The Waiting Room

My head is throbbing right now. Not a migraine, but still. Trick-or-Treat night is hard on dogs. When you enter my house, the foyer has another door that leads to the living room. We keep that door closed. Because of that, the Boy can't see who is at the front door or dart out. But, the constant ringing of the doorbell made him go crazy with barking. At one point, he just sat there, staring at the door, waiting for the bell like Pavlov's slobbering dog. Imagine that for three hours.

Antoher thought, What is up with 14 and 15 year olds Trick or Treating????

Also, I am in one of those moods where I don't want to be bothered or deal with people, especially students right now. Maybe it's midterms, I am not sure. Between the fuckwit in my Critical Thinking class and the overall level of laziness of the majority of my students, I just don't feel like being very cordial or supportive of them right now.

I am unsure of what to do with the fuckwit. Husband suggested that I just let it go. I have nothing to prove. But I think he misses the point. It's not about my having to prove anything to anyone. It's about teaching this guy about proper argument technique. Also, it you disrespect someone in power, you better be ready to deal with the consequences. And, you don't mess with women, especially talented, highly educated women.

But at the same time, I wonder if I do clean his clock, if he will go cry to the administration. One of my colleagues told me that a student, whom she would not identify, indicated to her that I have a tenancy to play favorites when it comes to my students. This colleague informed the person that such an idea was WAY off base. I did not ask who said this, and I would not press her into telling me. But I wonder if it is the same fuckwit. So that gives me pause.

Crud. All of this is making my headache worse.

There is a student in my Critical Thinking class who is quite a piece of work. In a discussion about whether states should require couple to seek counseling prior to marriage, he boldly stated that the only reason he married was for the gifts and the free honeymoon. He did not love his wife and they soon divorced. I said I found it rather sad that he viewed marriage in that way. He replied that I should be nicer to male students.

What the hell, dude??? You volunteered the information, so don't criticize the feedback.

Later in the discussion, we turned to the issue of whether courts should entertain lawsuits that reward people for their voluntary behavior. We were discussing the similarities and differences between the tobacco lawsuits and the obesity lawsuits. This same student began to argue the fast food was more dangerous that smoking. While his premise was interesting, his evidence to support it was extremely weak and lack sense or substance. When I tried to challenge him, he became very defensive, claiming I was "picking on him." Then he said the following:

"I wish I could go up against you in a legal case. I would totally beat you. You are just a woman."

He was totally serious.

On the one hand, I admire his moxie, but at the same time, doesn't he realize that I am a trained trial lawyer? I would mop the floor with him.

I don't want to come off as being arrogant. That is not what I am about and I apologize to my readers if I am sounding that way right now. But, I want this guy to learn the art of critical thinking and debate, but I also want him to understand that you do not treat woman or anyone in authority in a disrespectful way.

I could accept the challenge and take this young man to school, or I could be the bigger person and decline. What makes things worse is that word about what happened is all over campus.

How did I get into this mess in the first place????

There are three students in my Employment Law course. Two are wonderful, hard working students who really care about their work. The third is a slacker who rarely attends class or does any work.

Slacker Student had not attended class since the end of September. I asked the other students in my Employment Law class if they have seen him. One student told me that he has attended his other classes. When I asked if he said anything about mine Slacker informed this student that he assumes that I will accept his late work, since I gave him an extension for a project last semester.

Excuse me?? But don't extensions have an expiration date on them???

What's worse is that when you assume, you make an ass out of a dyslexic emu!

New feature here at the Waiting Room. I stole the idea from my dear friend, Ellen, who playlist blogs on Fridays.

Since I have free time on Monday mornings to grade or do other stuff, I often have my Ipod on shuffle to drown out the chaos and disorder around me at work.

It was pretty mellow for a Monday.

I Don't Know Why by Norah Jones
Ain't No Stopping Us by McFadden and Whitehead
Love Hurts by Nazareth
Lyin' Eyes by the Eagles
Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlin
Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles
Dessert Rose by Sting
Vallotte by Julian Lennon
Neither One of Us by Gladys Knight and the Pips
Hysteria by Def Leopard
Losing My Religion by REM
The Rising by Bruce Springsteen
You're My Best Friend by Queen

Courtesy of Claire

Explain what ended your last relationship?
I was dating this guy before Husband. I found out he had a girlfriend. I dropped him like a bad habit. He still tried to pursue me when I was dating Husband. Husband threatened to kick his ass.
When was the last time you shaved?.
Today.
What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?.
Reading the Sunday paper and drinking coffee.
What were you doing 15 minutes ago?.
Watching the embarrassing highlights of the Boys in Black and Gold getting their asses kicked.
Are you any good at math?
HEEELLLL NOOOO!
Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
I did not go to my prom. No one asked me! I was to embarrassed to go stag.
Do you have any famous ancestors
No
Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Yes, and I am still paying the fucker too! My goal is to be student loan free by the time I am 40. (FYI: I am 38).
Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
I don't do MySpace.
Last thing received in the mail?
Student Loan bill.
How many different beverages have you had today?
Four. Coffee, apple cider, water and wine.
Do you ever leave messages on people'’s answering machine?
Of course, how would they know to call me back? I am too cheap to get call waiting and too lazy to dial #82.
Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?.
I did not know there was such a thing.
Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No.
What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed. They were so impacted that I had to have surgery. My mouth was so swollen that I looked like I had marbles in my mouth. It hurt like hell. What made things worse was my brother thought it would be funny to eat pizza in front of me, since I could not chew anything.
What is out your back door?
Mud and the Boy which will soon be in my kitchen.
Any plans for Friday night?.
I can't think that far ahead.
Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Is it supposed to do something?
Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Once. It was very tasty.
Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes. I took Astronomy in college. (Astroprof would be proud!)
Do you re-use towels after you shower?.
NO.
Some things you are excited about?
I am actually excited about my 20th high school reunion this Thanksgiving.
What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?
Strawberry
Describe your keychain(s)?
I have a lock on a leather strap from Nine West. It kinda resebles nunchucks.
Where do you keep your change?
At the bottom of my purse.
When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I am a college instructor and a lawyer. When don't I speak to a large crowd of people???
What kind of winter coat do you own?
I have four. A black pea coat, a black full length wool coat, a purple ski jacket and a dark green barn coat. I live in a place where it snows a lot.
What was the weather like on your graduation day?
It was sunny and warm for my undergrad, Master's and Law school.
Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.

Husband left for Mass a little bit ago. I have not gone in a few years. Every once in while, I get this ping of guilt, like I should go. But I just can't bring myself to do it.

I have this love-hate relationship with Catholicism. I think it started in the eighth grade when I was preparing for Confirmation. We were shown a film that depicted an abortion in graphic detail. Then, we were told what horrible things God would do to if any of us even considered such a thing. What a way to convey a message. The instructors probably figured that we would be scared into supporting pro-life. For me, it did the opposite. I felt like I was being told "Believe or else". I did not like that.

The Catholic church I attended during college was a little more progressive. I guess it would have to be, seeing that it was on a college campus and all. The rhetoric was the same, but not to the same intensity that I experienced in my home parish. It seemed like I found my way back.

When Husband and I were preparing for our wedding, we decided to get married in his parish. Husband is Byzantine Catholic. The wedding ceremony is rich with symbolism, which is what drew me to having the wedding in Husband's church. Later, I learned that we HAD to get married in the Byzantine Rite because the Byzantine Rite is a tad bit territorial. On top of that, Husband's priest was totally "old school". He insisted that we have the vow that states "Wives must be submissive to their husbands." I argued with the priest that there was NO WAY I was going to recite that garbage. Of course, this was dumped on me a week before the wedding, so I had no way of backing out and finding another priest or church. So I recited the offensive vow. But in true Seeking Solace fashion, I said "NOT" at the end. (It was audible and on tape!)

Since moving to Lake Effect Snow Central, my Mass attendance has been sporadic. Our parish has gone through many priests. Some were old school, which resulted in my boycott. One was really cool. His motto was "Mass in 30 minutes or it's free." His homilies were basically "Be good, For the love of God, just be good." No fire and brimstone. But, he was soon replaced with Father G, who is old school and LOVES to remind us that we need to give more money.

Someone asked me if I ever thought about changing religions. I dabbled in Buddhism for a while. Sadly, I got some heat from family. Plus, I saw what family can do when you stray from the norm. My best friend, Piglet, converted from Catholicism to Non Denominational before her wedding and family members treated her like she joined Al Qaeda! Husband thinks I should not give up on Catholicism. He feels that it's the Church that has to change, not him. Let the Church drive him out.

I wish I could think like that. I have a strong faith, but my flesh is rather weak.

• Feeling a little better. It's mostly in my throat and sinuses.
• I know I have said this before, but daytime TV sucks. Yesterday, I did watch Rachel Ray, who had a cool seafood recipe. But everything else is just bad.
• I watched Oprah with Bill O'Reilly. I swear the one guy in the audience with the dark hair and the dark blue shirt could have been Publius! (Was it??? Come on, you can fess up here!)
• I looked at every catalogue in my house. At least I got some ideas for Christmas.
• The Boy does not understand that when Mom is sick, that is not the time to incessantly bark at the critters in the backyard.
• Also, the Boy hates having his feet wiped after being out in the mud. It's always a wrestling match.
• Husband and his work buddies engaged in Hog Fat Friday. They consumed a whole rack of ribs, plus a half a pound of bacon...EACH. What a bunch of pigs!!! (pun completely intended!)
• Meds kicking in. Nap time!!!!

Ugh...Welcome to cold season.

Day two, and I feel worse than I did yesterday. What really sucks is that I am going to miss a great party tonight.

Well, back to the couch before I do a header into the keyboard.

Happy 40th Birthday to Husband!!!!!!

My mom sent me this. I wish I knew who said it!

"REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM."

These gems were found in essays written by a few of my Critical Thinking students. I swear I am not making this up!

"Mary never had no altercation with the law before."

"She didn't have no reason to mess up her life even more."

"Mary was being prostitute was getting beat by her pimp." "She could have told her coworkers that were out there with her at the time."

It's going to be a long semester.

• Things have been a little crazy here, weather-wise. My backyard is soaked with water and mud. The Boy just had to chase a squirrel and come back covered in mud. He tracked mud through my kitchen and almost made into the living room when Husband tackled him. Husband gave him a bath in the basement while I cleaned the floors in the kitchen. (Shout out to the folks who make the Swiffer Wet Jet...you are a dog mom's best friend!)
• Because of the mud issue, I am re-thinking about getting rid of the carpet in my living room and dinning room. I think there is hardwood under the carpeting in those rooms. It's much easier to keep clean, especially with the Boy.
• When is it going to stop raining here? (Hey GML...What's next? Locusts???)
• Husband and I bickered this morning. He has this crazy idea of putting all of the sporting equipment in the guest room closet so that if the basement floods, such items will be protected. Um...there is not that much room in that closet. Plus, what would our guests think when they see camping equipment in the closet?
• Local NFL team just plain sucks. Do you guys have your heads up your asses for comfort or because you like the smell?
• Why are boots so damn expensive?? I need new dress boots but I don't know if I want to spend over $100.00 for something that is going to take a beating with the weather. On the flip-side, I don't want to replace boots every winter.
• I have to go work on Monday...crud. Nothing prepared yet...crud!

ETA: My boys in black and gold lost AGAIN! AND IT'S LIKE A MONSOON OUTSIDE!!!!!!

• Husband's 40th birthday is next Wednesday. No party. No fanfare. He just wants a quiet celebration with me. It's not that he is dreading the big 4-0, he's just not into anyone making a big deal about it.
• I ordered his present, but I can't say what it is because he reads my blog! But he is going to like his gift. Plus, I am taking him out to dinner.
• I need to go jeans shopping. As a result of my workouts, I can't keep my pants up! It's a good problem to have, but I hate shopping for jeans. I have a small waist, but I have hips and junk in the trunk, which means that any pants I buy swim on my waist because I have to fit my hips. Any suggestions out there?
• I wish it would stop raining
• I need a spa day! (GML...when can we go?????)
• Tonight is takeout night. I am thinking pizza, New York style.

I would love to tell you where I have been for the past week. But, I would have to kill you. Seriously though, it would compromise my identity. But all is well in the Waiting Room and I am glad to be back!!!!!!

During my Criminal Law lecture today, one of my students asked me if it was possible to get a job in the Criminal Justice field if one had a criminal record. I told the student that most careers in Criminal Justice require a background check and licensing. As a result, a person cannot have a criminal record. The student told me that no one in Admissions told him this little bit of information and if he had known, he would have chose a different major.

What the hell is wrong with these admissions people? Don't they realize that they are setting the college up for some serious liability issues? Suppose a student gets a criminal justice degree, pays all that money in tuition and fees and cannot get a job because of a criminal record. That is pure negligence on the part of the school. It seems to me that the college has an ethical duty to inform students of the possibility of their past interfering with their future. But no, the admissions people only care about the numbers. Anything else is the faculty's problem.

So I guess I will fire off an email to the chair of the program and hope he will light a fire under the asses of the admissions folks. But it still pisses me off that my college spouts out all this crap about students acting in an ethical way when the people in charge cannot grasp the concept.

It drives me crazy how easily students give up when they are given a challenging task. They either roll over or refuse to do the task or whine and complain about how stupid the task is. They are not willing to try or even to THINK.

Case in point. I covered LB's Financial Analysis class. The students were given an assignment to help them get started on their research paper. The assignment was to be completed using the computer. It asked the student about certain resources and why those resources would be helpful with their paper.

Well this one student just threw her hands up in the air, stating that it was too hard and she was not going to do the assignment because she did not know what a particular word meant. I suggested that she Google the word. But that was just too hard for her. She asked if I could do it for her. My response was "Your hands seem to be working properly. I think you can handle this." She let out a heavy sigh and went back to work.

I guess she was afraid that if she thought out the problem, her brain would explode.

If one more person asks me if I am OK, I am going to scream. Only my boss, GML and LB know what happened. I know they mean well, but I am trying to move on from the panic attack incident. Constant questions do not help.

So I'll just smile and say "I'm fine."

Sigh.

So my hiatus is over. I bet you're wondering what happened.

Well, I had a panic attack. I have experienced them before, but this was the first one in a very long time. After the attack subsided, I could still feel my heart fluttering. I do have a mitral valve prolapse (sticky heart valve). So those two issues made me get to my doc, pronto. She did an EKG which was normal. The beta-blocker that I take was doing its job. But the whole thing was pretty scary.

What triggered it? I guess you could chalk it up to emotional overload; a stress filled week combined with a case of chronic open mouth-insert foot syndrome. Ever have one of those weeks where anything you say or do results in extreme blow back? Well, that was it for me. But damn, it should not have resulted in something so intense. I mean, we all have bad weeks. And in the grand scheme of things, last week was pretty tame compared to others. I have experienced weeks where I just wanted to lock myself in a room, curl up in a ball and cry. This was not one of those weeks. But the voices of inadequacy crept back in when I wasn't looking.

I needed time. Time to get my shit together and regroup. I did not turn on my computer. I did not watch much TV. I did not work and any school stuff. I just mellowed out, went for walks with the Boy, banged away on my piano, singing at the top of my lungs and thought about what I needed to take away for all of this

I work in very close quarters with my fellow faculty members. Normally, I try not to get caught up in the chaos and drama. But I let my guard down. I concerned myself with things that I can't control. I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. What I realized is that I need to steer clear of the drama, even if it means surgically attaching my IPod to my ears. It's not being anti-social, but I just need to protect myself. It is not my job to change the world. I just can't do it anymore.

I don't know if I will ever have another panic attack. But I don't think I will give so away so much of myself again.

Today is my blog's first birthday!!!!

Things are a little out of control here. I need to take a break and regroup.

Cheers for now.

Dirty Old Male Faculty member was speaking to PYT near my cubicle in the faculty room. He was drooling all over her. PYT just loved the attention.

Take it somewhere else, PLEASE!!!!!!!

Riddle me this Lords and Ladies of Academia. Why does an institution who claims to be a college, require that if an instructor is going to be absent, the instructor must find a substitute to teach her class instead of just cancelling it?

Because of my migraine last Thursday, I had to find someone to "teach' my law classes. Now there are only one or two people who are qualified to cover my courses and could pick up my lesson. But for the most part this is not the case. So, I have to give "busy work". How lame is that? The person covering the course does get paid to baby-sit.

I have voiced my opinion on many occasions but I am wondering if my colleagues don't like to question authority, which is usually the case, or they just don't care.

It is too bold of me as an adjunct to raise the issue with the new Dean?