The Waiting Room

I sent my client a very forceful email stating that she must comply with the order regarding visitation, or her ex can drag us into court and we would not have a leg to stand on. It definitely worked because I got an email this morning indicating that there had been a "misunderstanding" and that the child would visit with his dad this weekend.

It's funny how email can be powerful. Was it the tone in my message that made her comply? I used some strong language in order to emphasize the seriousness of the issue.

Husband told me that he got his ass handed to him yesterday by his boss for not following protocol on a particular aspect of a project. (In Husband's defense, there was no other way to solve the particular problem but to do what he did). Husband said that he could "hear" his boss's voice as he read the message. He said that he would rather had his boss chew him out in person, rather than through email.

Is the written word really that powerful? At least when someone is chewing you out in person, you can try to mentally escape or pull a Homer Simpson and just blink like you have no clue. But, you may still hear that voice in your head after your ass has been handed to you.

Then again, how is it that we can "hear" the person's voice when we read a message and "know" that that person is angry?

I don't know. But at least I got the result I wanted.

I just received an email from opposing counsel in my divorce case. It appears that my client will not allow her ex to visit with their child, despite a court order allowing visitation. At our last appearance, we agreed to specific dates and times. We are on the eve of the first visitation and my client is saying no. Plus, she will not let the paternal grandparents visit, something that was also in the order.

I tried to contact her. She is not answering her phone. I sent her an email too. No response yet.

So, if she does not comply, her ex can drag her int court and the judge can force her to comply. Plus, she will be responsible for his attorney's fees (and mine).

GRRR!!!!

Just another reminder as to WHY I no longer practice law.

While many of my friends in blogland are dealing with the joy and pain of the beginning of the fall term, yours truly is still on break. The summer session ended two weeks ago. My college does not start the fall term for another two weeks. (In my defense, we run a trimester system and complete three 15 weeks session in a year).

Usually, I am bouncing off walls, itching to get back into the school routine. I am one of those people who gets bored rather quickly. I get stir crazy when I am stuck at home or unengaged for an extended period of time. But this year, I am so enjoying my time off.

I think part of the reason for my relaxed state is that I only have a week between the end of the Spring semester and the beginning of the Summer semester. That is not enough time to recharge and regroup. Usually, it takes a week for me to recover from the previous semester's heinousness. So when the Summer semester starts, I hit the ground running on fumes.

The other reason is that the Wicked Witch (AKA, the Dean of Instruction) is gone. No more micro-management. No more stupid faculty meeting where we have to turn to our college and tell him or her that he or she is doing a fabulous job. No more stupid activities that require faculty to divide into pairs and discuss articles from the ERIC Digest. The college has not named a new Dean yet. So, I shouldn't be careful about getting too comfortable. The new person could be the total opposite or could be the former Dean's evil twin!

I have taken some time to work on sylabi for next semester. The email from Ding Dong student really made me think about whether my expectations are clear. Don't get me wrong. I do not think I am to blame for what that student said. But after reading that, as well as B* post about students v. kids, it makes me wonder about my expectations of my students and if I am being realistic.

So here are my questions:

1. Am I giving too many assignments, projects and other assessments that interfere with student success? (I think back to my Law School days where there was only one exam, the finial. That was it. I am not thinking going that drastic. But maybe less is more???)
2. Are my standards too restrictive? If my goal is to prepare them for the working world, should I treat them as such. (I teach at a career college, so this a big issue).
3. Should I consider every possible issue that could arise and have it covered in my syllabus. (I have been burned by that one. Something comes up that is not covered by the syllabus and the student wins because of it. Hence my syllabus is about 10 pages long).

I have not experienced any major ephiphanies yet. I guess I still have some time to figure it all out.

I am making changes to my syllabi. So far so good. I have changed the number of assignments and reworked the weight of those assignments, mostly to make my life a little easier.

But I am thinking a great deal about academic dishonesty and plagiarism. It is a huge problem at my college. I read my college's policy in the Student Handbook, and I believe it really does not have much teeth to it. It basically says that the instructor has the right to give a failing grade for the assignment determined to be plagiarized or s student is found to have cheated. But then it says little about any additional punishment, other than the student can be placed on probation, suspended or expelled.

So here's my question. Should there be more detail in the policy? I mean, it appears to me that if someone commits plagiarism or academic dishonesty, failure for the assignment is the minimum punishment. My research project is weighted in such a way that if a student fails, he or she fails the course. But, as far as tests, I think a student could actually pass, despite having cheated. So, I indicated that in addition to failure for the assignment, the guilty party will also fail the course.

Does your college's policy have some teeth in it? What's your policy?

I am curious....

Note: I wrote this post on the Active Academic. It got such a great response that I thought I would post it here too.

I am sure you have heard that 70% of women wear the wrong size bra. One's bra size fluctuates due to weight loss or gain, exercise, age, pregnancy, etc.

Since I have lost weight and lift weights, I figured it was time to see if I was one of the 70%. I went to my local JC Penny for a fitting. (They are running a Bra Fitting Event where professional fitters will assist you). When I got to the lingerie department, there were three other women there for the same thing. As we each took our turn with the fitter, we were astonished to learn that we were all wearing the wrong size.

The fitter took me into a dressing room and measured me around the top, middle of the breast and the band width. For the longest time, I thought I was a 38-40 D. Well, I am a 36C. Next, she told me what kind of bras to look for. Since I have small shoulders, I should look for straps that sit closer to the closure or try a racer back bra.

So, off I went to look at bras that I might like. Ladies, just because you get measured does not mean that you should not try a bra on. So, I tried on different brands and styles until I found a style and brand that suited me. I think I spent over an hour trying on bras. But in the end it was worth it.

The great thing is that now my clothing fits and looks better. The girls are upright and at attention. Plus, it really does make me look thinner. It really makes a different in the way I feel about myself. I want to stand up straighter and show off the new body that I am working on.

So, if you have not done so, I strongly suggest you get fitted. Plus, JC Penny is having a buy 2, get 1 free sale. Can't beat that!
(Edited to add: The buy two get one sale is over, but they do have 25% off all styles this week!)

GML sent this to me in an email. I laughed my ass off!!!

Go to Google

Type in the word 'failure'

Read the first entry. You will laugh when you see what comes up first.

Hilarious, simply hilarious!!!!

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for your kind comments and words of wisdom in dealing with my Ding Dong student. I am feeling much better about the situation, even though I still have not heard anything about what consequences, if any, the student will experience.

I am in the process of overhauling my syllabi. It will take some work, but I think I will be a better professor in the end by doing it.

I have not heard anything from the powers that be regarding the email I received from Ding Dong student. I have not responded to the email either. I am not sure if I should even dignify it with a response.

Truth is I am still really pissed off about it. In some ways, it is the straw that broke the camel's back. I am sick and tired of the students at my college and their lack of accountability and respect. I am tired of the excuses they make for failing to do what is asked and then blaming everyone but themselves for their failure. I am tired of students who don't want to do the work but expect me as an instructor to just let that slide.

I took pride in being the kind of instructor that was tough but fair and fun. I would bend over backward to help my students be successful. I would give my students every chance to do well in my courses. But, I have high standards and I expect a great deal from my students. I do this because I believe in them. Many of my students come from circumstances where no one ever expected much from them or there was a preconceived opinion about them. I want to show them that if they work hard, they will reap the reward of accomplishment and self respect.

But, I am just angry now. I don't feel like being that kind of instructor anymore. Part of me wants to just say "too bad, you are on your own" and be a total hard ass. Why should I try to be nice? What's the point of it?

Ok, I know I should not let that one email determine how I do things. But on the one hand, that email is just the pinnacle of the mountain of bullshit that I see. And I know I should take pride in the success stories that I have seen since I began teaching at my college. I have some students who are just wonderful and I am very proud of.

So why doesn't that help?

I am working on my syllabi this week (I finally finished the divorce papers for my client and I am waiting for a response from opposing counsel before I submit them for the judge's signature). I am thinking about making some major changes in the way I do things. I am not sure what exactly. Maybe some of you can give me some input.

BTW, I did get a FU response from Southern State Law School. Actually, they sent me two separate letters saying the same thing. How insulting is that?

I don't know WHY I checked my school email today. What the hell was I thinking? Anyway, Ding Dong student sent me this:

how come I didn't pass your class?? You couldn't even bother to pass me a C. I am looking a few good teachers to help me get my dam Associate's degree and some of you teachers are against me doing that and trying to succeed in life. Is there a problem meeting pay Role cost this week or what? I figured I should of passed your class with some kind of grade better than an F. I had good grades on all of my quizes.

If I could, this would be my response.

Yep, it's my fault. It's my fault that you received an "F" on your research paper, which is worth 40% of your overall grade. It's my fault that you only completed 1/3 of the homework assignments, which were worth 10% of you grade. It is totally my fault that you did not submit your work on time. After all, I had the audacity to give you a deadline. I guess I have a lot of nerve to expect my students to earn a grade rather than give them a grade.

And yes, my mission in life is to make sure that you are not successful and that you remain living in the 'hood collecting a welfare check. Yes, I am totally in this for the money, since I only make 11% per hour of what I made as an attorney. After all, that is why I left a very lucrative private law practice, so that I could shatter the dreams of disadvantaged persons. And no, I have no clue about your plight, despite the fact that I too was the first person in my family to go to college and that I have dealt with racism and sexism all of my life. There is no way I can understand.

You are right. I don't want to help you, despite having office hours and sticking around campus just to make sure students don't need me. And I guess giving out two email address does not help either. And despite my better judgment, I showed you a website which outlined your research paper topic in full detail, something you should have found on your own. But, I just don't care...right?

You are right. You deserve so much more. I just wish I knew of someone who would be willing to give it to you.

Edited to add: I have not responded to the student yet, because I am too pised off and i might say something I may regret. I sent a copy of the email to the interim Dean of Instruction. Ironically, the student used a prior email correspondence in which I gave her suggestions for her project as a means to contact me. So, there is a trail of my attempts to help her. Husband thinks the student should be expelled for sending such an email. I think suspension would be more appropirate, since her remarks were out of line, rather than threatening. What do you all think?

I just realized that this is my 300th post. Wow. I am not sure if I should have something profound to say. Maybe I will just save it for my blog birthday which will be coming up soon.

I think I need to get back in gear and start doing some real work. I have been bad when it comes to doing the things that I should do. It's like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. So far, the devil is winning.

When I get like this, I have to play mind games with myself. I tell myself "You are going to work on X project for 45 minutes. Then you can take a break and do something fun." That sometimes helps me get in gear. It's just getting started that is the hardest part.

So, off I go...

Tonight, Husband and I are taking a drive in the country and plan on dining at a quaint restaurant. No occasion, but it is a kick off to his week off from work.

As for the weekend, the Boy and I are going to a fundraiser for a local "no kill" animal shelter with GML and her dog, Blue. The Boy and Blue have become dog-buddies, which is cool because the Boy sometimes has issues with other male dogs. I still need to pick up supplies for a donation. I will probably pick those up on the way to the park. I just hope that it does not rain. The weather-guru is calling for a chance of thunderstorms.

I stayed up WAY too late last night downloading songs for a new workout play list. I am in this 80's groove right now. BTW, did any of you see Jon Bon Jovi on Larry King on Wednesday night??? In the words of GML, "He is such a beautiful man!" Note to B*, JT has NOTHING on Jon Bon!

Go here and refresh the page until you find 5 quotes that reflect who you are or what you believe. (Sorry, but I did six).

Live well. It is the greatest revenge.
The Talmud

If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
Jimmy Buffett

If someone betrays you once, it's their fault; if they betray you twice, it's your fault.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Unknown (This is going in my syllabi next semester!)

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
Ernest Hemingway

Since I have been off:

• I have slept until about 9 AM, and that's only because the Boy is herding me out of bed. Then, I take a two hour nap with the Boy in the afternoon.
• I have caught up on reading the stack of magazines that are on my coffee table. (In Style, Dog Fancy, Shape, Fitness, Real Simple and Time).
• I exercised.
• Worked in my garden. Tomatoes, peppers and basil...oh my!!!!
• Played with my vacuum.
• Played with the Boy
• Had lunch at home with Husband
• Had drinks with Divorce Lady

Things I have not done and really need to do:

• Finish Divorce from Hell paperwork
• Read textbook for Criminal Law course I am teaching in the fall
• Send nasty letter to bank for screwing up account

Shows where my priorities are right now!

I am on my mini break. I have a month off before the fall madness begins. It's funny because I am reading how some of you are prepping for the fall, while yours truly is basking in nothingness.

So what am I going to do for the next month? No clue. I have to finish the divorce from hell. I got the transcript from the hearing last week, but I was so busy with grading that I had to set it aside. So, I will finish that this week. I just posted on the Active Academic about my fitness challenges during break. Hopefully, I will keep up the progress.

I probably will not think about the fall semester for another two weeks of so. The summer session was brutal. I just want to distance myself from it for a while. I did hear from Law School Alma Mater. They are considering my application for a teaching position. They are accepting application through the end of this year, so I doubt I will hear anything anytime soon.

Husband is going to take a week off next week. He has two weeks of vacation left (He gets three). Still no word on the job front. But he says he needs some time off. I don't blame him. We are planning to just hang out at home. We are thinking about going to wine country and stock up for the fall. Gotta have plenty of wine!

So that's it. I think blogging will be pretty light during this time. But don't worry, I won't disappear.

I so want this!!

Time to start watching Ebay, since I can't justify spending that kind of money. There is no way I would pay that much for a purse!!

I am in love with this Husband and I were fighting over who was going to do the vacuuming today. I won!

I must say, it really sucks...in a good way. It has this indicator light that tells you the carpet is clean!

I must be losing my mind. I am in love with a home appliance!



Editied to add: I think the link works now. If not, go here
http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?cat=Vacuum+Cleaners+%26+Floor+Care&pid=02036932000&vertical=APPL&subcat=Upright+Vacuums& BV_UseBVCookie=Yes

Today is the first day of my summer break. I have a month off before the Fall semester. Yippie! Thanks to all of you for your messages of support!

After submitting grades yesterday, LB and I went to lunch at Applebee's. It was awesome to be done so early. In the past, the dean of instruction required us to stay on campus until our last scheduled class ended, even if we had submitted grades. Her reasoning was that faculty should be available if a student has a question. Huh? I figure when grades are submitted, that's all she wrote. But the wicked witch is dead (not physically, she got another gig.), and we have an interim dean who uses common sense.

BTW, I had apple sangria. Yummy!!!

Today, I am getting my hair straightened. My stylist is moving to Florida and today is his last day. I am hoping that he will suggest someone for me. I have seen my stylist for over 10 years. He is the only person who has mastered my naturally curly hair. Those of you curly hair girls know that that is no easy task.

After that, I am meeting GML for some shopping and early dinner. I have a $25 savings certificate for DSW...Sweet. And of course, more cool liquid beverages will be involved.

Husband found out on Wednesday the name of company that bought his division. It is a French-Canadian company, so no more French jokes! The new company indicated that they would like to keep as many people as possible, so that's a good sign. The new company wants to wrap up the transfer in four to six weeks. They indicated that they will let people know their employment status in about two weeks. So we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Ok, time to get moving. I want to clean up the house a little and maybe take the Boy out before my fun begins.

Have a great weekend everyone! And special anniversary wishes to Brazen and Publius

All papers graded. All grades tabulated. All grades submitted.

I am done!!! Yippee!!!!!

I think this calls for a celebration of the liquid variety. Any suggestions??? Who wants to party with me??????

I just finished the grades for my Law and Ethics class. Out of 12 students, only 3 will receive passing grades.

WTF!!!

This is the most "F" grades I have ever handed out. Believe me; the students who received these grades earned them. You cannot pass my class if you fail to submit the research project. It is worth 40% of the grade in the course. Then, if you fail to do any of the homework assignments, you are absolutely guaranteed to fail. So I have no sympathy for those students who just decided that doing work was optional.

But, I do feel sorry for one particular student. He was going through a difficult time this semester. He discussed his problems with me, but yet he failed to submit some of the homework and one take home exam. He is close to a "D", but my college does not give "D" grades. This sucks because I would give him the "D" grade. But, I cannot. So he is going to fail.

Sigh.

On top of all this, I have two cases of plagiarism.

These are the days when I just want to yell "FUCK" at the top of my lungs.

In case you didn't know, turning in assignments when they are due is bullshit.

While chatting with Professor B, Student stops by. Student is in my Law and Ethics class. I mention to Student that he did not submit a research paper for my class either. Here is that conversation.

Student: Yes, I did turn it in.
Me: No, I don't have anything from you.
Student: Yes you do. I turned it in two weeks ago.
Me: I am positive that I do not have anything from you. But let me check my file. (Sure enough, I don't have anything).
Student: Wait, here it is, you gave it back to me. (Student shows me a paper)
Me: This is your rough draft. You did not submit the final paper.
Student: You mean I have to submit a paper too? That's bullshit. When was that due?
Me: Last Thursday. You were absent that day.
Student: Well, can I turn it in now?
Me: No, the deadline is passed and I do not give extension for something like this.
Student: This is totally bullshit. You did not tell me it was due.
Me: Uh yeah, the due date is on the assignment and on your tracking calendar.
Student: Man, this is bullshit.

I had a professor in who once said "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them in bullshit." Appropriate, don't you think?

I had back to back migraines, yesterday afternoon and this morning. Both came complete with a funky light show, a la Laser Floyd. Thanks to Imatex, I am functioning.

I finished grading the research papers for Critical Thinking. Granted there were only five papers, but with a migraine, it felt like 50. One student resubmitted her detailed outline as her paper! Yeah, like I wouldn't notice that!

Sigh.

Well, one class down, two to go. But I will wait until tomorrow!

I ran into one of my students at the liquor store last night. Husband and I stopped at our favorite little mom and pop liquor store on our way home from grocery shopping. We were low on wine. We were standing in line, when I heard this voice that sounded somewhat familiar. I looked over to see one of my students from my Law and Ethics class. This was not one of my favorite students. In fact, this student is a total slacker and very ghetto. She was with another girl who I have seen on campus. I don't know what they were buying, and I did not want to know!

I felt so awkward. I said "hello" and all the usual pleasantries, but frankly, I just wanted to get the hell out of there! Luckily, the clerk rang us up quickly and we were out of there. My husband was pretty cool about the whole thing and could sense my discomfort.

Have any of you had any strange encounters with students at places outside of campus? Did you feel as awkward as I did???

• Semester is finally over, except for grading during finals week. I did bring some stuff home, but I will not be surprised if it just sits in my briefcase.
• I spent the morning putting together my new vacuum. I decided to return to bags. I was constantly emptying the bag less ones. I was convinced that there was another dog living in my house with the amount of hair in the canister.
• The new vacuum is kinda heavy. Plus, it doesn't help that the Boy feels the need to attack it. That's why no robo vac. The Boy would see one of those and think "Chase, Kill, and Destroy!"
• Speaking of the Boy, he has not been for a walk in two days because of the heat. I should take him later. He gets really pesky when he has not been on a walk for more than a day!
• It's a little cooler today. Maybe I can open the windows and get some fresh air in the house.
• The sticking issue in the divorce from hell is solved. I have to stop by the court and pick up the transcript so I can draft the final judgment. Hopefully, I can finish that too next week.
• Tonight is take-out night. Don't know what I want. Husband ALWAYS wants hot wings.
• GML and I are thinking about facials and a liquid lunch as a way to celebrate the end of the semester. Sounds good, don't you think?

Only half of my Law and Ethics students submitted a research paper. Only four did an oral presentation today. Those that did not do the paper could have at least presented something to the class, at least get SOME points toward their grade. But no.

WTF????

There logic, or lack thereof, just amazes me. Wouldn't you want to get as many points as possible? Why the all or nothing logic? Is it easier to just not do it?

One of my students begged me for an extension. He claimed that he could not finish his paper because he went home for the weekend and he lost power last night. I do not entertain requests for extension on the day the paper is due, unless there is some extreme hardship. Needless to say, I was not sympathetic to his plight. He had not submitted any of the pre-assignments for the paper, which are part of his overall grade. That alone gave me pause. He probably just started his paper and wants me to bail him out because he cannot budget his time.

I thought I was being harsh. After all, the reason the student went home was because his brother was home from Afghanistan. I understand why he would want to be there. But, part of me thinks that if that was the case, why didn't he contact me last week when he was out to inform me of that information. Would I have given him the extension? I don't know, but I might have considered the possibility.

Later, I received my teaching evaluations for that same class. One of the comments was "Professor Seeking Solace is tough, but fair."

So much for feeling I was being too harsh.

• Let me join the chorus and just say "IT'S TOO FUCKING HOT!!!!"
• In my neck of the woods, it has never reached 100 degrees. In fact, they cancelled activities around here because of the heat. Usually, things are cancelled because of snow!
• Husband took the Boy for a walk at 10:30 PM last night. It was 80 degrees. The Boy was so hot and tired that he just flopped over on the kitchen floor. I had to bring his water bowl to him. Don't worry friends, he is fine. The poor guy is still shedding, despite my brushing efforts.
• All of my Survey of Law students submitted a research paper. I am just afraid of what is IN the research papers. I can't bring myself to grade them just yet. Maybe I need some liquid courage!
• Tomorrow is the last day of classes. All my students are doing a brief oral presentation of their research papers. They cannot stand up and read their paper; they actually have to discuss it with the class. I do this to see how well they KNOW the topic. It's a great way to weed out the plagiarists
• Can you believe that MTV is 25 years old!?!? Too bad they don't SHOW any videos anymore, unless you go to M2!

Ding Dong student submitted her paper today, all two pages of it. When asked why, she said "This is all I could do."

All I can do is give her a nice, big, shinny, red "F"!