My mom and I were having a conversation this evening:
Mom: Did you get the card from Nephew?
Me: He sent me a separate card?
Mom: No, it was an envelope with his school picture in it. There was a note.
Me: I did get the envelope with the photo, but I did not see a card or a note.
Mom: Well, it was in there.
Me: Honestly, Mom, I didn't find a card or a note.
Mom: Well, I'm telling you that it's there. He worked so hard on putting that envelope together. He wrote such a nice note. How could you have just thrown it out? (Note: my nephew is 8 years old and allegedly the note said "Love you, Nephew".
Me: Mom, I didn't just throw it out. I really didn't find anything other than the pictures.
Mom: Well, it was there. Now his little heart is broken becuase you threw out his note.
Crap.
I really didn't see a note. The pictures were between two pieces of cardboard, placed in a envelope that had a very tight fit. When I opened the envelope, the pictures slid through the cardboard. So, if there was a note, it could have been stuck to the cardboard and I wouldn't have noticed.
But, my mom could not stop going on and on about this. OK, I get it, the little guy put it together. But, I would never do anything intentionally to hurt him.
My mom just has this way of making you feel like crap for the most benign of offenses. If there is an opportunity to throw you under the bus for something, she'll do it. And, she has this way of talking to you that you mentally morph into the 10 year old version of yourself. You feel like no matter what you say, you are in the doghouse.
Why, or should I say, how are they able to do this when you are in your 40's? And, why can't I just brush it off. I mean, if someone else had said it, I would not give it much thought because I know I didn't do anything intentionally wrong. I feel bad about it, but it was an honest mistake.
So, why do I feel like I committed a moral sin?
About Me
- Seeking Solace
- I am a college professor who is fumbling through the chaos of academia, rheumatoid arthritis, working on my PhD and just being a 40 something woman. I used to be a lawyer, which made me a snarky little person. I have a wonderful Husband and a German Shepherd named Junior. They help keep me sane.
Paws to Consider
My Sister's Keeper
4 comments:
I'm sure it doesn't help but you didn't commit any kind of sin, here. Not that I can see. And why does the kid need to know about any of this anyway?
Anastasia: That's just the way my mom is. She can take the smallest misunderstanding and turn it into something major. And, she would say something to my nephew because it will make me look like a horrible person. She does this all the time.
Man, that's some serious guilt-tripping.
Call the kid and ask him how his Christmas was. And tell him how sharp he looked in his picture.
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