The Waiting Room

Ragey wrote a post about evil people. I wanted to continue on that thought, as I have my own dealings with one very evil person.

I like to cam them “Evil Doers”. Evil Doers are people who are miserable, for whatever reason. In order for them to feel better about themselves, they belittle those around them. They cannot stand to see someone happy, successful or doing better than them. The goal is for the evil doer to worse than she does, thereby making her feel better about herself.

It’s a sickness.

I have encountered many people like this in my life. I have ex-friends, co-workers and supervisors that can be classified as being an evil doer. I have family member that fit that bill as well. They are everywhere. It’s like a virus. It’s hard to get rid of, and there are more powerful strains out there.

As I see it, the remedy for dealing with an Evil Doer is to show them that you are untouchable. You cannot be drawn into their web of heinousness. You will not bow to them. You hold the power.

Not so easy, right? Our natural response to an evil doer is to either fight or flight. We try to fight their attempts to make us feel like crap. But like my Daddy used to say “You can’t into a pissing match with an asshole.” It’s true. You will not win a battle of “wits” with an evil doer, for they are output only people. They do not see their way as being wrong, as it feels good for them to make others miserable.

The flight response is where we internalize what an evil doer says or does. Whoever said “Sticks and stones make break my bones, but names will never hurt me” was a delusional idiot. Words are like that annoying song you can’t get out of your head. When we allow ourselves to succumb, we end up depressed and questioning our own worth. Meanwhile, the Evil Doer is sitting back smiling in the glory of another conquest.

It has taken my many years to realize this. When I think of all the time I wasted worrying and being depressed about what an Evil Doer has said or done to me, I am furious. How could I give away my power like that? Well, no more.

Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one makes you feel inferior without your consent.