The Waiting Room

This could take a while...

Monday, October 12, 2009

I Want To Run, I Want To Hide

Posted by Seeking Solace |

I am just so lost with this right now. Part of me just wants to bail and walk away. I don't think anyone would blame me under the circumstances.

That's what I've always done when things get rough. I run. I hide and wallow in sadness and depression.

I don't want to do that this time. But, I don't know.

The professional side of me says to stick it out and see what can be done. Perhaps I can teach in another capacity. At least it would be a paycheck. I could stick it out while looking for something else on the DL.

It sucks sometimes to be so damn ethical.

11 comments:

post-doc said...

I'm so sorry about this - it sounds confusing and awful, but I'm confident you'll find your way through (or out). Hang in there.

chel said...

Lately, I've been trying to remind myself to push through my comfort zones. If this is something you think is worth fighting for, maybe you should. At the same time, you need to balance your health concerns and all of other logistics going on here.

Astroprof said...

Wow. What a mess. Hang on, though. I'm sorry that this is turning out to be such a difficult situation. You deserve better. Hang in there, though. Things might turn around.

chel said...

PS and I meant *mental* as in what is best for you!

Good luck today.

RageyOne said...

Your feelings are totally understandable. You have been put in an awful situation.

I'm sure you will make the right decision for yourself.

Arbitrista said...

Sorry I'm late to this. It does sound like a terrible situation. But it sounds like you do have institutional allies, and if this person is so incapable, there might be an opportunity later for removing her. But if it's as bad as you say, a little discreet job searching doesn't sound uncalled for. Heck, it sounds like the people there would even understand (could it strengthen your position if you start looking for a new job openly?).

Kai said...

My advice is to walk away. All too often we deal with unnecessary drama out of obligation or guilt (at least *I* do!) when really it's just best to choose to be better than that and find something where YOU are valued instead of them "valuing" and rewarding blackmail or whatever. I say you tell yourself you are better than this and hold your head high!

GML said...

Oh SS, I am so very sorry you have to deal with this garbage.
Call me later if you want to chat.

AliceAcademic said...

I'm sorry that you're caught in the middle of this. Hang in there.

jo(e) said...

No advice here, but sending hugs.

Psych Post Doc said...

So very sorry to hear about this. I was really hoping this job was the one for you.

Subscribe