The Waiting Room

This could take a while...

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

The Rules of Engagement

Posted by Seeking Solace |

Dear Applicants:

I realize that this is a very tough job market. I know that many of you are desperate to find a job, any job that will utilize your special skills. I appreciate your taking the time to consider a position at my college.

But, it is readily apparent that some of you have not mastered the skill of selling your special skills in a manner that would cause me to spend more than 10 seconds reading your resume.

So, here are helpful, albeit, snarky suggestions for you the next time you reply to a posting. Keep in mind that my suggestions are not personal, it's strictly business.

  1. My posting specifically says that a Juris Doctor, meaning a law degree, is required. Not an Associates degree in paralegal studies or a BS degree or even a PhD in political science. I am sure you are a very nice person and I appreciate your accomplishments, but my accrediting body would not be happy with me if I hired you.
  2. This also means that you must have graduated. Graduated means you have completed your degree and you have the degree in your hand or hanging on a wall somewhere.
  3. Um, does the word "proofread" mean anything to you?
  4. In addition to proofreading, please make sure you properly format your resume. Some of the resumes I've seen are a hot mess!!!
  5. Cover letter. Use it. Tell me how you can help me.
  6. However, arrogance in a cover letter will get you a one way ticket to the "Hell to the No" pile. While one should be proud of their accomplishments, telling me that you are the greatest thing since sliced white bread and I should be honored to have you on my faculty is so not cool.

I am sure I can think of other suggestions, but right now, my head is spinning from those who choose not to follow these simple suggestions. Bottom line, don't be an ass hat.


Seeking Solace


Psycgirl said...

Uh yeah I'm pretty sure you're supposed to give the impression that you as the applicant would be honored to join the faculty ;)

Hope you find some eligible candidates soon!

Sherlock said...

Oh my goodness - I used to teach business communications and some of the cover letters and resumes the students wrote were simply unbelievable. I refused to write it over for them but gave them lots of suggestions. Then the final copies come in and I'm just appalled. Anyone who can't write a cover letter and resume doesn't deserve to get a job.

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

We have the same frustrations with applicants in philosophy... only, we get JDs who think the minimum requirement of 18 grad hours in the discipline is somehow optional :).

I wonder if you could hire the equivalent of an ABD --- in law, as long as their degree is finished by their start date.

Seeking Solace said...

ITPF: Unfortunately, law does not have an ABD status. I wish I could hire a PhD or an ABD, but the accreditation people would have a fit.

Breena said...

I hope that when I go on the job market lots of these people will apply for the same jobs as me. They will make me look good. ;)