The Waiting Room

This could take a while...

Monday, January 16, 2012

It Doesn't Make Me Happy

Posted by Seeking Solace |

I did something today that I thought I would not have to do for a very long time.

I started looking for another job.

Things at the college are not going so well. There are some changes that have me, along with several of my colleagues, looking for the nearest exit door. The level of frustration and dissatisfaction is through the roof. Morale is so low that we can see dead people. There is little to no communication along the chain of comand.

For me, there are some serious, unbloggable and un-FB things that are having an impact on my professionally and personally. Let's just say that there are things going on that are not OK with me as a professional and there are things that are starting to have an impact on my health. And, I vowed a long time ago not to let those things interfere with my health, values or integrity.

The sad part is that I really love what I do. I see the impact that I have on those who are a part of my program. I have rave reviews from most of those who matter in the hierarchy. I have allies at many different levels except for one, which has a lot of say as to how things are done. That person, I believe, does not like me. This person has done and said some things that have made me want to rip their still beating heart out of their chest.

Yep, that bad.

My thought was that I would do what I could to work with this person. But, after today, I am not sure if I can. Again, it's an unbloggable situation (sorry). I've dealt with this type of person before in this capacity. What I have learned is to protect myself from anything that can get me in trouble...and have a back-up plan, just in case.

A few of my allies have suggested that I have a conversation with this person about what is going on and my feelings about it. I am still entertaining that option. I am weary, because of this person's passive-aggressive nature. I am not confident I will get what I need from the conversation.

So, for now, I try to mind my p's and q's, keep doing good work and start looking around for something else.

Sigh, I was really happy.


Geeka said...

Always have an out. It's the only way you'll stay sane. And make sure that you take care of yourself: stress makes things worse.

itsprobablyphdme said...

I think this is one of the hardest parts of being a grown-up: knowing when the negatives outweigh the positives. I hope you can work through the difficult issues and get to a better place, literally and figuratively.

apparently said...

so sorry. I've been struggling to figure out if I need to do the same. How do you know when the negatives outweigh the positives? How do you know when the crazy at your uni is worse than the crazy everywhere else?

sheepish said...

Ugh, sorry to hear things are that bad. Good luck, though! I hope you find something that brings you more peace and happiness.

Seeking Solace said...

Thanks everyone.

It is having a little of an impact on my health, which is something I vowed I would never let happen again. Hence, the search for another job.

Apparently: I wish I knew the answer to that for both of us. It sure would make things a hell of a lot easier. ;)

Sherlock said...

I'm so sorry. Been there on a few occasions. It's good to look before you make a final decision that the situation is too bad to stay.

rented life said...

So sorry. Sending you an e-mail. I will keep fingers crossed.

Someone asked me if I want looking and I said I'm always looking. A student overhead me a nodded and added "Everyone should always be looking, something wonderful might be out there."

AliceAcademic said...

Sorry to hear things have deteriorated, but I'm glad you're taking action to look elsewhere. Hope something wonderful comes your way.