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Ijust don't know what to think about this woman. I just wonder if she will ever feel satisfied with the number of children she has. I also wonder what is going through her head when she says she intends to return to graduate school. I had a hard enough time taking care of myself in grad school and law school. I have friends who had children during law school and really had to struggle.
I don't fault her for wanting to be a single parent. I have spent enough time as a family court attorney to know that in some cases, it is in the best interest of the child to be with one parent. But, I just wonder if now is the right time. What about her depression? What about long term plans? What about the biological father? What about the other six siblings?
I am at a loss. I have so many rambling thoughts about this.
15 comments:
I am right there with you. SO confused. I keep hoping her interviews will bring some clarity, but I just keep getting confused.
Yeah, I saw that interview this morning and I'm confused also. I can't make heads or tales of the comments she made.
I have no issue with her having 14 kinds. If that's what she wants, more power to her. But, my concern is with the whole reasoning...or lack-thereof?? I just don't know.
she wanted to have kids....so she did the ivf thing. implanting all six seems fairly normal to me because they aren't all expected to take and if they do, I think many women will selectively reduce. so she happened to get a lot of implantations and didn't reduce...and there it is.
octuplets. wow.
I'm really confused and torn about this myself, thinking all kinds of thoughts that might be judgmental and not so nice. I can't imagine being able to manage (financially or emotionally) 14 children as a single-parent. But on the other hand, the number of children you have should be defined by your marital status and I'm sure there are many people who are married and get zero help from their spouse with their children anyway...
Then I'm all torn on the selective reduction issue. I'm not sure what I would do if I had 8 embryos take... it would be hard to terminate them... but I don't know if I could risk the possible long-term consequences of having multiple, premature, LBW babies.....
I hope her Mom continues to help... (Oh, and is she really going to support all of these children on the salary of a counselor?)
wait SHOULD NOT be defined by your marital status! MY bad!
Pyschgirl: That is a huge concern. With her protential earnings, plus student loan debt? I really worry that she will have a difficult time.
I'll come right out and say it: I think it's irresponsible. 14 kids? I realize I could take heat because it's not a nice thing to say, but seriously 14 kids? There's a point where we need to stop going after what we WANT because we WANT it and actually think about the larger picture.
I agree with Anastasia, I've heard that it's fairly normal to implant a lot of embryos, as they don't all take--especially if you only have one shot ($$) or are older.
I'm with RL. I've got kids (granted, a mere 2) but it seems irresponsible to me to bring so many children into the world without a visible means of support. One of the news agencies projected a cost of 2 million dollars for her to raise all 14 of her kids to age 18. Nevermind college. I can't believe any reasonable fertility specialist would've done the implantation knowing she already had 6 kids.
Yep. Judgmental is my middle name on this one. She's got the right to do it, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.
Frankly, I think it is irresponsible to give birth to that many children. In this economy , we should all be cutting back and reducing, not expanding. And in a world where there are so many children who have no parents or who languish in foster care, I think it is irresponsible to bring that many more kids into the world. I feel both irrespective of the number of parents.
My judgment increases some because she has no stable means of support. I fail to see how she will be able to afford child care for all of them while she goes to grad school, and wonder how she will find a program that will take these octuplets in the fall.
People who want that many kids, I believe, should adopt and foster.
And, btw, many responsible IVF programs restrict the number of eggs/embryos they will implant because many people do not selectively reduce (and it is a hard thing to have to do) and having that many children is exceptionally expensive (she had four L&D rooms and 45 doctors, right?) and the children require tons of medical care and are often born so premature they suffer cognitive and physical consequences - thus putting them at risk for needing special services for years, if not a lifetime.
I suspect she is trying for the next "Jon & Kate" spot in the country's wallet, err, I mean heart. She is lining up big $ interviews. And (like Kate) I am sure she is expecting state / federal support too.
It kills me that MOM is caring for #1 - #6 while this is going on. And I think they are all under 7. Her mom and (step)dad have enabled this and should have threatened to kick her to the curb for going thru IVF again. I cannot imagine asking parents to give up their lives for the 14 kids I want to have as a low-earning single mom. Well, no, I can imagine proposing this to my mom, and it makes me cower.
If she has such a big heart, blah blah blah, what would have kept her from fostering instead? Maternal urges assuaged to the degree / volume the fosters determined reasonable, and turnover would deal with the lack of attention span this woman has.
Please tell me they gave her a free tube tying...
All of you have said what I have been thinking. This is just crazy!!! Call it judgmental or being honest and realistic, these are legitimate concerns.
I can't help but wonder if DSS is going to be on her like while on rice. This is not like Angelina Jolie who has a shit load of kids and tons of money to have a nanny for each of them.
The other thought I have is that the human body was not designed to hold a litter!
The second part of the interview is on Monday. Should be interesting.
Ok, So I was worried being the first to say a judging comment but I'm in good company I see.
As much as I try, I just can't say anything positive about this woman. I am torn about saying anything, because I believe in reproductive freedom, but I also have a tendency to look negatively upon people who have huge families like that. Maybe it bothers me because many of these VERY large families use religion to justify it (having as many babies as god wants them to have), but this story bothers me just as much. On the one had, who am I to judge whether someone can take care of that many children, but there are reasons to be critical of this. Like shrinkykitten said, there are so many orphaned children and children in foster care that it seems selfish to bring so many more people into the world. You can also view it from an environmental perspective: children born and raised in the U.S. use more resources than children in other countries and it seems irresponsible to be having larger families at a time when we are reaching a crisis stage with climate change and everything else. But again, I come back to the notion of anyone telling anyone else how many children they should have and I am not comfortable with that idea, either. This story still disturbs me- I think it's the lack of personal responsibility that bothers me.
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