The Waiting Room

It's December 31st.

Wait...WHAT? When did it get to be the end of the year?

I looked back at the past year of posts. If I had to describe 2014, I think I would describe it as bittersweet.

The bitter:

• I do not have a teaching gig for the spring semester. I am still employed at HBCU, but I am not teaching. 
• I was informed by PhD Uni that if I take any additional courses as a non-degree student, they may not be transferred into the PhD program. 
• I am really getting tired of being at home. It has triggered my depression, which is usually in check with antidepressants.

The sweet:

• I reached my weight loss goal in February. I lost 50 pounds in 17 months. 
• I lost and additional 3 pounds since then and still maintaining.
• I am in the best shape of my life and I really look fabulous. I am down to a small and a size 4, which I am really comfortable with for the first time since the RA and the weight gain started.
• The RA has been in remission for almost a year. It's been 11 months!  According to my RA doc, the weight loss has helped greatly.
• I ran my first 5K in October, finishing in 43.29. And, I ran the entire race.
• I maintained a 4.0 in my PhD studies and I am waiting to see if I will gain full acceptance into the program.
• Still getting great reviews on my teaching evaluationss at HBCU. 
• I had a positive conversation with someone high up at HBCU. No guarantees of anything, but it is nice to be validated. 
• Husband got a great new job with an awesome company. He is working on some really neat stuff.
• Junior is happy as always. His insistence of going for walkies and runnies are what has kept the depression level manageable. (You try telling an 88 pound German Shepherd that he is not going to a walk. They are herding dogs for a reason.)

So, it seems that the sweet is greater than the bitter. When I looked at this list, I felt a little better about my circumstances. I've been kinda down all December. Part of is my dislike of the holidays, although this year was better. I only had two meltdowns over family pressure and demands. Also, Husband and I stayed in Elsewhere over the holidays, which helped out greatly. The other part of my sadness was what I posted as bitter. All of this made December a little sad for me.

At the same time, I am super proud of what I was able to accomplish. I am trying to take control of my work and school situations and falling back on my tenacity. I want to make some things happen rather than letting things happen for me. We shall see how it all unfolds.

That will have to wait until next year.

But, I am hopeful.