I had a date night with Husband. He is under the gun, working on a project for Big Software Company. So, we decided to take a break and catch a movie and dinner. We saw “Walk the Line” , which is about Johnny Cash. Phenomenal movie. A definite must see. Dinner was Mexican: Margaritas and quesadillas. Delish!
Back to the grind tomorrow. Only a three day week. Attendance will slowly dwindle by Wednesday. Thursday, Husband and I will enjoy Thanksgiving together. Friday, it’s off to Redneckville to visit the family. At least we grew up in the same town, so no arguing over whose family to visit. But the Boy has to go to the kennel. Mom is not allowed to have pet at her place. In-Laws refuse to let the Boy stay, despite the fact that he is crate trained and more obedient than most children. Our niece and nephew will be there and they are deathly afraid of dogs. Not because they had a bad experience, but because they have never been exposed to them. They are four and five. There are two things that children should not be afraid of: water and dogs.
I think I should be allowed to bring the Boy. He is very sweet and excellent with children. I am training him to be a therapy dog, so he is used to being handled.
My motto is: love me, love my dog. What do you think? I would love to hear from both human parents and dog parents.
About Me
- Seeking Solace
- I am a college professor who is fumbling through the chaos of academia, rheumatoid arthritis, working on my PhD and just being a 40 something woman. I used to be a lawyer, which made me a snarky little person. I have a wonderful Husband and a German Shepherd named Junior. They help keep me sane.
Paws to Consider
My Sister's Keeper
4 comments:
First off, I enjoy reading your blog…This is not meant to sound as strong as it does. It is meant in a much more subtle and toned down vein but because it is direct, it may sound like an attack on your value systems. I assure you it is not, just a perspective from someone who has been on the receiving end of pet visits. The appropriate level of this would be internal thought processes should I be posed the question you have raised. Outwardly, I would initially blow it off if you showed up at my doorstep with your dog but I would indeed ask you to keep it home next time you visit. "Love me, love my dog"... It begs the mild question. Why would you want to force your value systems on others with a statement like this? It sounds so… conditional and selfish. Maybe they just don’t want a furry critter in their home. I assume you expect your dog to have house access just as the humans would. Well, to some, it is not a human although you probably feel it is part of your immediate family and by this expectation should be treated as such. Animal lovers often don’t get it that many of us do not feel the same as them, regarding their pets. People who do not own pets do so for a reason which is not always apparent. Hair, fleas, odors, animal waste, loss of control of ones own property as your furry friend would likely wander throughout someone else's home. The list could be extensive. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against animals but I chose not to have one for these many reasons. When I visit my friends, I happily tolerate the animals they have as a normal respect for my friend’s wishes. I don’t care for them in the house but if I want to respect my friends in their own happiness, I must abide by their wishes of happiness of pet ownership. (I have, in the past, owned dogs but my dogs were always outside dogs and got rid of them when the first child was born) These friends kennel their animals before coming to visit me as they remain considerate to my personal desires for my own home. They do this for everyone as they are just considerate people. If they were to choose to bring their critters anyway, I would say something and they probably would not be invited back if they forced the issue nor would we remain friends for very long as I would deem their lack of simple respect for my wishes as a sign they really didn't care much for my needs as a person. Who needs friends like that? They feel their animals are part of their family and swoon over them as children (now empty nesters but always had dogs). I do not share the same perspective. A dog is a dog to me; not a child but, if it makes them happy, who am I to judge…As an exercise so that you as a dog lover may see the world from another’s sandals, substitute any of the available live critters from big hairy spiders to rattlesnakes to turtles to piranha that many people keep as pets. Some people often also feel these critters are an integral part of their family. Should they arrive at your doorstep for a visit with critter in hand if they have the same attachment to their pet as you? Do you believe it still appropriate for them to bring the pet rattlesnake they have hand raised since a hatchling for a visit? The learning value of such a pet for children could be equally argued as your fluffy dog. I realize that the comparison is different but not that much to some people. Personal consideration is what friends or families provide to one another.
firetillr
I think it's too bad that your niece and nephew won't get a chance to play with your dog. I don't have a dog myself but my kids are used to dogs because they have spent time playing with the dogs that belong to my siblings.
But I think you have to respect your in-laws' wishes.
Thanks so much for your input firetillr and jo(e). I appreciate your comments. And don't worry, I don't take anything personally or as an attack on my values. Sometimes it helps to get a fresh perspective on an issue.
I think you have to respect their wishes. And no matter what your philosophy of child & dog is, this may not be something they are ready to deal with as parents (and likely would make the holiday an unpleasant one for them -- moreso than how unpleasant it would be for you to not bring the dog). Is this the time for them to deal with the fear? Or maybe another time would be better?
As a child, I was terrified of dogs. Not that I wasn't exposed. I had been bitten and growled at by some not-so-nice dogs and that made me very nervous and skittish around them. Visiting people with dogs was always a nightmare for me, and I'd always hide behind my mother.
Even as an adult, I'm skittish. I don't mind being around dogs in general, but I get upset when people think I should be OK with dogs jumping on me, licking me, etc. Heck, I don't even want to touch 99% of them. As much as I know most of them will cause no harm, I also know that some of them have that potential. (The same goes for people, but I personally feel I can read their instability better, and most of them don't try to jump on me and lick me in social settings, y'know?)
That said, I see it from the other side, too. I have delightful parrots but I keep them in their cages when I have visitors. Many people fear a bird attack, which I know isn't going to happen but I respect their needs to feel personally safe and keep the birds locked up for that reason. It just seems better for them and the birds, both.
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