Last year, Husband and I spent Christmas in Hawaii to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. It was the first time in our 20 year marriage where I felt like we could celebrate the holidays as a married couple.
It was wonderful. We had an amazing brunch at our hotel. Then, we went for a drive to see the amazing waterfalls on the island of Kauai. We hiked. We returned to our hotel for cocktails and a lovely dinner. We talked about our dreams. We laughed and reminisced. We enjoyed spending time together. The week was amazing.
It was also the first time that I didn't feel depressed or anxious during the holiday.
Holidays are hard for me. I haven't really enjoyed the season for many years. Most of it has to do with family issues and drama. Everything from family members who do not speak to each other, family members who lay guilt trips because Husband and I live far away and do not visit enough to "You don't have children, so you don't matter" crap.
This year, I was hopeful that Husband and I would have a quiet Christmas together. We visited family at Thanksgiving, so we were excited that Christmas would be ours. Both of us have the week off. We were looking forward to some downtime.
That is until Husband's BFF invited himself and his college-age kids to spend a few days at our house this week. So, instead of enjoying a quiet Christmas week with Husband and Junior, I am in a frenzy of cleaning, planning and stressing over how to accommodate three house guests that I do not want in my house. I even had a small panic attack in Target today. Husband is angry because he feels that BFF is taking advantage of us, which isn't the first time this has happened. To make matters worse, BFF's son has some issues that raise some concerns for us. There is drama between BFF and his kids that stems from BFF's divorce from the kids' mother.
Husband and I have agreed that there will be a start and end time for this visit, just like a check-in/check-out at a hotel. We have come up with some things to do, so that there will be a little idle time as possible. But, all of this is just aggravating me and depressing me at the same time. Husband is being supportive, but I think it is wearing on him too.
We also agreed on one other thing. Next year, if anyone asks, we will be on vacation.
Even if it's a lie.
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About Me
- Seeking Solace
- I am a college professor who is fumbling through the chaos of academia, rheumatoid arthritis, working on my PhD and just being a 40 something woman. I used to be a lawyer, which made me a snarky little person. I have a wonderful Husband and a German Shepherd named Junior. They help keep me sane.
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6 comments:
All good ideas, good luck!
I would have done that this time. You can always call and say that something has come up and you will be gone for one or two of the days they plan to be here. They'll never know the difference. And if they do, so what? They won't ask again. I'd do whatever you have to just to get out of it. And go out of town for a day or so -- enjoy a nice time at a hotel near home :-) Merry Christmas. Seriously, call them NOW - even if they're coming today. Head them off at the pass -- you can't help an emergency coming up.
Unfortunately, the wheels are in motion, so cancelling now is not possible. They are coming on the 26th and check-out is at 1 p.m. on the 28th. We told them that we have plans for Saturday afternoon and evening, so they will have to be out at that time.
That really sucks. Who does that? Oh, that guy. So ver rude. I hope the days pass quickly for you.
Excellent. I love it. Why you don't have a like content on your blog.
well I hope you will have your Family Christmas next year.
Merry Christmas.
Absence is my plan for Christmas 2014 as well.
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