The Waiting Room

I live in a suburb of Lake Effect Snow Central that publishes a weekly newspaper. Along with news, community events and other typical newspaper stuff, there is a section known as the Police Blotter. The Police Blotter contains some of the more unusual and hilarious police calls for the week. Some of them are just LOL funny. Some gems include:

~A man called to report a group of youths administering a "wedgie" to another youth.

~Police were called to a fast food restaurant because a woman complained that she received a single cheeseburger instead of a double cheeseburger. Police advised the woman that they were unable to assist her because she ate the evidence.

~A resident complained that a neighbor's vacuum was too loud.

~A resident reported hearing what appeared to be people yelling. It was later learned that the neighbors were watching a Steven Segal movie with stereo sound.

~A resident called police regarding a pair of underwear found hanging from the car's antenna. It was noted the the underwear was "stained".

~A resident complained about a trio of baby raccoons climbing a tree in his front yard.

You can't make up this shit!