to work.

So, I am going to curl up on my couch with the Boy and take a well deserved nap! Tomorrow is Friday, and I don’t have any classes! Woohoo!!!!

At my college, we are not allowed to cancel a class. We actually have to have someone act as a substitute teacher. Excuse me, but I thought this was college. Granted, you do get paid for your time, but like I said, THIS IS COLLEGE!!! I am coving GML's Keyboarding class. For an hour and thirty minutes, I have to sit here and listen to the students clap away on the computer. I have finished all of my grading, scanned the Internet, and now I am bitching on my blog.

The administration at my college treats the students like they are in elementary school This week is registration for the Winter semester. Some of the faculty, including yours truly, were informed that we are required to end our classes 10 minutes early, so that we can escort our students to the registration area. WTF is up with that!!! I flat out refuse to do this. If my students are not smart enough to know when to register for class, they should not be here in the first place. Plus, I am giving a test in my Law course. My tests usually take up the entire class period. If I short change my students, there will be hell to pay.


I am ready to find another job at a different college!

I always get a kick out of the people I encounter on the subway. Today was no exception. The subway system runs above ground in the downtown area of my city. So when one boards, you are outside braving the elements.

As I took my seat, a woman in her 50’s began screaming at the top of her lungs and hitting the seat next to her with her cane. I looked up to see a bird flapping around. She took a good swing at it, which caused it to take flight in the subway car. Now, everyone is screaming and slapping at this poor bird. One would have thought that these people had just seen “The Birds’ and just lost their minds. It’s a bird for crying out loud. The worst thing that it could do is crap on your head. Finally, the poor creature landed near the door and a woman gently pushed it out. People were actually threatening to sue the transportation authority for stress!

Now I remember why I sometimes love animals more than people. And why I am no longer practicing law.

Today, we had our monthly faculty meeting. On the docket was the issue of using the “D” grade. At my college, we do not give a grade of “D”. The HMFICs wanted our input as to whether the faculty should be allowed to use “D” as a grade. (FYI: HMFIC = Head M.F. In Charge)

Every semester, I am faced with the dilemma of what to do with the student who falls in the traditional “D” range. I can’t justify pushing him over to a “C” when he has not completed “C” work. And I can’t justify giving an “F” when I know that he is trying his best. Why should someone fall below “C” level if that person is putting forth the effort? (Pun intended!)

But if I am allowed to give a “D” grade, does that mean that my students will just do the bare minimum in order to just pass? And what courses will be affected? I do not believe that students should be allowed to receive a grade of “D” in their major. That is not acceptable. But should the same be said for the General Education courses? I teach both major and Gen Ed courses. I expect my students to work hard and do their best, regardless of the course. So by allowing “D” grades, am I telling my students to strive for less?

I would love some input on this one!

The weekend was relaxing. I even got to watch some mindless TV, something I don’t normally do. TV Land was showing the sitcom “What’s Happening”. I loved that show as a kid. The Simpsons and Family Guy were absolutely hilarious! I would love to find a download of the FCC song from Family Guy! Plus, I actually cooked a meal for the first time in a week. My husband, who also cooks, has been stressed out with his job. We have been living on take out! Both of us, and our waistlines, are relieved! The Boy is also happy that he had a chance to play with his mom. The Boy is my five year old German Shepard.

So it’s back to the grind. I finally finished all of my midterm grades. They are late, but they are done. But that seems to be par for the course. My fellow faculty members look like they played four quarters of football…as the football! Thank God this semester is almost over!

My colleague and partner in crime at our college, GML, is in Jamaica this week. (Bitch!!!! No, it’s ok GML, I ‘m not mad at you, LOL) But the thought of basking on the beach with a frozen margarita sounds heavenly!

Maybe I’ll just play some Jimmy Buffett and rev up the blender!

It’s amazing what brunch, a trip to the chiropractor, and a long nap will do for the soul. All I need now is some retail therapy! I am so thankful that I do not teach any classes on Fridays. I don’t think I would have made it to today.

I think we often forget the importance of self care. I am one of those insanely driven people who will work until near collapse. I have been like that for as long as I can remember. It seemed to become worse doing my law school days. (Yes, in a previous life, I was a member of the evil profession!) Unfortunately, all this drive gave me was an autoimmune disease, migraines and the occasional panic attack.

I decided that I would give myself a break for a day or two. Go underground, if you will. I am just going to kick back and relax. Watch movies, listen to music, shop etc… My husband and my five year old have felt neglected this week. (FYI: my five year old is a German Shepard!) Sunday, I will be ready to face the world again.

I have been reading some of the other blogs out there. Dr. Crazy and Dean Dad really spoke to me. It seems like all of us, at one time or another; need someone to talk us down from the edge. Thanks to the two of you for your commentaries.

See you on the other side….

I decided to allow my Critical Thinking classes to make correction on their midterm essays for partial credit. But I did ream them out about the whole citation issue. A couple of students looked me dead in the face and said “You mean I have to document my sources in the body of the paper and at the end?” I was amazed. My response was “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Normally, I would not drop the “F” bomb like that, but I was at the end of my rope. These are second and third semester students. All of them have taken Composition and Research and Library Skills, where MLA guidelines are pounded into their heads. Plus, I reviewed those concepts when I gave out the midterm, just in case. I even remind them of the wonderful tutorial services that are available. I told them that they could see me during office hours or set up an appointment and I would review their work. Do they take advantage of any of this?

So, I dismissed class and told them to use the time to work on their corrections. Later, I sat down to read essays from my Sociology class. Same shit, different class. After two hours, I just gave up. I went home and fell asleep on my couch.

Like the song says “My Give a Damn is Busted.”

I am halfway through the midterm grading process. My brain is fired.

I teach a course in Critical Thinking. Of the 10 students in my class, six failed the midterm, one received a “B” and rest did not even bother to submit it. The exam was a take home essay in which the student was to brainstorm possible solutions to a complex problem. They were asked to provide research to support their ideas. What I noticed is either they do not provide any information to back up their position, or they refuse to follow proper citation form. Some neglect to submit a Works Cited page.

What totally chaps my ass is that these concepts have been drilled into their heads. Every instructor requires proper MLA citation form. But they STILL refuse to do it! Sometime I wonder if they hear me. It’s like that episode of the Simpsons, where Bart is trying to train his dog. Everything from the dog’s perspective is “Blah, Blah, Blah.” I think my students are doing the same thing. No matter what I say, it does not register in the gray matter.

I am angry and frustrated. Does anyone else out there have this problem?

Shout out to Cynical Professor: Hope to hear from you soon.

Help!!!! I am drowning in a sea of midterm exams! My head hurts. My vision is blurry. And if I read one more essay with incomplete sentences, poor grammar and plagiarized resources, I am going to need one of those white coats with the arms that tie in the back! Who says you can’t wear white after Labor Day?

I need sleep.
I need a stiff drink. (One of my colleagues suggested Red Bull with vodka)
I need a vacation. (Shout out to GML: While you are basking in sunny Jamaica, I will be drowning in a sea of insanity!)