The Waiting Room

Remember this person? Well, prior to her rude and insensitive comment, I agreed to work with her on a presentation to the HMFIC at College regarding the status of adjuncts. We were supposed to present our platform tomorrow, but I just sent her an email telling her that I could not attend because I re-injured my ankle.

Total lie...sort of. I didn't re-injure my ankle. But, I am having problems with it. Walking for long distances can be painful. (I am still such a lawyer...I can twist the truth to suit me!)

When she and I met to discuss our position, we were definitely on the same page with respect to what we would like to see change for adjuncts. Some ideas could be implemented quickly, like an adjunct liaison who would attend faculty meetings and report back to fellow adjuncts so that they will feel like they are in the loop. But other things like a pathway to some sort of full-time position or even better accommodations, would take time and are most likely out of the HMFIC's hands.

But she and I have a very different approach in presenting our plan. My colleague is extremely confrontational and does not mind name-dropping or pushing her agenda. I think she wants things to happen now.

That is so not my format.

One of the things I learned from my days as an attorney in the corporate world is that this type of attitude will get your ass handed to you. One cannot go into a situation like this and expect the world to be handed to you. And one has to check her ego at the door. It's a give-take negotiation process. One has to provide a HMFIC solutions that are reasonable and will not cause too much conflict. Also, some of the issues we have would must likely be delegated to the HMFIC's lackey, who makes Attila the Hun look like a teddy bear.

Not good.

I tried to explain to her that negotiation is the best way to go. Plus, we would need to provide solutions, not just a list of grips. Also, there is the strong chance that everything we say will be sent to the Lackey and nothing will change, except for maybe being added to the Lackey's shit list. But, I don't think she heard me. Or she heard me, but somewhere between the ear and the brain, the were technical difficulties.

I am afraid of what may come of this meeting if my colleague goes into her rants. I am afraid that I will be spending time covering my ass to protect my job. I know all to well what it's like to piss off the person who controls whether or not you get paid.

I like my job an I would like to keep it, thank you very much.

At the same time, I don't want to abandon the prospect of making changes for adjuncts at College. Many of these changes could be beneficial to other faculty members who are full time but do not have tenure-track positions. It would make a better environment between faculty and administration.

So for the sake of my job and my sanity, I lied. I lied becuase there was no way in hell I would be able to tell her the true reason...that I am afraid she could single-handily sabotage my career. That I am still pissed about her comment, even though she would most likely be oblivious to the fact that her comment was rude. And, that could possible ruin any chance for positive change.

Hell yeah, I lied.