The Waiting Room

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Home Training Or Lack Thereof

Posted by Seeking Solace |

Growing up, manners were very important. My parents always insisted that my brother and I say "Yes, Please and Thank You". We were taught not to stick our nose into grownup conversations. We were taught not yell and scream at people in authority. We may have thought about it. Sometimes we even dared to cross that line, only to met with a look that could freeze hydrogen or felt the sting of punishment after the fact.

In essence, we were taught to be respectful. I like to call it "Home Training".

Sadly, I think many of my students never received "Home Training" or they forgot those lessen or maybe were absent on the day those lessons were taught. In any event, it makes it frustrating for me as an instructor trying to guide my students into the real world. True, there are people in the real world that lack "Home Training"; I've worked with a few. But, that does not give one carte blanche to act like you don't have any good sense.

I have students whose believe that the only way to communicate is to yell, whine or throw a tantrum. Some see any form of structure as "disrespecting" them or treating them like a child. Some are as brazen to believe that they are "entitled" to their degree, so why should they have to do anything other than show up.

I don't get it.

There are days where I sit in my office after an encounter with a student who lacks "Home Training" and I think "What the hell is wrong with you? I mean...DAMN (Nice tribute to Brazen Hussy). I wish I could record students when they act like they have lost their minds and play it back to them. Would they realize how absolutely stupid they sound?

Maybe, but probably not. After all, the first step to recovery is realizing you have a problem.

I don't put up with poor "home training" in my classroom. I am not an ogre, but I will not allow one to disrupt the learning process. I model proper behavior to my students in the hope that they will see the light. Some get it, some don't. I am thinking of having those who don't get it to participate in a "Scared Straight" session with some of my upper level students who do get it. Sometimes, hearing the message from your peers can help a person embrace the light. Or it could crash and burn.

Something has got to give. I refuse to send people out into the world without the proper knowledge and home training.

No way. Not on my watch.


Anonymous said...

Do you teach a lot of African American students? Because this defiance seems to be a very common aspect of Af-Am culture.

Sherlock said...

What's even worse? When I was teaching in K12, the PARENTS had no home training. So how in the hell could the kids have it? I'll bet good money that our college students have parents who had no home training. I often feel it's a lost cause. But then I don't care how they act elsewhere. They will damn well be respectful around me.

Seeking Solace said...


This kind of behavior spreads across all racial lines. Please do not pigeon hole one group of people by making such hasty generalizations. It makes you no better than those for whom I discussed in my post.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I am a "bad person" for pointing this out. You have answered my question. Thanks.

Seeking Solace said...

Anonymous: no one is suing you are a bad person. Ill informed, maybe. But not a bad person.

Anonymous said...

What am I not well informed about? Or am I asking a question that makes people uncomfortable?

Alice said...

Yes, same problem in my classes. I am so glad you're determined to help these students. So many instructors just let things slide. Obviously, you truly care.

Seeking Solace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

anon, you can come sub for me in my white classroom and see that the behavior is pretty common there too. I think this is more of a generational shift than a race issue. -RL

Anonymous said...

I teach whites, blacks, hispanics, young, old. I do see some of this defiance/lack of manners there. This is another lost generation I am afraid. I admire what is being done, with the modelling. What more can you do.