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That's one word to describe this situation. How in the world is she going to care for these kids!!!!
Another is selfish. She says that she is trying to fill a void because she was an only child. It seems to me that nothing would ever be enough to fill that void. It seems that it is all about her wants. I thought being a parent was about being self-less.
Another thought that crossed my mind is why hasn't she considered adoption or being a foster parent. I understand the desire to have children from your own seed, but there are just so many children out there who want to be loved and have a family.
What also bugs me is that she says that she will have her degree which will help with the finances. Um, her chosen career does not provide a huge salary to start. Also, she lives in California where the cost of living is quite high.
I just think the whole thing is just sad and disconcerting.
Finally, do not be afraid to say what you think about this issue. Unlike some bloggers, I respect all opinions, even if I don't agree (although all the comments as of late seem to agree with me.) All I ask is that you be respectful...otherwise, I will have to kick some ass. So don't be an ass clown.
OK folks....speak!
11 comments:
I think it is really sad. I've been questioning my own thoughts on these type of questions after the NYTimes article this weekend and in light of my love of Jon and Kate Plus 8. Though I like the show, I'm growing increasingly disturbed by how that show has become the center of their world and turned them more into celebrities than kids. Given the proliferation of shows about multiples on TLC I wonder if this is sad money making scheme. (somewhat in left field I know...but you've gotta wonder)
I too wish she had considered adoption or fostering, though I'm guessing her financial situation took her out of the running for both of those. She has NO concept of personal finances AT ALL. The one show I wish she would do is Suze Orman's. That would be an interview to watch!
It is interesting to me that she felt a void being an only child, but then chose to bring her children into the world with the void of having no father. I wonder if donor daddy will come out of the woodwork and try to cash in on all this...
Ok, I'm not holding back here... when she talks about feeling a void being an only child she reminds me of high school girls who get knocked up so "someone will love them." This is all about HER. I can't understand this for the life of me. Why weren't the first 6 kids 'enough?' What void is she really filling? Very disturbing.
Kai: Can you imagine the smackdown Suze would give her?!
I think she's mentally ill in some way -- having 14 kids doesn't prove it, but 14 under 7 does. Her physicians assisted her in this and they had a responsibility to refuse to do this with/to her.
If she'd tried to adopt or foster this many kids under 7, she'd have been denied. Heck, she couldn't even run a daycare alone with 14 kids under 7. That an objective physician would help her do this is completely irresponsible and worthy of having their liscense revoked.
At least if they physician objected they could have taken it to the hospital ethics board and people with more sense than the mom and her physician could have said this wasn't a good idea.
I don't know hardly anyone who considers adoption or foster care. Most people I know want babies, want someone to carry on the family name, or want to experience "the wonders of childbirth." When I did foster care, most people thought I was crazy.
I don't think this woman is all that different from a lot of parents out there. And I don't understand why she is getting flack so many other people don't, especially when they are in the same financial situation as she is.
Anonymous: I know of many people who have been in this woman's situation, medically speaking, who are considering adoption. One of my dearest friends is considering that option becuase of her fertility issues.
I am sorry that so many people thought that your fostering is crazy. That is so sad because I have worked with people who have received so much joy from being a foster parent. I hope you won't give up considering to foster or adopt because of some naysayers.
Also, I think she is getting grief from people who are in the same financial situation because it's a case of "been there, don't wish the same for you." Many feel that this woman is going to have a very difficult time, to say the least. I think many people are just shocked at how naive she is.
If she needs someone to love her, having kids isn't the answer. Get a dog or cat. She already has six children. That would be a large family for anyone else. If six is not enough, then neither will be fourteen. When the reality of trying to care for so many children hits, she'll be suffering from even deeper depression than before.
What she is doing to the kids is shameful. She has no job. How can she afford to take care of that many kids? Caring for one child is expensive. Caring for 14 would be astronomical. I don't know of many jobs out there that would bring in enough money to cover the cost of that level of childcare. And, if she were working, she'd need to arrange for daycare, rides to/from school, doctor visits, etc. She can't work a normal job if she has to take off a couple times per week to deal with a child emergency. And, daycare for so many children would be prohibitive even for fairly wealthy families. Is she planning for a college fund for them? What would it cost to send 14 people to college?
She has created a situation whereby these children will grow up in poverty on state assistance. And, if she drops back into depression when she realizes that 14 children does not fill the void in her life, who takes care of the kids?
Just to throw my hat into the ring. I don't understand why she's gotten as much flack as she has given there's families out there like the Dugger's with 20 some odd kids. I think that's sad and have to wonder what weird ideologies the kids are being home schooled by their mother who is either a religious zealot or addicted to child birth. You can't tell me all those kids get the attention they need. And, the whole business about them building their own home - I'm interested to know how they afforded it (give aways? endorsements?) and how that wasn't along the lines of child labor (given that building that big of a house is much more than just a father teaching his kids some basic skills).
(please don't kick my ass)
Abbey: I will not kick you ass. Your opinion is well thought. I guess I have issues with people who have a whole bunch of kids without understand the consequences.
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