The Waiting Room

Yesterday, I power walked 2 miles in 35 minutes!

I am very proud of that. It has not been easy for me to get to that level. In my younger days, I was a runner. In high school, I was a state-wide ranked sprinter. Unfortunately, leg injuries kept me from continuing my running career in college.

I often wonder in my leg problems were a sign of what was to come, meaning the Rheumatoid Arthritis. Even before the RA was officially diagnosed in 2000, I noticed that running was just too painful. Once I got the diagnosis, working out in any capacity has been a challenge. RA is an autoimmune disease in which the joint lining becomes inflamed as part of the body’s immune system activity. So, my body is attacking my joints because it feels it needs to do so. The pain can be so bad that I cannot walk.

The meds that I have to take don’t help matters. When the illness gets really bad, I have to take steroids. We all know what that means…instant weight gain. That leads to a host of other problems like depression.

I have tried for the past six years to find a balance with exercise. I have tried water aerobics, yoga, and other cardio as a means to get fit. My doctors say that working out actually helps when the disease flares. But it’s hard to get motivated when you in that much pain. Then, I end up feeling like crap because I weigh 40 pounds more than I did when I graduated law school back in 1996. Back then, I was fit, had great curves and even did kick-boxing.

But for some reason, this time is different. Maybe it’s the mild winter. Maybe it’s GML and LB pushing me to walk on the treadmill, even if it’s only at 2.0 miles per hour on days when I would rather lay on the couch. Maybe it’s Husband’s encouraging words to go with him on a walk with the Boy. Or, maybe I am tired of this disease controlling me.

For the first time, I feel like I am controlling this disease.