The Waiting Room

I checked my email this morning and I found the read receipt from the director of the paralegal program at my former college. So, let the waiting begin.

I am a nervous wreck right now. I can't concentrate on anything. I wrote a post about this, but accidentally posted it on the Active Academic. When I realized what I had done, I deleted the post before copying it to this blog. Crap.

Also, I can't stop thinking about the what the Bitch may or may not say. My fear is that she will be vindictive, instead of looking at my record as an instructor. She cannot blast me for my record as an instructor, but she can use some of our differences and disagreements as fodder.

A couple of colleagues have emailed me to say that hey will put in a good word for me. Even the son of one of my colleagues, who also was a student of mine and works on campus, said he would put the good word out. And I am sure if the director looks at my reference list, she will see that the former dean, who is now the Dean of Curriculum for the entire college is listed. That should give me some cred, right?

But, the pessimist side that pretty much rules my life knows that this is just a game. There is no guarantees. I don't want to get my hopes up. If it does not work out, it tells me two things. One, it tells me that these people wouldn't know a good professor if they showed up gift-wrapped. And two, there is something better out there for me.

So, why am I such a nervous wreck? Gah. I think I will go work out to get rid of some of this anxiety.