The Waiting Room

This could take a while...

Monday, March 03, 2008

This is MY House

Posted by Seeking Solace |

In my preparation for my meeting with Junior and his parents. I decided that I was going to focus on what to do to move forward, rather than trying to resurrect the past. Meaning, that I was not going to let Junior make up any of the back work that he owed me. It a violation of the late work policy in my syllabus, which by the way basically says that unless a student has made prior arrangements because he or she was in the hospital or jail, I would not accept any late work. Also, allowing Junior to get a second bite of the apple is unfair to those students who did the work, despite having problems of their own. What that meant for Junior is that he is at a deficit, grade-wise. That doesn't mean that he can't finish the semester with a passing grade, but it will required serious hard work on his part. I figured I would mention the option of withdrawing from the course, in order to preserve his GPA.

I also told myself that this meeting really should be between Junior and me. I am being nice by letting the parents sit in because they have the FERPA waiver. If the parents try to "helicopter" or bully me in any way, they will have to understand that they are in MY house and when you are in MY house, you play by MY rules.

So with that mind set, I went into the meeting. I kept my eye contact with Junior the entire time. I asked him about his numerous absences, which were caused by a case of mind over mattress where the mattress won each time. I gave a short spiel about responsibility and what being accountable meant. Then, I dropped the bomb about not letting him make up the work. I explained my reasons for this decision and gave him the option to stay or withdraw from the class. I told him that he would have to discuss any consequences of withdraw with his advisor.

He was not too keen on the withdraw option. So, I gave him the bottom line and told him what he needs to do. I stress seeking help from me or the Tutoring Center. His parents did chime in with "Are you sure you can't let him make up the work?" I told them that I would not do that, and it was not open for debate. We ended the meeting with a promise from Junior to get to class and start working.

That was it.

I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns on this one. I remained assertive without being arrogant or a push over. I think it helped that so many people had my back on this one. At my last school, I would be expected to just roll over and let the student make up the work. But, that was then...

But I wonder...

Will Junior show up for class on Wednesday, or any other day?
Will he complete the remaining work?
Will he pass the course?

Stay tuned to find out the answers to these and other thought provoking questions.

11 comments:

Dr. Brazen Hussy said...

Good for you! I'm interested to hear what happens next.

M in my diary said...

I think it shows enormous restraint and I'm amazed you could keep your cool; I don't believe I could, and I would be so very upset if I had to allow parents to be involved. Hopefully, he'll redirect and get back on track!

k8 said...

That sounds good. I'm actually impressed that the parents only asked once about letting him make up the work. That makes me feel like they are reasonable - they probably felt like they had to ask but they didn't push it. They probably also know all about Junior's work ethic or lack there of. While I think it would be best for him to work out these issues himself (and experience failure if necessary), I can understand their desire to help, too. I know it was difficult for my parents to watch my sibling fail, but watching that him/her work hard and regain some direction in life was probably worth it in the long run.

Geeka said...

Go you! That was awesome ground-standing.

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Good for you!! I suspect the parents sensed you weren't about to be intimidated by them -- maybe JR will get his act together and pass the course...

Just remember, every semester has drama -- JR is yours this semester.

Joy said...

I am proud of you. :) Doesn't it make it great that you've moved on from your old employer? And remember how you were so upset for having them let you go as they did (unfairly).

If they hadn't- you wouldn't have had the opportunity for your better university!

Thanks for cheering me on at my blog. :)))

Alice said...

Way to go! Hope Junior gets his act together, thinking of my own sophomore brother...

Seeking Solace said...

Thanks everyone!!!!

Righteous Babe: Yep, I did.

RageyOne said...

good that you stuck to your guns!

comebacknikki said...

Good for you!!

JustMe said...

go seeking solace!!! and yah, i wonder what junior will do now...

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