The Waiting Room

I am really tired today.

Husband and I spent 2.5 hours on the phone last night with a very good friend of ours who is having serious martial problems. He wants to go for counseling, but his wife refuses. He has tried everything to make things work. She is either unwilling or unable to meet him halfway. What makes matters worse it that the couple has two children that our friend feels are suffering from all the turmoil.

Our friend wants me to help him find information about filing for divorce in the state where he lives. He hopes that it will not come to that, but he does want to know what hoops he will have to jump through if the worse case occurs.

I told him that I would talk to some of my lawyer friends and see if they know of any attorneys in his state that would be able to help him. I also told him that I would provide him with some general information. But, I really want to keep my involvement as a support figure rather than a legal one. First, because there is a conflict here, since this person is a friend. I do not handle issues for friends or family. Second, there is the emotional connection. When I would represent people in divorce matters, I could distance myself from their issues. It's a whole different matter when it is someone you know and care about is involved. You can be objective, but it has been my experience that friends do not want you to be objective.

In any case, divorce, or even the thought of divorce, is not a pleasant thing. It's tough to see someone you truly care about go through something very intense. I just hope our friend can get through this.