The Waiting Room

It's a sad, sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd.
Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John
Written by Elton John and Bernie Tauplin. From the album Blue Moves, MCA (1976)

Today was just one of those days where I just did not feel like teaching. My law students were supposed to submit a rough draft of their research paper. Only two students out of 15 submitted their drafts. I give them credit for submitting the draft, even if there are mistakes. I want them to make their mistakes now. That way I am not reading a ton of garbage later. So I sent them away. I told them that they had until Monday to submit their drafts. But honestly, I just can't deal with them anymore.

I have been teaching for two years now. And for the first time, I feel disillusioned. I think the reason is that at my college, the instructors have lost their authority. The HMFICs have instituted policies that are better suited for a high school than a college. The students know this, and they feed from it. If a student is disrespectful to an instructor, that instructor is powerless to do anything. If she does, that student immediately runs to one of the HMFICs and bitches and moans until the student gets his or her way. And instructors are left to deal with the carnage.As instructors, we are told that this is in the name of retention. Gah, I hate that word with a passion. At the end of the day, that is all that really matters, at least to the HMFICs. But what does it really mean? Warm bodies no matter what the cost?

Husband says that I am fighting a losing battle. He thinks that I should not waste my energy on convincing those in power that the system is screwed up.

I guess I will end this entry with another quote:

Will a change come while we’re waiting? Everyone is waiting…
Witness by Sarah McLachlin
Written by Sarah McLachlin. From the CD Surfacing, Arista (1996).

“We’ve all gone crazy lately. My friends out there are rolling ‘round the basement floor.”
Someone Save My Life Tonight by Elton John
Written by Elton John and Bernie Tauplin. From the album Blue Moves, MCA (1976).

It seems that all of us in academic land have fallen into the fiery cauldron of hell. It’s that time of year where we are bombarded with student emails, questions and demands. There are the students who disappear for most of the semester without any word as to their whereabouts. Were they abducted by aliens? Did they come down with some mysterious disease, like the Bird Flu? Who knows? But they suddenly reappear and expect you to help them catch up on their work.

Then there is the barrage of questions. You know the ones. When is the paper due? What chapters are on the final? Is this going to be on the test? When are your office hours? You answered them at least 100 times already, but for some reason, it just does not register in the student’s gray matter. It seems the words “syllabus” and “tracking calendar” means nothing.

It has gotten to the point where I even try to sneak out so that my students will not see me. I am at the point where I just don’t want to deal with the questions, begging and whining. I am thinking about limiting my availability to just my scheduled office hours. But then there is that voice in my head that whispers “No, it’s all about retention. You have to be there for your students.”

Blah! Maybe the voices should deal with the students instead of me.

I stopped by to visit GML’s class after my law class ended. She is teaching Sociology for the first time, so I have tried to help her fumble through the chaos. It is not an easy class to teach because of the high number of first term students. When I got to her classroom, I could see smoke coming out of her ears. Her face was flushed red.

So I asked the obvious. “What’s wrong?”
GML responded “These little f%$@ers are so damn disrespectful!!!"

Now, I know it’s bad, because GML does not normally drop the F bomb like that. (Unlike yours truly who cusses up a storm, including F bombs) GML began to tell me how one of her students, sitting in the back of the classroom with her head on the desk for about half of the lecture, stands up and walks out of the class. As she passes GML on her way out, this lovely young lady says. “This class is so f@$%king boring.” Before GML could say anything, the student slammed the door and took off like she was being chased by the police.

There seems to be a lack of home training among many of the students at my college. By home training, I mean manners. And I do not think it is limited to just my school. We have become very indecorous and ill mannered society. Everywhere you look, people are rude and nasty toward each other. Some of the news footage from Black Friday is a great example.

So how we change a society that is increasingly disrespectful? I haven’t a clue. If I did, I would sell it and retire to Tahiti. But, I guess you have to pick your battles. So for GML, her solution is that she will have the last word. After all, GML controls the red pen.

Now that’s power!

Ok, so it’s a little late, but here goes

I am thankful for….

The fact that I am here, semi healthy and somewhat sane.

My wonderful and beautiful husband. He is my soul mate, my best friend and my rock. If cloning of humans is possible, I would give all my friends a clone of him.

The Boy. He is the delimitation of loving loyalty.

My family. Even though we are estranged….

My friends. Special shout out to: GML: my partner in crime, cell mate in college professor prison and the only one who keeps me honest about working out. Piggy-G: my best friend since the seventh grade. The one person, other than my husband, who really knows me. Divorce Lady: my connection to my past life and always up for Applebee's!!

My new blog friends. You guys are the best!!!!!

My job. Compared to practicing law, it’s not so bad.

The Good: Thanksgiving Day

Good food and good wine. I cooked a lovely turkey breast brushed with olive oil and seasonings, smashed potatoes with garlic and chives, herb stuffing, corn, and cranberries. For dessert, sweet potato pie with whipped cream. And of course, lots of wine.

I had been feeling the effects of a cold coming on since Wednesday. But I felt fine on Thursday, so I guess my mind over matter mantra of “I am not getting sick” must have worked.

The Bad: Friday, The Day After

I spoke too soon.

I was SOOOOO sick. Intestines churned. Gears reversed. Temperature of 100 degrees. Slept on the couch all day.

Daytime TV totally sucks. Listened to Fox New Channel all day.

Husband had to work. Came home at 6 PM with the same symptoms. He told me that people at work have the same symptoms. Great. Now I know who to blame.

The Too Cute: Saturday

It snowed a foot in my neck of the woods overnight. It is so beautiful outside. It looks like an Ansel Adams photograph.

The Boy’s alter ego, Snow Dog, made an appearance. When I let him out this morning, he dive bombed into the snow and began to roll around. He was barking and chasing the snow flurries. I wish there was film in my camera.

I am feeling somewhat human. Hopefully things will get better.

It looks like the trip to Redneckville, USA is cancelled. We are expected between one and two FEET of snow. Plus, Husband informed me that he will have to work on Friday and Saturday, because there is a major glitch in Big Project. So we are having turkey and all the trimmings at home. I am looking forward to it. I love to cook and can make a great turkey.

So, no worries about the Boy. He will be enjoying the holiday at home. Thanks to all who posted their opinions. The majority of posts indicated that the Boy should go to the kennel. I really appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I have a better perspective about the issue. With all the chaos of the holidays, he is probably better off at the “doggie spa”. I also do not want to make anyone uncomfortable or resentful of me or the Boy.

I am going to relax over the next couple of days. I do have some papers to grade, but I think I hold off on that until Sunday. I refuse to go shopping on Black Friday. That is the one day of the year where I avoid the mall like the plague. The last place I want to be is in a crowded mall dealing with people fighting over parking spaces or the latest hot ticket item.

To all of you out there is blog-land, have a safe and happy Thanksgiving! And to my academic mates, get plenty of rest because all hell will break loose next week!

Only seven out of 26 students showed up for my Sociology class today. Why so many absences? The students had an essay due today, which was assigned a week ago. Many showed up to class and said

“My essay is done, it’s just not typed.”

Excuse me, but if the essay is not typed, IT IS NOT DONE!

Dr. Crazy and Astroprof talked recently about the problem of accepting late assginments. I have a zero tolerance policy for late work. If I do not have the assignment by the end of class, the student gets no credit. The policy is stated in my syllabus and on each assignment. Of course, I give the students option if they cannot make it to class. They have both my school and home email. They can give it to someone to turn in. If the student is so ill or in a serious emergency, and can provide documentation, I will cut them a break.

When I started as an adjunct, I would accept late work. I tried deducting points, giving amnesty and many other means to get them to turn in work. It was driving me crazy. So, in January, I instituted the zero tolerance policy. Many students did not think I would hold the boundary, but I did. When the first deadline passed, and students tried to turn in late work, they were stunned. They cried, begged, cussed me out and one student threatened me. Some even complained to the Dean. To the student’s surprise, the Dean backed me up 100%. Since implementing this policy, I found that my students understand that a deadline is a deadline. It has also made my life easier. I am no longer chasing students at the end of the semester for back work. And, I am not bombarded with a ton of back work to grade at the end of semester.

I don’t think many students understand that there are consequences outside of their own world. Many of my students fail to see how their actions affect those around them. If they do not submit an assignment on time, it put me behind in my grading. If I am behind in my grading, I may not be able to submit my grades on time. If I don’t submit my grades on time, then the Dean has to explain to her superior why the grades for my classes are not complete. It’s a circular thing.

One more day until Thanksgiving.....

PS: Two votes against the Boy, One vote for the Boy. See my post about Dates and Dogs. I am still taking votes.

I had a date night with Husband. He is under the gun, working on a project for Big Software Company. So, we decided to take a break and catch a movie and dinner. We saw “Walk the Line” , which is about Johnny Cash. Phenomenal movie. A definite must see. Dinner was Mexican: Margaritas and quesadillas. Delish!

Back to the grind tomorrow. Only a three day week. Attendance will slowly dwindle by Wednesday. Thursday, Husband and I will enjoy Thanksgiving together. Friday, it’s off to Redneckville to visit the family. At least we grew up in the same town, so no arguing over whose family to visit. But the Boy has to go to the kennel. Mom is not allowed to have pet at her place. In-Laws refuse to let the Boy stay, despite the fact that he is crate trained and more obedient than most children. Our niece and nephew will be there and they are deathly afraid of dogs. Not because they had a bad experience, but because they have never been exposed to them. They are four and five. There are two things that children should not be afraid of: water and dogs.

I think I should be allowed to bring the Boy. He is very sweet and excellent with children. I am training him to be a therapy dog, so he is used to being handled.

My motto is: love me, love my dog. What do you think? I would love to hear from both human parents and dog parents.

After trying on about 20 pairs of jeans, I finally hit jeans nirvana. Check it out

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=158853&CategoryID=8348


Yeah, they are a little pricy, but thank God for store coupons!

Unlike some of my blog-mate, I enjoy shopping. But there are two thing that I HATE to shop for; swimwear and jeans. Shopping for swimwear is an exercise in futility. There is nothing redeeming about it, no mater what size or shape you are.

Jeans come in a close second. I am 5’ 4’’, on a good day. I have a small waist and some junk in the trunk. So jeans are either too big in the waist, too tight in the hips, or too long. . I can try on 20 pairs and still not find that perfect fit. Also, I hate the whole low rise thing. Low rise jeans have contributed to America’s growing crack problem. Then there is the dreaded “Mom-Jean”. If you don’t know about the mom jean, you are probably wearing them right now!

The other day, Oprah had a jeans intervention with Stacey for TLC’s “What Not to Wear”. She had some great suggestions for those of us who would rather go to the dentist that shop for jeans.

Check it out: http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200511/tows_past_20051115_b.jhtml

Wish me luck!

Cynical Professor has decided to end her blog. Pity. I enjoyed her “cynical” posts. Cheers CP and best of luck.

Today, we had snow in my neck of the woods. I'm not talking about a dusting. I’m talking accumulation here. Winter is at our throats again.

I am almost out of wine. Drag.

Sigh.

Reading posts from ProfGrrr and Blithering Moron made me think about my former career. Before I re-entered the academic world, I was an attorney. I practiced in small firms, large firms and ultimately had my own practice. But after several years, I became cynical and jaded at the people seeking representation and the profession as a whole. So, I decided to walk away from the whole thing. There were other reasons, like my health which contributed to my decision. Many of my lawyer friends thought I was insane. How could I give up practicing law after all the hell I went through to become a member of the bar? It was easy. I love the law. The problem is I do not love what it has become.

The tiny bit of idealist in me always believed that the purpose of the law is helping those in need. But the reality is that law is an ugly business. No one hires an attorney because they are happy about a situation. It’s about two things: power and money. People in the US are very litigation happy. If you stub your toe, you want to sue. If you can’t control your finances because you have no fiscal responsibility, you file bankruptcy. If you spill hot coffee on you lap, you get paid. If your ex is one minute late in returning the kids from visitation, you run to court to strip him of his visitation. I have a million stories I could tell, but that would violate attorney-client privilege.

The profession is no better. Look at daytime TV. Every other commercial is some lawyer telling you how if you were exposed to X, you could receive big money. As a result of looser restrictions on attorney advertisements, many people think that they can get rich. I teach a Survey of Law course, and many of my students feel this way. There first line of defense in any situation is SUE THE BASTARDS!

Attorneys are extremely cut-throat when it comes to dealing with their peers. When I graduated from law school, our faculty speaker reminded us to be civil to our opposition. We should be zealous advocates in the courtroom, but at the end of the day, you should be able have a beer with your opposition. In my tenure, I have seen a viciousness and nastiness that is normally reserved for animals in the wild.

Don’t get me wrong. I have represented many wonderful people who really needed my help. I often represented people who did not qualify for free legal assistance and could not afford the high retainers that some lawyers charge. Many of them truly appreciated my help. I am thankful that I have the skill and expertise to help those who truly need it. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Do I miss it? Sometimes. I still keep my license in active status, because you never know…..

And I do believe that sharks avoid eating lawyers!

"And everywhere you turn, there are vultures and thieves at your back."
Angel, by Sarah McLachlin
From the CD Surfacing, Arista (1996).

It's that time of year when I feel less than human and more like a piece of road kill waiting for the vultures to swoop down and devour. OK, I am being a bit dramatic. But the truth is, my students pounce on me before I can get my coat off in the morning. It's like I am wearing a tracking device. Here is a typical conversation at 8:15 AM

Student One: "Professor, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU NOW!"
Me: "I no function well coffee without."
Student One: "But it is SOOOO important."
Me: "Office hours."

{15 paces later)

Student Two: "Ain't that bibliography due today?"
Me: Uh, yeah."
Student Two: "Well, mine ain't done." "Can I turn it in late?"
Me: No response, but I give the student a stare that
could freeze hydrogen.

(Almost at the faculty room)

Student Three: "Please Miss, I have a problem!"
Me: I growl like Marge Simpson
Student Three: "Oh, am I bothering you?""Well I just wanted to know what I missed yesterday."
Me: Growling louder
Student Three: "I'll check with you later."

(Checking my mailbox)

Loudspeaker: "Professor, please call the switchboard!"

(I call the switchboard)

Receptionitst: "Student Four and Five need to speak with you."
Me: "GRRRRRR!"

Anyone have any ideas for a disguise???

“It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep form going under.” The Message by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
From Message from the Beat Street, Rino/Wea (1994).
It’s Monday…

One student showed up on time for Critical Thinking, which begins at 8:30. After waiting five minutes, I began my lecture. Students began to trickle in around 9:00, with the last arriving at 9:30. The class ends at 9:45. All the late arrivals asked me the same question. “Did I miss anything?”

Later, I had to meet with the Dean. She just happened to schedule the meeting at the same time that I have office hours. I have students crying for my attention. Instead, I have sit with a few other prisoners and explain where my assessments fit with respect to Bloom’s Taxonomy. Sweet merciful crap, I got students harassing and stalking me for help, and now they have ammo for not doing well.

Then it was off to cover an English class for LN. Subbing sucks, except for the fact that I get paid for it. (See my post “Grow Up”) I posted the assignments on the board, took attendance and collected homework. The assignments were to be completed in class, but some students decided to take the day off. All but five walked out of the class. I do not recall saying that the students could leave. Maybe they have difficulty with the English language.

My afternoon was not as bad. My law class does give me too much grief. I do have one student who bombarded me with emails all weekend, wanting to know if I had graded his exam yet. I do not give out grades via email and my students know this. Just to torture him, I waited until the end of class to return the exams. Next exam, I am going to block his email address.

GML just retuned from her extended stay on the sunny beaches of Jamaica, where she was studying the effects of relaxation and alcohol on the overworked college professor. She told me that one of her Sociology students walked into class five minutes before the end of the lecture and asked “So, what did I miss?”

Is there any way to get immunity on this island?

Ah, Friday. No classes and it’s a holiday. The Boy let me sleep in until 9:00 this morning. Usually, his mission is to wake me up so that he can sleep downstairs! If he senses any signs of movement, he is trotting around the bed, whining to get my attention. If that does not work, he will jump in the bed and try to move me. There is nothing like a 70 pound German Shepard who thinks he is a lap dog!

I have not figured out what the plan is for today. Husband has to work today. It’s nice that no one is here. It is relatively quite, with the exception of the occasional barking fits from the Boy because he sees a squirrel in the backyard and he feels the need to give chase.

I guess I better take advantage of the time. There are five weeks left in the semester, and all hell will break loose after Thanksgiving.

Just a side note on Veteran’s Day, No matter what your opinion is about the war, take some time to give props to our men and women who serve our country.

Today, I was able to leave after my last class! I was able to sneak out before I could hear the piercing sound of my name followed by “I need to talk to you…NOW!” Husband and I went out to lunch to our favorite lunch site. There is this Indian restaurant that has an awesome lunch buffet. So we relaxed and indulged ourselves before he had to return to work.

So, I am going to curl up on my couch with the Boy and take a well deserved nap! Tomorrow is Friday, and I don’t have any classes! Woohoo!!!!

At my college, we are not allowed to cancel a class. We actually have to have someone act as a substitute teacher. Excuse me, but I thought this was college. Granted, you do get paid for your time, but like I said, THIS IS COLLEGE!!! I am coving GML's Keyboarding class. For an hour and thirty minutes, I have to sit here and listen to the students clap away on the computer. I have finished all of my grading, scanned the Internet, and now I am bitching on my blog.

The administration at my college treats the students like they are in elementary school This week is registration for the Winter semester. Some of the faculty, including yours truly, were informed that we are required to end our classes 10 minutes early, so that we can escort our students to the registration area. WTF is up with that!!! I flat out refuse to do this. If my students are not smart enough to know when to register for class, they should not be here in the first place. Plus, I am giving a test in my Law course. My tests usually take up the entire class period. If I short change my students, there will be hell to pay.


I am ready to find another job at a different college!

I always get a kick out of the people I encounter on the subway. Today was no exception. The subway system runs above ground in the downtown area of my city. So when one boards, you are outside braving the elements.

As I took my seat, a woman in her 50’s began screaming at the top of her lungs and hitting the seat next to her with her cane. I looked up to see a bird flapping around. She took a good swing at it, which caused it to take flight in the subway car. Now, everyone is screaming and slapping at this poor bird. One would have thought that these people had just seen “The Birds’ and just lost their minds. It’s a bird for crying out loud. The worst thing that it could do is crap on your head. Finally, the poor creature landed near the door and a woman gently pushed it out. People were actually threatening to sue the transportation authority for stress!

Now I remember why I sometimes love animals more than people. And why I am no longer practicing law.

Today, we had our monthly faculty meeting. On the docket was the issue of using the “D” grade. At my college, we do not give a grade of “D”. The HMFICs wanted our input as to whether the faculty should be allowed to use “D” as a grade. (FYI: HMFIC = Head M.F. In Charge)

Every semester, I am faced with the dilemma of what to do with the student who falls in the traditional “D” range. I can’t justify pushing him over to a “C” when he has not completed “C” work. And I can’t justify giving an “F” when I know that he is trying his best. Why should someone fall below “C” level if that person is putting forth the effort? (Pun intended!)

But if I am allowed to give a “D” grade, does that mean that my students will just do the bare minimum in order to just pass? And what courses will be affected? I do not believe that students should be allowed to receive a grade of “D” in their major. That is not acceptable. But should the same be said for the General Education courses? I teach both major and Gen Ed courses. I expect my students to work hard and do their best, regardless of the course. So by allowing “D” grades, am I telling my students to strive for less?

I would love some input on this one!

The weekend was relaxing. I even got to watch some mindless TV, something I don’t normally do. TV Land was showing the sitcom “What’s Happening”. I loved that show as a kid. The Simpsons and Family Guy were absolutely hilarious! I would love to find a download of the FCC song from Family Guy! Plus, I actually cooked a meal for the first time in a week. My husband, who also cooks, has been stressed out with his job. We have been living on take out! Both of us, and our waistlines, are relieved! The Boy is also happy that he had a chance to play with his mom. The Boy is my five year old German Shepard.

So it’s back to the grind. I finally finished all of my midterm grades. They are late, but they are done. But that seems to be par for the course. My fellow faculty members look like they played four quarters of football…as the football! Thank God this semester is almost over!

My colleague and partner in crime at our college, GML, is in Jamaica this week. (Bitch!!!! No, it’s ok GML, I ‘m not mad at you, LOL) But the thought of basking on the beach with a frozen margarita sounds heavenly!

Maybe I’ll just play some Jimmy Buffett and rev up the blender!

It’s amazing what brunch, a trip to the chiropractor, and a long nap will do for the soul. All I need now is some retail therapy! I am so thankful that I do not teach any classes on Fridays. I don’t think I would have made it to today.

I think we often forget the importance of self care. I am one of those insanely driven people who will work until near collapse. I have been like that for as long as I can remember. It seemed to become worse doing my law school days. (Yes, in a previous life, I was a member of the evil profession!) Unfortunately, all this drive gave me was an autoimmune disease, migraines and the occasional panic attack.

I decided that I would give myself a break for a day or two. Go underground, if you will. I am just going to kick back and relax. Watch movies, listen to music, shop etc… My husband and my five year old have felt neglected this week. (FYI: my five year old is a German Shepard!) Sunday, I will be ready to face the world again.

I have been reading some of the other blogs out there. Dr. Crazy and Dean Dad really spoke to me. It seems like all of us, at one time or another; need someone to talk us down from the edge. Thanks to the two of you for your commentaries.

See you on the other side….

I decided to allow my Critical Thinking classes to make correction on their midterm essays for partial credit. But I did ream them out about the whole citation issue. A couple of students looked me dead in the face and said “You mean I have to document my sources in the body of the paper and at the end?” I was amazed. My response was “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Normally, I would not drop the “F” bomb like that, but I was at the end of my rope. These are second and third semester students. All of them have taken Composition and Research and Library Skills, where MLA guidelines are pounded into their heads. Plus, I reviewed those concepts when I gave out the midterm, just in case. I even remind them of the wonderful tutorial services that are available. I told them that they could see me during office hours or set up an appointment and I would review their work. Do they take advantage of any of this?

So, I dismissed class and told them to use the time to work on their corrections. Later, I sat down to read essays from my Sociology class. Same shit, different class. After two hours, I just gave up. I went home and fell asleep on my couch.

Like the song says “My Give a Damn is Busted.”

I am halfway through the midterm grading process. My brain is fired.

I teach a course in Critical Thinking. Of the 10 students in my class, six failed the midterm, one received a “B” and rest did not even bother to submit it. The exam was a take home essay in which the student was to brainstorm possible solutions to a complex problem. They were asked to provide research to support their ideas. What I noticed is either they do not provide any information to back up their position, or they refuse to follow proper citation form. Some neglect to submit a Works Cited page.

What totally chaps my ass is that these concepts have been drilled into their heads. Every instructor requires proper MLA citation form. But they STILL refuse to do it! Sometime I wonder if they hear me. It’s like that episode of the Simpsons, where Bart is trying to train his dog. Everything from the dog’s perspective is “Blah, Blah, Blah.” I think my students are doing the same thing. No matter what I say, it does not register in the gray matter.

I am angry and frustrated. Does anyone else out there have this problem?

Shout out to Cynical Professor: Hope to hear from you soon.

Help!!!! I am drowning in a sea of midterm exams! My head hurts. My vision is blurry. And if I read one more essay with incomplete sentences, poor grammar and plagiarized resources, I am going to need one of those white coats with the arms that tie in the back! Who says you can’t wear white after Labor Day?

I need sleep.
I need a stiff drink. (One of my colleagues suggested Red Bull with vodka)
I need a vacation. (Shout out to GML: While you are basking in sunny Jamaica, I will be drowning in a sea of insanity!)