The Waiting Room

*Bonus points for song title and artist. Hint: It's my favorite.

The steroids have kicked in and I am feeling better. I managed to get some laundry done, work on my seminar notes and go with Husband and the Boy for a very short walk through the neighborhood.

Husband and I talked for a while today about my feelings with this flare. He reminded me that we still made the right decision to leave LESC. We are happier here, despite missing our friends. We both have good jobs that are secure and survived all the economy heinousness. We were able to purchase a house that we could not have afforded in LESC. We don't suffer from seasonal affective disorder in the winter because it is so much sunnier here. And most importantly, I am doing better here with the RA that I would have in LESC.

I know he's right. Sometimes, I just fall backwards and lose my resolve. Just when you think you have won the battle and can bask in the bliss remission, I fall back into a world of joint pain, inflammation, fatigue, depression, anger and frustration. But, I also know that I have to allow myself to feel the feelings that I have, not wallow or stifle them, but let the be what they are. And I know it doesn't matter where I live, what I do or don't do, flares will happen. Sometimes, there is just no rhyme or reason for them.

For today, I let the moment win. Tomorrow the fight begins again.