Ever since I lost my job and Former College and had the blowout with my MIL last year, I have been seeing a therapist. I was extremely depressed at the time and needed to get some perspective. My therapist is a wonderful woman who is about my age and is a huge animal lover. She is also very easy to talk to and very attentive. She does not but in. She just allows me to talk and helps me find the answers I need.
I am at the point where I only go once every couple of months, just to check in. It's kind of nice because I can get a fresh perspective on things that are going on.
Today, we talked about what happened at College and the RA flare. I told her about how it seemed like I was the only one that was willing to come up with solutions to canceling classes and the apparent lack of empathy regarding my situation, espeically how I was sitting in the meeting in full RA flare.
After all of that, she made an interesting observation.
"Making accommodations is inconvenient. Expressing empathy is inconvenient. There is probably nothing you could have said or done, short of just telling them that you quit, that would have made a difference becuase you don't fit their perceived mode of how an instructor should be."
I was trying to find the right word to describe the whole situation and Therapist hit the nail on the head. Inconvenient. Yes, that describes it perfectly. It's too inconvenient for anyone to come up with solutions, becuase that would mean someone would actually have to get off their ass and doing something. Instead of confronting the issue, it's just easier to threaten job termination. Instead of looking at the positive qualities one brings to the table, it's easier to say insensitive things about the person. If one does not follow the Stepford-esque mold, that person is deemed a troublemaker or unworthy.
Yep, that describes it.
About Me
- Seeking Solace
- I am a college professor who is fumbling through the chaos of academia, rheumatoid arthritis, working on my PhD and just being a 40 something woman. I used to be a lawyer, which made me a snarky little person. I have a wonderful Husband and a German Shepherd named Junior. They help keep me sane.
Paws to Consider
My Sister's Keeper
6 comments:
Yep -- just like it is inconvienient for the administration patriarchy to consider creative alternatives to family challenges when more than one parent works...
I really find their attitude unhelpful. My mom is a nurse and has been a nursing supervisor for a long time. Her theory of managing people is that it is her job to help them to do their job in the best way possible. If that means occasionally accomodating something invonvenient, then that is the way it is-- it has been her expeirence that those kinds of situations create a lot of loyalty from the employee -- who will then pay back the hospital many times over.
It is too bad your administration failed to take the opportunity to think outside of their own little box -- if they'd helped you find solutions, you would have done more for them in return... as it is, you are location shopping and planning to leave them -- as well you should.
you and I both know it's too inconvenient for them to keep people who actually want to be there. Otherwise I'd have a permanent job.
RB: God forbid that would happen. Here's to mediocre!
I've been out of the loop for so long- wanted to drop by and say hi. :-)
I've been here at the library for almost 4 hours! Yikes. I've read some blogs, did on line banking, paid bills, read Dear Amy (columnist at the Chicago Trib- and all comments people love to add!) and other stuff!!
Your meeting sounded stressful to deal with- on top of your pain. If they got it, they'd act differently. They just don't and that is a shame!
I think I need to go home! Oh, BTW, I had the interview with the principal and it went as well as to be expected with a telephone interview. I will hear by the end of the week!
Relationships are filled with inconveniences - in families, friendships and work environments. In fact I've often found it inconvenient that my students don't all learn by just reading the assigned text and listening to me talk, instead I have to find ways to engage them, find out where they are and meet them halfway. I'm sure they find me equally as inconvenient in numerous ways.
Imagine if we treated our friends, families, colleagues and students this way.
Everyone needs a therapist once in a while. And you don't need to go to a paid therapist. A friend, a classmate, a brother can be a very effective therapist. Sometimes even better.
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