A Return To The Waiting Room

No One Taught Them Ettiquette

2012-01-26T11:18:00.001-05:00

It doesn't take a Miss Manners to know that there are certain things that you don't say to a person. But, it seems that certain people on my campus were either absent when manners were taught or are just to clueless or arrogant to think that it matters.

A few people, myself included, have heard some things coming from administration that just make me wonder if there is an epidemic of a lack of "home training". We often talk about students saying things that are just down-right rude. But seriously, people. professionals should know better then to respond to a reasonable request with a "LOL". (For the record, this happened to a colleague).

Really?Is that an attempt at snark and/or sarcasm?

In either case, it's a major FAIL.

Surfacing

2012-01-24T09:15:00.000-05:00

I am finally feeling better today. The steroids have kicked in and I think I killed the cold virus using Zicam and NyQuil.

But guess who is sick now? Junior! He has a little gastrointestinal bug that I think he caught at doggie day camp. Just like human kids bring viruses home, so do canine kids! He will be fine is a couple of days.

Meanwhile, things on campus are just, well, going. We had visitors yesterday, who were making sure that the college was following all accreditation guidelines. I am guess my program did fine since the person who interviewed me only spent about 10 minutes talking to me about the program and no one bugged me for any additional documentation or explanations. I will find out more when I go to campus later this morning.

Classes for the most part are OK. We just started the new term, so it's too early to tell just yet. My Intro to Law students seems eager and excited. I have a lighter teaching load this quarter, but more administrative stuff to do. I actually don't mind the administrative stuff too much. I can shut my door, put on my IPod and actually get work done.

As for the "unbloggable" stuff, it's still there. Just don't know where to go with it just yet.

Enough Already

2012-01-21T12:14:00.000-05:00

Since the beginning of January, I've been sick in some capacity. It actually started over the Christmas holiday with some sort of sinus bug that lasted about two weeks. Then, it was the RA flare, which resulted in a 12 day steroid taper. Now, I am battling a cold. Also, I am so tired from the first week of classes and the added drama that is going on at work.

I slept until 11 this morning. I wanted to get up to go to my Saturday morning yoga class, but that just would not happen today. With all the craziness at work and being so sick and tired, I just couldn't do it. Maybe tomorrow, I will see if I can get a light workout.

I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Another Tricky Day

2012-01-18T21:49:00.000-05:00

The past three days have been a total blur. I had an awful battle with insomnia which resulted in my going to work yesterday with only four hours of sleep. And, I worked a 11 hour day. At least today was just a regular work day, but it was the first day of classes. Every time I would sit down to work on my syllabi, there would be a student in my office begging to change his or her schedule or begging for a grade change because their instructor "gave" them a bad grade or begging to be readmitted to the program because they were kicked out because of GPA or Satisfactory Academic Progress. Basically, it was a lot of begging.

Then, there were the faculty members who were confused about new policies despite a very detailed, step by step explanation of the policy. And, let's not forget administrators who need me to handle all of the world's problems because somehow I seem to know WTF is going on. Before I knew it, it was 5:30 and time for me to go home. I had to sneak out of the building to avoid the evening student ambush.

And the "unbloggable issue" is still there. I've sought counsel from one or two people I know I can trust. Their take on my perception of the situation is in line with my thinking. I am playing this one carefully, making sure to protect myself in the process.

Unfortunately, I had to start a 12 day steroid taper to help me through this stuff. The weather in Elsewhere has not helped either. It is rather cold and damp, which for those of us with RA is a good combination. Tie that in with all the stress and you have a recipe for disaster. I know that sometimes I have to admit defeat and take the "roids", but I just hate doing it. I am seeing my RA doc next week, so we will see...

In the meantime, I am testing waters and seeing what's out there. I really do love many aspects of my job and the majority of the people with whom I work. There is just a lot of crap going on that has got morale so low that you can see dead people. There are a couple of colleagues who have said to me, in confidence, that they are looking around and testing the water too. It's sad because there are so many wonderful and talented people where I work.

Husband and Junior have been the best. Husband is so supportive and know how little things help so much. He made me breakfast this morning and had Olive Garden waiting for me when I got home. And, Junior seems to have picked up where the Boy left off. He gently rests his head on my knee or snuggles real close to me. He also believes that doggie spit fixes everything.

That and Lush products are keeping me sane.

It Doesn't Make Me Happy

2012-01-16T20:47:00.000-05:00

I did something today that I thought I would not have to do for a very long time.

I started looking for another job.

Things at the college are not going so well. There are some changes that have me, along with several of my colleagues, looking for the nearest exit door. The level of frustration and dissatisfaction is through the roof. Morale is so low that we can see dead people. There is little to no communication along the chain of comand.

For me, there are some serious, unbloggable and un-FB things that are having an impact on my professionally and personally. Let's just say that there are things going on that are not OK with me as a professional and there are things that are starting to have an impact on my health. And, I vowed a long time ago not to let those things interfere with my health, values or integrity.

The sad part is that I really love what I do. I see the impact that I have on those who are a part of my program. I have rave reviews from most of those who matter in the hierarchy. I have allies at many different levels except for one, which has a lot of say as to how things are done. That person, I believe, does not like me. This person has done and said some things that have made me want to rip their still beating heart out of their chest.

Yep, that bad.

My thought was that I would do what I could to work with this person. But, after today, I am not sure if I can. Again, it's an unbloggable situation (sorry). I've dealt with this type of person before in this capacity. What I have learned is to protect myself from anything that can get me in trouble...and have a back-up plan, just in case.

A few of my allies have suggested that I have a conversation with this person about what is going on and my feelings about it. I am still entertaining that option. I am weary, because of this person's passive-aggressive nature. I am not confident I will get what I need from the conversation.

So, for now, I try to mind my p's and q's, keep doing good work and start looking around for something else.

Sigh, I was really happy.

And It's Getting More And More Absurd

2012-01-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

So, I found out why Major Project was put on the back burner. It seems that the people in windowless offices have decided to revamp the program.

OK...

They want to shorten the duration and/or change the type of degree that is awarded.

Um, there's a huge problem with that. It involves accrediting guidelines and state law.

Yep.

I made my concerns known to those in power, citing chapter and verse, why these changes would be a huge problem. And, these changes would put the students at major disadvantage when it comes to securing employment upon graduation.

Like people don't already have enough problems finding a job.

Seriously, folks. I wonder what people are thinking when they come up with these ideas. Do they even think to ask those who know what the rules are or have spent time in the field?

Excuse me while I bang my head on my desk.

Oh and FYI, no apologies for the Friday afternoon email either!

Obedience Training?

2012-01-10T21:45:00.000-05:00

Me: I am going to sign up Junior for his next obedience class. Do you want to take the obedience class with us?

Husband: Do you think I need it?

Me: Do you want me to answer that?

Zen-Wise Peaceful Gone Beserk

2012-01-07T13:06:00.001-05:00

This morning, I took a yoga class. It was the first time that I did yoga in a few years. I had been itching to get back into practice and found a class that met my schedule.

Things were pretty rough, RA makes it difficult for me to compete poses where I am resting on my knees or using my hands, like plank or even downward facing dog. Granted, you should not put all of your weight on those areas, but trying to balance just makes the whole process painful. With some modifications and some help from the instructor, I was able to complete the class. I really did enjoy it and I cannot wait to go back.

I left the class in a zen-like peaceful state. When I got home, I was ready to tackle the rest of my morning's to do list.

That is, until I checked my work email.

Now, I do check my work email on weekends. I know it sounds crazy, but as a department chair, I kinda have to make sure nothing has burned down or anything. That's when I saw an email from the new HMFIC saying that not only was our meeting regarding Major Project cancelled, the college would not be pursuing it at this time, and we would discuss it next week.This email was timed stamped at 4:30 yesterday. I left work at 2:30.

My zen-wise state went into full-blown pissed off.

First, WTF send an email like that on a Friday when you KNOW I am gone for the day? I mean, seriously, couldn't you have waiting until Monday or something?

Second, Major Project has been my baby for the past six months. I have spent a significant amount of time and energy putting this together. I have a great deal invested in it. Also, there are students who are relying on this happening. It is something that would be great for the students, plus make the program more competitive in the market. And now, with no explanation, the HMFIC is pulling the plug?

I am so pissed that I cannot see straight.

I did email the HMFIC and told him that I really couldn't wait until Monday to know what is going on. I have invested so much into this project, so the only humane thing to do is just to tell me WTF is going on.

We'll see if the HMFIC responds.

So much for going for a more zen-like state.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

2012-01-04T20:21:00.000-05:00

New year means new changes at work. We have all new system syllabi for all the courses, all new textbooks and an new HMFIC. It's a strange new world on campus.

I am curious about the new syllabi, particularly since I have the green light (again) to work on Major Project. I am concerned that the syllabi will not meet the standards that are needed for the Major Project. Sadly, people in windowless offices, who are not experts in the field, are making decision about courses in my program. I have suggested to those in power that perhaps it would be better for all programs if a person who perhaps had a background in a particular area should make decision regarding curriculum?

Just a thought....

Actually, I have approached a few people in power about this very concept. Perhaps, someone will listen.

As for the new HMFIC, I am still trying to figure him out. He seems to be more aligned with the academic core, which is a good thing. He also seems to be a "What's best for the bottom line" thinker, which can be both good and bad. Good in the sense that he will be concerned with whether the students have the necessary skills to be competitive. What's bad is that numbers do matter, so there may be some push back on "how" we produce those students.

Gotta give this one a little time to see how this works out.

I have a much lighter teaching load this quarter, which is great. That means I will have more time to devote to Major Project. But, there are some new responsibilities that were dumped in my lap, so even though I have a lighter teaching load, I will be super busy.

Wait..that's not very different now, is it?

Time to turn and face the strain...

2011 End of Year Meme

2012-01-01T11:04:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Anastasia for this one.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Listen to oral arguments before the US Supreme Court.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make them. See previous post.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

The Boy. :(

5. What countries did you visit?

None

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Less stress, more sleep and more time at home instead of working.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

11/2/11: The day I was sworn in to the US Supreme Court
9/3/11: The day the Boy passed away.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being sworn in to practice law before the US Supreme Court.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't think I had any.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Um, I have RA...I'm always ill in some capacity.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The Manolo Blanik shoes and the Armani suit! I am already saving for another pair of shoes!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Junior for graduating from basic obedience class!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I have a few people at work who really grind my gears.

14. Where did most of your money go?

See #11.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The US Supreme Court...seriously, it was amazing.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Anything by Adele.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier: Really, it's all pretty good.
Fatter: I've been slacking
Richer: I did get my end of year bonus.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercise. Reading for pleasure.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing and work.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Spent time with the family in Hometown.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Always in love with Husband. But, I did fall in love with a crazy German Shepherd-Hound named Junior. He is just the sweetest pup in the world.

22. How many one-night stands?

None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

House.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don't "hate" anyone. But, there are a few folks that I strongly dislike.

25. What was the best book you read?

Hmm, I can't think of one. I didn't read much in 2011, but now that I have a NOOK, I think that will change.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Adele. Finally, someone with some talent that is not manufactured pop crap.

27. What did you want and get?

See #11. I also got a NOOK. Oh, and my end of year bonus which I was supposed to get in July (Academic fiscal year is July-July).

28. What did you want and not get?

Cleaning lady to come to my house.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Again, don't know. Didn't go to the movies that much.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

43. And, I think I was at work.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

The whole Supreme Court thing. And, adopting Junior. It is so nice to have a pup in the house again.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Those of you who know me IRL, know that I am a classic when it comes to fashion. But, I think now I am moving toward more high end items. See #11!!!

33. What kept you sane?

Husband. He is my rock. And, my IPod.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Not my thing.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

There is a big issue in Elsewhere regarding same-sex marriage. People here need to get a grip and allow people to just be with whom they love.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Junior. He counts as a person!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 20011.

People come into your life for a reason. Once that reason is no longer needed or they have given you what you need to move forward, it's time to let them go. That's what I learned from the Boy.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive."

Running on Empty, by Jackson Browne

2012: Let It Be

2012-01-01T10:20:00.001-05:00

I don't make resolutions. Frankly, I find it rather cliche'. I mean you hear people say "I resolve to *insert bad habit*", and six to eight weeks later, that thing you resolved not to do, you suddenly start doing again. Now, I am not saying that everyone ends up that way, but for the most part, you know it's true. Just try going to the gym this time of year and then see how crowded it is around mid February.

I think Profgrrrrl has right idea. Over the years, she has dubbed the new year with a theme. The theme is how she wants to live for the new year. Over the past couple of years, I have followed in her footsteps, coming up with a theme for how I want to live my life for the new year.

Over the past week, I've been racking my brain, while sneezing and coughing, to try to find the right theme for 2012. 2011's theme was "Bring on the Wonder", where I tried to find new things to embrace and enjoy. And, I did try many new things and embraced new things. Some things worked, some did not. But, it was in the spirit of trying that fueled me in 2011.

For 2012, my theme is "Let It Be". Yes, the theme came to me as I was listening to that famous song. The end of 2011 had much uncertainty in my world. There have been major changes at work, which have me wondering about what my place will be. Over the holidays, I learned that my brother, whom I have not spoken with in seven years, suddenly wants to talk to me. And, of course, there is the day-to-day anxiety that fills my existence.

Hence, Let It Be. For me, it means that instead of racking my brain to the point of anxiety for an answer, I am just going to let things ride. I am going to allow whatever feelings I have to just "be". I am not going to censor or force any thought, feelings or decisions. I am just going to let things happen naturally. I am not going to obsess about the "what if's".

Now, that doesn't mean I am going to sit by and let things happen without having a plan. I am the type of person who always has a Plan B, C and D. But, in the past, I would obsess about what would happen and which plan I would need to implement. What I want for myself is not obsess over what I don't know, trust that I can handle anything and know that I always land on two feet.

The truth is, I've been able to do all of this. I just need to realize it.

Stick a Fork in Me

2011-12-22T19:23:00.001-05:00

I'm done. I've graded that last paper, project and/or presentation. I've submitted grades. The "Out of Office" message is on the voicemail and email.

I'm done until 2012.

Yippie!!!!

Numbers

2011-12-21T09:58:00.000-05:00

I'm still here. It's just that crazy time in the world of academia. Grading and whining, whining and grading. It just is what it is.

Although, I do find it amusing that students do not understand the difference between being one point and one percentage point between grades. I had a student complain to me yesterday that she could not understand why I couldn't add one point to her grade because that would make her grade a 90% instead of an 89%.

OK, first of all, I don't "give" points. One "earns" points. If you didn't "earn" the points, you will not "earn" the grade.

Second, you need to speak with the math instructor becuase clearly you were absent on the day he or she discussed percentages.

Numbers really don't lie.

Update

2011-12-10T18:11:00.001-05:00

The student I wrote about in the previous post emailed me yesterday. She thanked me for supporting her during her time at the college and pushing her to do her best. In the end, she wrote, it was her responsibility to do what needed to be done. She also apologized for letting me down, but she said that what was worse was that she let herself down. She made choices that, in the end, were her downfall. She said that was going to finish the term (We are finished on 12/21) because she wants to complete what she started. She said that when I told her that the knowledge she gained was hers and no one could take it away from her, had a very profound effect on her. She plans to continue her education in an online program at another college.

Wow. (And, in a good way).

I am so glad that she is going to finish the term. I really think that it will be a good thing for her to do. Too often, people want to cut and run rather than stick it out. Many of the students in the demographic I teach have done that all their lives. No one has ever asked them to step up and accept their fate. Someone has always caved in and let them ride. Or, if someone has tried to make the person accountable, it was more of a dressing down, rather than a real conversation that has the student really focus on what he or she did.

I have some thoughts on this, which I will post later. Right now, I am just too sick with this stupid cold to have a coherent thought.

In the end, I am feeling better about the situation (although, I do have a nasty cold). I know I did the right thing and I am very pleased with the way I presented it to the student. I think she truly took my words to heart. Choices are neither right or wrong. They just are what they are...choices. But, when we do choose, we also have to accept what comes with that choice. And sometimes, the consequence can be very painful.

I guess that's why they call it life. If it were easy, they would call it something else.

The Bearer of Bad News

2011-12-08T22:29:00.000-05:00

One of the hardest things I had to do as an attorney was tell people things that they didn't want to hear. Sometimes, the client would take the bad news well. But, more often than not, they would not take the news so well. I've had clients emotionally breakdown, scream and cuss me out. Once, I had a client threaten to kill me, literally.

Funny how my current role as a college professor/administrator is so similar. It's never easy, either as an attorney, professor or administrator, to tell people things they don't want to hear. Particularly, when it means that it is the end of the road.My academic peeps know from where I speak. We've all had the student in our office crying, begging and/or cussing us out over a grade or policy. All of us have our share of student meltdown mania. It comes with the territory.

My role as an administrator raises the bar. As the program chair, I have to tell students things that affect their academic career. And just like my role as the instructor, I've had my share of student meltdowns.

Today, I had to tell a student that because she has attempted way more credits than she has completed, it is mathematically impossible for her to complete her degree without resulting in significant debt. (My academic peeps know this as Sufficient Academic Progress). What this means is that she can no longer continue at the college.

This was not a surprise to this student. For the past year, I have advised, counseled and warned this student of what can happen if she does not complete her courses and stay on track. This term was her final warning. If she withdrew or failed any class, she was done. (She had already used her one and only appeal). Yet, she sat in my office begging and pleading with me to make the instructor for whom she was receiving the failing grade to let her pass. (Based on the instructor's calculations, even if she was to make up the work, she would still earn a failing grade based on her performance on the work she did complete).

This lead to a full-on tears and meltdown right there in my office.

It's not easy to see someone realize that it's game over. I honestly think she believed that she would get another chance. I tried to explain to her that although she made decision regarding her education, they were neither right or wrong, they just were decisions. And, when we make a decision, we have to live with the consequences of the decision, even if it means that the consequence is not what we expect.

I also reminded her that the knowledge she gained while she was at the college is something that is hers forever. She is richer for what she has gained.

For what it's worth, I hope she realizes that. Maybe not now, but it time.

'Tis The Season

2011-12-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

For me to be grouchy.

Why?

It's the end of the term and students are whinny.
I have lots of grading to do.
Just out of the blue, the HMFIC of my campus resigned this week.
It is rumored that the new HMFIC hates my program because of his interactions with the B back when he was the dean.
We are traveling to our hometown for the holidays and I detest having to deal with family for the holidays.
Since we did not visit last year, Husband really wants to go this year.
Because of the methotrexate, I can only handle one drink which means I can't get comfortably numb during the visit.

So, I've been going to the gym to help release some of the frustration. And, I've been working on Junior's obedience training too. That helps a little.

Students will be whinny. I limit how long I allow them to whine. And, grading will get done...it always does.

As far as the new HMFIC goes, I am taking a guarded approach. He doesn't know me from a can of paint, nor I know him. He has no idea about the hours of sweat I have put in make the department what it is now. I have good data to back me up, not to mention folks in higher positions from him who know the good work that I have done and continue to do. So, I guess I will just have to figure out what makes this guy tick.

Yet, I am still grumpy.

I can't change the family thing. I dread going through the mental preparation for it. I have to psych myself up, put on the social mask and pretend like I am so happy to see people, when all I want to do is rip their still beating heart out of their chest.

OK...maybe that was a little harsh. But, you get the idea.

I've never have unrealistically high expectations about the holidays. Actually, it's the opposite. I actually have much lower expectations. Usually, they are right on the mark. Seldom, have I ever felt like "Wow, that was not as bad as I thought." So, one would think that knowing this, I should not be stressed.

Right?

Yeah, not so much. I guess I just dread being right.

Sigh. Wake me up, when the holidays end.

Better Off Home

2011-11-26T09:32:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I love to shop. But, you will not see me anywhere near a mall, store or any retail establishment this weekend. The thought of dealing with the insanity and general heinousness of holiday shopping is not the kind of pain I need in my life. I would rather reserve for those who have nothing else better to do that sit outside and wait in line to fight over a $200.00 TV of which there are only three in the store. Those poor schmucks will feel pretty silly when that same TV will probably be marked down even more in about a week or so?

I could rant about the overall commercialization of the holiday season, how we celebrate giving thanks by getting more stuff, or how in order to help spur the economy, people have to work on Thanksgiving because other people need more stuff and the retail worker needs the paycheck.

Nah, wouldn't do any good. Until society figures it out, we will continue to do what we do because that's what works right now.

I'm just better off at home.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T09:47:00.000-05:00

Reality Bites

2011-11-21T10:53:00.000-05:00

One of the requirements for students to earn their undergraduate degree in my program is to complete an internship during their last term in school. Their courses do allow for real time application of their skills, but interning allows the student to have some "experience" and apply the skills that they learned in the classroom.

Students are not just "placed" with a particular site. They are vetted, meaning, I ensure that there is a good fit between the student and the site. I try to match a student's interest and skill set with those sites that are available. Also, being accepted by a site is not a given. the student must interview with the site and have the site "accept" them as an intern.

But what do you do when a student's skills, academic and professional, are lacking? And, when you have discussed these deficiencies with the student, they still don't get it? I have two students that I need to place in an internship next quarter. I have absolutely no idea where or with whom I will place them.

Student A has this habit of revealing personal information at inappropriate times. For example, when asked "How are you today?", this student has not problem telling people that she is doing well today because her bipolar medication is working.

She is not kidding, either.

We have discussed, at great length, how such comments are not appropriate in a professional setting. People may not be as understand about mental illness as we would like. She just doesn't get it.

Student B is very weak academically. She has ridden the "C" train through the program. (Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with a "C", I've earn a few "hard C's" in my lifetime,. But I understood the material and could articulate it). This student has issues with basic concepts (Which also begs the question of how is it that she made it this far...topic for another discussion). The student stated before I came on the scene. She just does not have the academic skills to do what is required. I, along with others, have tried to work with her, but information just does not stick. She started well before I came along to run the program. If I had been on the scene earlier, I would have advised this student to choose a different program, that is closely related to her current one.

I will be meeting with these students next week to begin the process of finding a site for next term. I hope that I can impress upon them how critical this step is in their process. Truth be told, I am afraid of the worse case scenario. What if I lose a good site because a student does not have the skills to be successful?

Sounds a little shallow, doesn't it? I even feel funny typing it.

And that's rare coming from someone who has not trouble saying what's on her mind.

But the reality is, I have to also think about what is best for those who are coming up on doing their internship. I can't have one person mess it up for the others. And, I have to think about the reputation of the program and the college. The legal profession is a small, insulated community. One bad experience could make things very difficult for future students.

Sometimes, reality bites.

Friday Dog Blog: Dog Tired

2011-11-18T15:18:00.000-05:00

Junior after his first day at doggie day camp!

Flares Happen

2011-11-15T16:19:00.000-05:00

After all the excitement and craziness of the last two weeks, there is only one way to top it off.

An RA flare.

Sometimes, you just know when a flare is rearing its ugly head. That familiar twinge of pain in the joints that is more than the usual pain level, the puffy joints, the extreme fatigue.

Sometimes, you don't. The flare just comes out of nowhere. You can't pinpoint to anything, weather, stress...nothing.

Maybe I should have seen this one coming. I've been super busy. But, I thought I was doing everything I could to get rest, protect my joints and other stuff.

But that's what is so insidious about this disease. You can do everything "right", follow the RA doc's orders, do all the self care. But, at some point, a flare is going to happen.

Now, don't think that I am down about this. In the past, I would be devastaed if I had a flare which required a 12 day steriod taper. I would feel defeated, especially after having such a long remission. Like clockwork, the depression would kick in and I would have to build myself up from that dreaded downward spiral of chronic illness.

I have reconciled a long time ago that flares happen. I try to remind myself that it will pass and I will be back on track. It's a part of the illness, but it does not control me. Yes, I have to repeat that mantra often, but I truly believe...

Flares happen.

Sabotage

2011-11-09T10:49:00.000-05:00

Last night, I made the mistake of checking my email at 9 PM. There was a message from my dean, telling me that one of my students and one of my instructors were in his office that evening. Seems there was an "incident" in class. Seems, the student was upset because there was a pop quiz on the reading assigned for that class. She did not read the assignment, and hence did poorly on the quiz. So, she blew up at the instructor.

About 10 PM, my mobile rings, it's my instructor. He told me that the student, who has a 4.0 GPA was convinced that the instructor was intentionally trying to sabotage her perfect GPA by giving a pop quiz. Never mind the fact that she did NOT read the assignment. She actually believes that this instructor hates her. This is despite the fact that she has done well in the instructor's courses and has learned a great deal from him.

OK, so now with the mountains of things that instructors must do on a daily basis, we are also responsible for sabotage of a student's grade?

I talked my instructor off the ledge. He was really hurt by the allegation. He is a great instructor and the students like him. He is tough but fair. I told him that as far as he and I were concerned. The student was WAY out of line on this one. To throw a tantrum over a blown quiz that was clearly the student's fault, means that this student has issues that have nothing to do with his teaching or giving the quiz.

The student is what I commonly refer to as a "Grade Whore". OK, it's a bit pejorative, but I think it's also accurate. We all have students who fight us for every possible point. Earning anything lower than 90% means that the world will end at any moment. These are the students who see failure as futile. In fact, this student remarked to my instructor that she was thinking about going to law school, but won't now because my instructor has made it impossible for her to do it.

Wasn't it Elenore Roosevelt who said "No one makes you feel inferior without your consent"?

Bottom line here. The student acted way inappropriately. She needs to take responsibility for the fact that she choose not to read the assignment. She was told at the beginning of the term that there would be unannounced quizzes on the assigned readings. She has only herself to blame. And, if she thinks my instructor was harsh, she will not survive law school or the workforce, for that matter.

And, she and I will be having a frank discussion about anger management. And that in the words of Winston Churchill "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

Supreme

2011-11-07T10:12:00.000-05:00

Last Tuesday, I traveled to Washington D.C. to be sworn in to practice law before the US Supreme Court. Although, I am "retired" from the practice of law and have devoted my life to academia, this is one of the true high points of my attorney career.
The cool part about being sworn in, is that the newly admitted attorneys are allowed to sit in the front row. I was right across from Justice Sonia Sotomayor. whom I was convinced was liking my red Manolo Blahniks. I could also see Justice Thomas, who NEVER asks questions during oral arguments, pass notes to Justice Scalia and Justice Breyer. The swearing in part took all of 30 seconds, although Chief Justice Roberts did provide a very nice welcoming statement.

The high point was having the opportunity to listen to oral arguments. There were two cases on the docket. Nothing of huge significance, but the cases were still interesting and important. As usual, Scalia was his crabby self. Justice Kagen asked the most questions. It seems that Justice Ginsburg is starting to slow down just a little. Mostly, I wanted to tell a couple of the lawyers to "move over" and let me argue this for them. They were just a little too "green". It was just amazing to watch the back and forth in person. I mean, I've read, researched and analyzed their decisions for 15 years. To see the action in person was amazing. Watching the justices pass notes, look like they were sleeping (Justice Alto) and push the attorneys with their questioning was something I will never forget.

My mom and Husband were in attendance. I know how proud they must have felt when they heard the court clerk read my name. I know I was. I am still in awe of the whole thing.

The Return of Friday Dog Blog: Watching

2011-10-28T11:55:00.000-04:00

Any guess as to what Junior is watching?

Business Hammock

2011-10-26T10:42:00.000-04:00

There is this episode of the Simpsons where Homer takes a new job for the Globe-Ex, whose mission is world domination. Of course, Homer doesn't know that. He thinks it's the best job ever. Anyway, he is managing a group of nuclear engineers who have been working long hours. He realizes that the guys need rest. So, he asks his new boss where he can find "business hammocks". His new boss thinks it's the greatest idea ever. He recommends several places to find business hammocks in the "Hammock District".

I need a business hammock for my office.

Seems that the people in the windowless offices are at it again. There is a new mandate in which department chairs are now responsible for finding internship sites for their students, monitoring the students while they are interning and so on. On top of my teaching schedule, running the program, advising students, working on a new certificate option for my program and seeking approval for my program by the Law Gods, and the other 99 things I have to do...when am I supposed to sleep?

Hence, the business hammock. I think I may need to move in to my office. Of course, Husband and Junior would not be too happy about that.

I really don't understand this idea of loading people down with obligations. In my not so humble opinion, it's the wrong way to save a buck or increase productivity. The interns were the responsibility of another department. But, they claim that they have too much on their plate, so it was decided by the people in windowless offices to transfer the pain to academic core. Besides, we in academics just teach.

Seriously dudes, unless cloning technology come through or I am granted an assistant, I am going crazy. I do delegate some responsibilities to my faculty, all two of them. But, they have a great deal on their plate also. And, I "heart" my faculty. They are great instructors and practitioners. They have great student retention. We work so well together, so the last thing I want to do is burn them out and lose them. Or, burn myself out.

Hmmm,..I wonder where the hammock district is in Elsewhere?

Big Bang

2011-10-24T09:10:00.000-04:00

If you heard an explosion sometime on Saturday, it was my VISA exploding. I ordered my outfit for the Supreme Court.

And, I ordered the shoes. They are a dark red.

I had to order the outfit online since neither the Saks or Nordstroms in Elsewhere had the suit in my size. And neither carried Manolo's. They had all the other designer shoes, just not Manolo!

When I looked at what it was going to cost me for all of this, including expedited shipping, I took a deep breath. Even though I had diligently saved up for this, there is still a bit of sticker shock.

I clicked on the "Submit Order" button, Nordstroms would not accept my credit card. At first, I thought maybe I typed in my number incorrectly. Nope. So, I tried again, Rejected.

WTF? I know that there is zero balance on my card because I never carry a balance. And there was no balance.

OK, third time is a charm....

Nope. Won't take my card.

That's when the phone rang. It was my credit card company's Fraud Detection Department. They were concerned about an attempt to purchase an Armani Suit, blouse plus a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. Did I authorize this purchase?

Yes, I said to the person on the phone. I am being admitted to practice law before the US Supreme Court. I earned the right to wear an Armani and a pair of Manolo Blahniks!

"Oh", the representative said. "In that case, congratulations. I will release you card immediately."

To be fair, I'm sure all kinds of bells and whistles went off when the computer saw a $2,000.00 charge like that. And, I am glad that my credit card company is so vigilant about protecting me. But, damn people, can't a girl indulge herself for a once in a lifetime event? It's not like I've ever been late with a payment. And, I have a huge line of credit because I've had the card since 1994. And, since I've been saving since June for this, the balance will be paid in full.

After all, it's the friggin' Supreme Court!

Meet Junior

2011-10-16T12:12:00.001-04:00

This is "Junior", our new pup. Just as the Boy had a pseudonym, so does Junior. Those of you who know me on FB and Twitter know Junior's real name. We named him after a character in one of our favorite movies.

Junior is a German Shepherd mix. We are not entirely sure what the "mix" is. He came from a rescue group here in Elsewhere that was recommended by my friend, Dr. C. The rescue group find dogs from kill shelters across the state. Sadly, kill shelters are common in this part of the country.

The rescue group said that not much is know about Junior's background. But, we do think he must have been someone's dog. He was fostered by a guy who loves German Shepherds, but travel too much to spend time with Junior.

This is the first thing Junior did when he arrived at his new home.

Junior is quite a mush. He loves to be loved. He loves to be outside and is quite inquisitive about everything. He has a very high prey drive. We found that our on a recent hike where he about tore Husband's arm off trying to chase the deer.

It is so nice to have a four-footed friend in our lives again. He is not a replacement for the Boy, just as the Boy was not a replacement for The Dog. Junior is another being to share our love.

And, we are so happy to have him.

First Monday of October Murmurs

2011-10-03T09:45:00.001-04:00

Husband and I went to the mountains for a couple of days of R & R. It was great except for the fact that we picked the coldest weekend to go. We left a day early because the RA was none too pleased with 39 degrees, rain and wet snow. It was amazing to watch the temperature gauge in the car rise 25 degrees by the time we returned to Elsewhere.
Poor Husband felt so bad about taking me to the mountains on a bad weekend. He is such a sweetheart.
Flare was minor. No need to break out the steriods.
New term starts Wednesday. I am still not over the last one that ended last week. Quarter system really sucks.
One of my students decided to transfer to another college. I can't say I am shedding any tears. Someone who spreads rumors about the goings-on at the college without any evidence to back it up (can you say "Slander"), despite being shown the evidence to the contrary, has no business in the college. Of course, that means he will spread lies in the new place.
New term means new mandates from the people in windowless offices that make no sense.
One of my favorite adjuncts will not be back this term. Seems that one of those people in the windowless offices felt that he gave out too many "F's" No, he was just holding students accountable.
Another of those people in windowless offices is supposed to observe me in the classroom this month. Apparently, this person is looking for "experts" in the field. I have no idea what this means for me, but you better believe I will have my "A" game on.
Why does Blogger eat my comments on some of my peeps pages? Deb and RL, I trued to comment but Blogger wouldn't let me!
My boys in Black and Gold have seriously disappointed me.
One month from today, I will be standing before the US Supreme Court taking my oath. I will probably never argue a case, since I gave up practicng law a few years ago, but still...it's so freaking cool!

Five Decisions

2011-10-02T15:27:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Brigindo for a great topic.

The Five Best Decisions I Ever Made:

Choosing Husband: I was dating a real jerk when I met Husband. Jerk couldn't decide between me and his Ex, so I ended it with Jerk. Husband was everything that Jerk was not. When Jerk found out that I was seeing Husband, Jerk trying everything possible to win me back. When Jerk said it's either him or Husband, I made my choice. Twenty-four years later, I am the happiest gal in the world.
Leaving Lake Effect Snow Central: OK, I miss my friends, good pizza and chicken wings, but I am so happy in Elsewhere. Health-wise, it was the right thing to do. I am making better money here than I would have in LESC. And, did I mention that the weather is WAY better in Elsewhere?
Adopting the Boy: He truly was a great dog.
Sticking it out with my job to see if the B would get fired: Those of you know that story. I could have walked away. But, karma has a funny way of working out.
Deciding to go with the biologic drugs for the RA: It has helped give me my life back. I just wish that there was another way to administer them. I hate needles!!!!!

20 Things That I Am Doing Instead of Writing a Blog Post.

2011-09-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Brigindo for the inspiration on this one.

Still fighting this cold/allergies/whatever the heck I have.
Aggressively treating the two cold sores as a result of #1.
Watching football.
Grading horrible student papers
Creating evil exams to get back at the students for the crappy papers
Fighting plagiarism
Conferencing with students who are planning to drop out.
Conferencing with students what classes they need for the fall term.
Going to meetings that leave me wondering why I am not working with dogs instead.
Planning for fall trip to the mountains with Husband.
Working out so that I can fit into my dream suit.
Online shopping for dream suit
Sleeping. Lots of sleeping because of #1
Watching What not to Wear and reruns of Sex in the City
Comforting my pal, M, who had a mild heart attack
Tutoring my students who are preparing for their certification exam.
Eating way too much take out
Bath time with Lush bath bombs (Thanks again, RL!)
Thinking about the Boy
Missing the Boy

A Change Would Do Me Good?

2011-09-21T09:53:00.000-04:00

My first job as an attorney was at a small law firm in Lake Effect Snow Central. The person whom I replaced left the firm because he had to do something new every three years. For him, the constant moving was a means to avoid boredom and falling into a rut. So, he decided to take a job at another law firm in a completely different area of law.

At the time, I thought this was crazy. I was raised to believe that you got a job and you pretty much stayed with that employer until you retired. That was what my parents' generation believed and they passed it on to me. Who wants to go through the hassle of constantly interviewing for a job, waiting for a response? How about having to prove that you are worthy to that new employer and colleauges? Ugh. The thought makes my head hurt.

As time went by, I found myself doing exactly what this guy did. I found that I had to move into a new position within an employer or find a new employer altogether. A couple of moves were involuntary. But, I found that after about three years, I had to reinvent myself and try something new. I get bored very easily. I am one of those people who thrives on a new challenge. Despite my bitching and moaning about stress, I truly thrive on the pressure. I like learning new things and being pushed to my intellectual limit. So, like that attorney I replaced a long time ago, every once in a while I need something new.

Truth be told, I think I am getting near the end of my teaching run. I don't love it the way I used to. If anything, I am bored. Every term, I try to come up with new ways to present and interact with students. But, that can only go so far at the level I am teaching. There is only so far one can go as an instructor where I work.

Of course, I could make the jump to teaching law school. And, there have been a couple of opportunities that have come my way. However, I am not sure I want to go that route. First, there is the whole tenure thing. I have some strong opinions about the process. Simply stated, I am at the stage in my life where I am done kissing ass to move up. I am not suggesting that all tenure track position work that way. But, my biggest fear is that I would have to sacrifice teaching excellence for meeting publishing and other related requirements. Teaching excellence is incredibly important to me.

That being said, I could go the administration route. I am sort of in that position right now. I am half faculty and half administration. Let me just say that the grass is not greener on the administrative side. I often ask, in the words of Dr. Greg House, "What kind of ginormous crack pipe have you been smoking" when there are mandates that come from the gurus in the windowless offices. There are more headaches, more hassles and more hours. I also worry that I would lose that connection with faculty and teaching.

Where is a poor Seeking Solace to go?

There have been some rumblings on my campus about major changes. I have been approached about some of those changes. I am not quite sure how I feel about them. The changes are for the good and would impact me in a very significant way. The question is: do I want to take that leap?

Maybe.

Monday Morning Murmurs

2011-09-19T09:24:00.000-04:00

I am cranks today.

I can't shake this cold. It's been a week and I still feel like crap.
No matter how hard I try, the pile of papers I have to grade doesn't get any smaller.
This is still making my life and everyone else at Elsewhere College stressed out. I am not teaching the course anymore, but it has put me way behind with grading.
I have absolutely no idea what to do with some of my students. You can't fix stupid.
People need to realize that I am no available 24/7. The last time I checked, I do not have "Open 24 Hours" written across my forehead.
How hard is it that when you state a premise, you have to back it up with something. And, you actually have to "CITE" the source from which you took the evidence?
My students seems to think that when the cite a case or statute, that I automatically know what the case is about and why it is relevant. Hello...do I look like Westlaw or Lexis to you?
Did I mention that I can't shake this cold?

Seven more days until the end of the term. Ugh!

Don't Try This At Home

2011-09-14T10:14:00.000-04:00

Well, I can put this term into the "Blows Honking Chunks" pile. It started off bad and just seems to get worse. Not just for me, but for everyone on campus.

The crème de la crème was that a faculty member resigned with only three weeks left in the term. No notice or anything. The faculty person claims that another employment opportunity surfaced and it required leaving immediately. To make matters worse, the faculty person left very little instructions for completing the six courses that she taught. And, she has virtually no grades for these courses.

Who the F**K does this?

Since I am the only person available during the day who is somewhat qualified to teach two of the courses, I was asked to fill in for a couple of days until a full replacement can be found. I have not touched this subject in about 20 years. It has not changed much; theory is theory. But, it has been a nightmare having to keep up with my own classes, my administrative duties, and now this.

Needless to say, I am exhausted. I also have a cold.

I was offered the chance to teach the two classes for the remainder of the term which is three weeks. I would be paid for my time. My response...

Hell-to-the-no.

Getting back to my previous question, who does something like this? How freakin' unprofessional is it to just up and leave without finishing what you start? OK, there are some things that cannot be helped, i.e. illness. But, any future employer would be OK with a person finishing his or her responsibilities to their previous employer. If I were the new employer, I would worry that this person would pull the same crap on me!

And, what about not at least doing your due diligence before you leave? No guidance or anything? No grades? Seriously? This is not like law school where the only grade one has is their final. This is undergraduate, two year school. Grades matter. The students suffer in the end.

I am not one to wish any specific harm to anyone, But, I do believe that whole concept of karma, what goes around, comes around, etc. This person may have that coming in spades.

9-11...Rainbow Bridge Tribute

2011-09-11T10:00:00.005-04:00

I love this piece. It just shows how even in death, animals are willing to share their love.

WELCOME AT RAINBOW BRIDGE
(Adapted from the original)

by Alexander Theodore, Bouvier, Fourth Year Resident

On the morning of September 11, 2001, there was an unprecedented amount of
activity at the Rainbow Bridge. Decisions had to be made.

They had to be made quickly. And, they were.

An issue, not often addressed here, is the fact that many residents really
have no loved one for whom to wait. Think of the pups who lived and died in
hideous puppy mills. No one on earth loved or protected them. What about the
many who spent unhappy lives tied in backyards?

And, the ones who were abused, Who are they to wait for?

We don't talk about that much up here. We share our loved ones as they
arrive, happy to do so. But we all know there is nothing like having your
very own person who thinks you are the most special pup in the Heavens.

Last Tuesday morning a request rang out for pups not waiting for specific
persons to volunteer for special assignment.. An eager, curious crowd surged
excitedly forward, each pup wondering what the assignment would be.

They were told by a solemn voice that unexpectedly, all at once, over

4,000 loving people had left Earth long before they were ready. All the
pups, as all pups do, felt the humans' pain deep in their own hearts.
Without hearing more, there was a clamoring among them - "May I have one to
comfort?"

"I'll take two, I have a big heart." "I have been saving kisses forever."

One after another they came forward begging for assignment. One
cozy-looking fluffy pup hesitantly asked, "Are there any children coming? I
would be very comforting for a child 'cause I'm soft and squishy and I
always wanted to be hugged." A group of Dalmatians came forward asking to
meet the Firemen and be their friends. The larger working breeds offered to
greet the Police Officers and make them feel at home. ! Little dogs
volunteered to do what they do best, cuddle and kiss.

Dogs who on Earth had never had a kind word or a pat on the head, stepped
forward and said, "I will love any human who needs love."

Then all the dogs, wherever on Earth they originally came from, rushed to
the Rainbow Bridge and stood waiting, overflowing with love to share - each
tail wagging an American Flag.

***
And, of course, the cats helped too...

On the morning of September 11, 2001, there was an unprecedented amount of activity at the Rainbow Bridge. Decisions had to be made. They had to be made quickly. And, they were.

An issue, not often addressed here, is the fact that many residents really have no loved one for whom to wait. And, the ones who were abused. Who are they to wait for?

We don't talk about that much up here. We share ones as they arrive, happy to do so. But we all know there is nothing like having your very own person who thinks you are the most special kitten in the Heavens.

Last Tuesday morning a request rang out for kittens not waiting for specific persons to volunteer for special assignment.. An eager, curious crowd surged excitedly forward, each kitten wondering what the assignment would be.

They were told by a solemn voice that unexpectedly, all at once, thousands of people died on Earth long before they were ready.

All the kittens, as all kittens do, felt the humans' pain deep in their own hearts. Without hearing more, there was a clamoring among them - "May I have one to comfort?" "I'll take two, I have a big heart." "I have been saving tail-swishes forever."

One after another they came forward begging for assignment.

One cozy-looking fluffy kitten hesitantly asked, "Are there any children coming?
I would be very comforting for a child 'cause I'm soft and squishy and I always wanted to be hugged."

Little cats volunteered to do what they do best, cuddle and rub against legs.

Cats who on Earth had never had a kind word or a pat on the head, stepped forward and said, "I will love any human who needs love."

Then all the cats, wherever on Earth they originally came from, rushed to the Rainbow Bridge and stood waiting, overflowing with love to share. .

***

We will not forget...

What A Good Boy...A Eulogy

2011-09-10T20:44:00.006-04:00

It has been a week since the Boy went to Rainbow Bridge. Thanks to everyone for their kind words of sympathy. It has taken me a week to find the strength to write the following:

I remember the day Husband and I decided that it was time to bring a new friend home. We had lost our previous dog to liver cancer. "Dog" had been the center of our world. Our hearts were lonely and we longed for the companionship that only a dog can give.

There were several dogs at the rescue event at the local Petco. A crowd of people were admiring some of the more "popular" breeds. Husband and I moved passed the crowd to find one crate in the corner away from the others. There, we found a black and tan dog, barking like crazy. No one was looking at this dog. His barks seemed to say 'Look at me! Look at me! Won't someone pay attention to ME!"

Husband said to me 'How about this one? He seems like a nice pup?" I picked up the paper that was on the crate. "It says that he would be perfect for a single person or a married couple with no children.", I said.

We asked one of the rescue people if we could take him out of the crate and walk him around. They allowed us to walk him around the store. Mainly, they wanted to see if there would be a connection, but mostly because he wouldn't stop barking. As we walked around, he barked and barked. The attendant asked us if we would be interested in adopting him today. Husband looked at me and said "Do you want to think about it? He's a nice dog and all, but come on...he's nuts."

Without pausing, I said "We will take him home..now."

The dog came home with us that day. And the first thing he did when we brought him into the house, he peed on the stereo speaker. We laughed hysterically.

That was the beginning of our life with the Boy.

***

Last Saturday, the Boy was lying down on the floor next to me as I sat in living room. The Boy's health was going downhill quickly.He could barely walk or stand. The tumor was causing him to pace around the house, just as it did when he first became ill. We had discussed earlier in the day that his time was getting close. As I typed on my laptop, the Boy, struggling to sit up, rested his head on my knee as he had done a billion times. This time, his big brown eyes met mine. His eyes said what he could not.

"OK, sweetheart", I said "When Daddy gets back from the store, we will go."

"Go" meant Rainbow Bridge.

We went to the University Vet Hospital who were treating him for the brain tumor. The vet on call was very kind. We were there with him when he passed away. The last thing he saw was his mom and dad. He passed away resting his head against his paw, just as he always did when he slept.

And, that was the end.

***

As I look back at the last 10 years with the Boy. I think about what he brought to our lives. He came to us at a time when we needed someone to help us heal. Whatever pain or sadness we felt, the Boy was there to comfort us, to give us knowing look that no matter what, everything would be OK. If the RA flared up, he would rest his head on my knee. When I lost my job, he would let me cry in his fur and snuggle closely.

He made us laugh with his antics, especially when we needed to laugh. He made sure that we exercised by always be willing to go for a W-A-L-K. We did not need an alarm clock because the Boy would wake us up, although I often wondered if it was more about us getting his banana.

He was a kind soul that looked out for the weaker being. He was small for his breeds; we were told that he was the runt of the litter. So, he looked out for the smaller, weaker pups, making sure that the bigger or more aggressive dogs would not hurt them. When we would go to the nursing homes for therapeutic visits, he was quite good a making those who felt alone feel special. Every person or being that he encountered was his best freind. He did not hate anyone. He was a gentile soul.

When I think about the last two years, I am amazed at how dramatically my life has changed. For the first time since I can remember, I feel like everything is right where it should be. Those of you who have followed this blog from the beginning know of my many ups and downs. Right now, my life is on and up swing that seems to go on forever. I think that the Boy felt that his job was to take care of Husband and I. I think he believed that no matter what life would throw, I would be OK, even if it was without him. I was no longer the weak one that needed his protection or comfort. I was strong and able to conquer all that life had in store.

It was his time to go. His work was done.

Good Boy.

In Loving Memory....

2011-09-04T09:35:00.000-04:00

The Boy. circa 2000 - September 3, 2011

I will post a eulogy shortly...

No Connection

2011-08-28T16:49:00.000-04:00

I have a profile on Linkedin. I am connected to many of my fellow academic and attorney peeps (If we are not connected, email me). But, I seem to be receiving requests from some of my students to connect.

Sorry...no can do.

At a recent conference, I heard the following quote:

Linkedin is the boardroom.
Twitter is the water cooler.
Facebook is the bar.

It's not about being a snob, but I am not comfortable connecting with my students in that way. I am not comfortable sharing my professional connections with students while they are students. I get the whole networking thing. I've given my student the name of someone I know and given that person a heads up that the student is contacting them. But, I am not open to giving them carte blanche to my professional life.

Do any of you connect with your students via Linkedin?

The Reality

2011-08-22T10:34:00.000-04:00

One of the Boy's buddies, Yogi, went to Rainbow Bridge today. For those of you not farmilar with Rainbow Bridge, you can read about it here.

Yogi was 16 years old, which is pretty good for a pup. He was just old and worn out. They think that perhaps Yogi may have had a tumor, like the Boy in that he displayed some of the same issues and behaviors.

Yogi and the Boy were quite a twosome. I liked to refer to them as the Old Men, even though both could run rings around some younger dogs. Whoever said you can't teach and old dog new tricks, didn't know Yogi. He was a smart pup, always up for an adventure. And, he and the Boy had their share.

Yogi's death does make me think more about the Boy's mortality. I wonder how much more time Husband and I will have with him. The Boy had a checkup with the neurologist who stated that he is amazed at the Boy's progress. He is about 90%, which is pretty good. His CBC shows that he is a little anemic, but, otherwise all is well.

But, in the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder for how long? I know I should not think about that and enjoy the time we have, for however long...

But, Yogi's passing just makes the Boy's situation even more real.

Non Supportive

2011-08-21T15:52:00.000-04:00

A question to my RA readers...or anyone else with a chonic illness?

How do you feel about online or in person support groups?

I see their purpose...giving people a forum to discuss and support each other. After all, unless you are dealing with the illness, you can empathize. But one does not truly know the ups and downs of the battle.

The problem that I see is that so many seem to be flooded with people who just want to have a pity party. Now, I am not saying that people can't talk about what they are going through and have a little whine now and again, I do that here sometimes. But, it just seems like some folks on this forum just don't want to move forward. The let the illness define who they are.

Case in point. There is a group on Facebook that I have been following which posed a question about whether it is possible to live pain free with RA. Some stated that they were living a minimal to pain free life. Others seem to dismiss it as a pipe dream. I sensed that some seem to "hate" on the ones who were enjoying an extensive period of remission. Or, they just give up.

Why? Why the pessimism? Is it that we want what someone else has? Does it make some people feel better to make other's feel bad about their remission? (I am curious to know from a few of my breast cancer survivor friends if this was true in their circle.)

I've had my ups and downs with this illness for the past 12 years. Heck, I had to move to find a climate that would allow me to have a life. I've been in and out of remission so many times, I often wonder when the roller coaster will end. I've bitched about the injections I have to get on a weekly basis so that I can function at at pain level of zero to 1 out of 10. But, I refuse to allow this illness to define who I am. I will not give up the fight.

And, I certainly would not belittle one's ability to enjoy pain free living. That's what we all want, right?

Back When

2011-08-15T09:08:00.000-04:00

Another blogger had bid adieu...so long Regey. I am going to miss your blog.

I wrote in a post a while back about where have all the academic bloggers gone. Not that long ago, there was a great community of academic bloggers, who not only blogged about academics, but about life in general. We all became viral friends, and ultimately, friends off blog. But, I think technology has just made it so difficult to keep track of the everything.

And, everyone seems to be on either Facebook and/or Twitter anyway...it's fast and instant. No need to sit sit down an construct a post and wait for someone to read it.

I think it was B* who wrote about having so many things to keep track of...Facebook, Twitter, blogging, email, Google Plus, and so on. I have resisted the lure of Google Plus, despite the invites from some of you. (Nothing personal, I promise). It's just too many things...like B* said. I have a hard enough time posting here, and keeping track of Twitter and Facebook.

I've often thought of going on a Facebook break. Not killing my account, but just not posting. I don't post as much as I used to, but I sense that lure to go there just to see what's going on with the rest of the blog world. I feel as if I don't, I will be missing something. My Twitter account seems to have more news tweets than that of blog-mates. Plus, I have to use my phone to tweet when I am work, which can be a pain in the butt.

So, that leaves my blog.

I am not ready to leave the party just yet. Maybe because I feel like this is that last place where I can just really be who I am. Maybe it's because I don't feel the pressure to write something every five minutes.

I do miss a time when we were all just bloggers...

By Request...My Suit

2011-08-10T11:16:00.000-04:00

Rented Life asked about my suit. I am also saving up for an Armani suit. Those of you who know me will think it is very me.

Suit

As you can see, it's not a suit in the traditional sense. But, I am not "traditional". Classic, yes. Traditional, no friggin' way.

I have some time before I need to buy the suit. Hence, the huge fitness kick. I would like to be at least a size 10. Currently, I am a solid 14. Before anyone starts giving me grief, I've been working on losing some weight now that I am in remission. This has given me more incentive to do so. My primary reason for the weight loss is, and has always been, the RA. I need to lose weight so that I have less impact on my joints. And, I will just feel better.

I have also considered the weather at that time of year. So, I am also looking at pants-suits. I like these too.

Armani pants-suit

Dolce & Gabbana
suit

Opinions welcome.

Help Me Decide...Yes, Another Shoe Post

2011-08-10T10:24:00.000-04:00

I am going all out for my Supreme Court admission. This means a new suit and, of course, SHOES!!! I have always wanted a pair of Manolo Blanik shoes, and not becuase of Sex and the City. I have been saving money out of my paycheck to purchase a pair. I now have enough money to buy them now. But, I can't decide which pair.

Choice A is a classic black Mary Jane pump.

Choice B is a great red pump with a little design.

Choice C is a funky blue pump.

I could stick with a classic, which is what I would usually do. Plus, the heel height on A and B is preferable to C. I don't know if I can handle four inch heels at this stage of my life. I used to have no trouble...

There are other shoes that I like too. Who can resist the red bottom of Christian Louboutin?

Choice D

Choice E

OK. I know what you are thinking. I must be crazy to spend that kind of money on shoes. And, yes, it is a shit-load of money. But, this is a once in a lifetime moment in my life. I have worked myself stupid to reach this point in my career as an academic and a lawyer. Even though I will probably never argue a case ( I am no longer actively practicing law), it's a huge deal. And, since I am being a good girl by saving my money to pay for this in cash...why the hell not?

OK, so those of you who would like to help me decide, cast your vote. I do have enough money to purchase these now. So, at least I will have my shoes before November.

Better Than What?

2011-08-06T16:46:00.000-04:00

I have read some of my bloggy friends their responses to a post which begs the question Hey, Ph.D.s, are you better off than your parent(s)?.

I don't have a Ph.D, I have a J.D. which some would argue is inferior to the mighty Ph.D, but whatever. What I think it is that we have this hope that reaching the pinnacle of academic success that we are somehow "better off" than those that proceeded us. I think people hope that we are better off than the previous generation in the hopes that future generations have something to hope for and aspire. If people went around saying "Don't bother getting that advanced degree because life is going to suck anyway, we wouldn't have as many brilliant minds out there are we do now.

I think we have to define what is "success". Does success mean that you make X amount of dollars? Does it mean that you "have" things? Does it mean that your are accomplished?

And, what does it mean to be "better off"? As opposed to what? We all have our struggles, regardless of what generation we are lumped into. Did the Baby Boomers have it better off than those who survived the Great Depression? Did Gen X'ers have it better than the Baby Boomers? Each group has it's own issues and struggles that define that generation. To say one is better off is like asking someone if they would rather be deaf or blind,

What I am saying is that I think we make assumptions that because one reaches a certain level of educational, professional or financial accomplishment, somehow that makes them successful. On its face, that is true. We should not diminish one's accomplishments. But, does having the degrees, titles and money really make one who they are? Does mean that one does not continue to struggle? Doesn't it lead to assumptions by the rest of the world? If I hear one more person say "Oh, you have a law degree, so you must be rolling in money..."

Everyone has their successes and struggles. How we define success is what matters. How we use that success dictates how well off one is.

Plagiarism. Wrote a post about it. Like to read it? Here it goes...

2011-08-03T09:22:00.000-04:00

The scene:

Me: Your response to the homework assignment was taken from this website. You did not provide proper citation to give credit.

Student: But, I changed a couple of words, so it's OK.

Me: Just because you changed a "the" here and there does not mean you are safe from citation. Besides, you have taken English I and II, plus my Legal Research and Writing course. You should know better.

Student: But, I changed it. This is so stupid.
_________________________

Sound familiar?

Since launching this blog back in 2005, I can't even remember how many posts I have written about plagiarism. And, I know many of my academic peeps have written enough posts about plagiarism in their college courses that all of us could have a series of books on the subject. Or, a contest to find the craziest case of plagiarism...anyone game?

Recently, a colleague and I were discussing how there seems to be a high degree of narcissism and entitlement on college campus today. I am not suggesting that such behavior did not exist back in the day when I was a young college student (I attended college in the 80's...draw your own conclusions about that decade). But, it seems as if plagiarism and other forms of academic dishonesty are more prevalent.

What is the reason for this? Do they really just don't know?

Perhaps, we can look to the Internet and how easy it is to just cut and paste something. Back in the day, one either found someone to write the paper or found and ad for papers in the back of Rolling Stone magazine.

Some would argue that there is a lack of morals, values and empathy on the part of today's students. Maybe. But, there were people like that back in the day too. Entitlement? It's possible. I've noticed many of the students at my college who think they should get an "A" because the showed up. Somehow, doing the bare minimum means you earn excellence.

So, what is it? And, why is it that even though students are taught over and over again, like my student, the still choose not to plagiarize or cheat. (And, I do believe it is a choice, whether it's a conscious decision or a decision based on laziness or whatever, it's still a choice.)

And, yet another question. How do you impress upon the student that doing things the right way, like citation of sources, not copying material, is not "stupid", as my student stated? Sure, I make examples of cases and the consequences of such behavior. But, I think for some students, it does not hit home until it happens to them. Or, perhaps some are so arrogant that they believe it won't happen to them because they won't get caught.

I guess that's the $64,000.00 question, isn't it?

Shape Up

2011-08-01T10:28:00.000-04:00

Once again, I am back on the fitness routine. I have great incentive, other than the feeling great, losing weight and so forth. First, my 25th high school reunion happens over the Thanksgiving holiday. But, the even bigger reason is that in November, I will be sworn in to practice law before the US Supreme Court.

You read right...The US Supreme Court.

My goal is to get down to a respectable size because there is an Armani suit with my name on it that will be my attire for the occasion. Also, a pair of Manolo Blahnik or Christian Louboutin shoes will adorn my feet as I take my oath.

Now, I know my RA readers are either thinking "Girl, you better take care of yourself with this working out thing" . And I get it. Having RA and exorcising can be tough. We are limited on what types of exercise we can do. High impact, pounding-like exercise is a big no-no. The joints will not have it. That is a sure fire way to have a flare.

So, to calm all fears, I am being very mindful. My RA doc has given me her blessing to go forth and conquer. I love the elliptical and it seems to love me back. Water walking and swimming are also on the agenda. Also, I work with very light weights to help strengthen my muscles surrounding my joints. My RA doc says that more repetitions with light weights can be very beneficial, so long as I am up to it. And, since I am in remission, I am embracing the feeling.

I know that when I am exercising, I do better health-wise with the RA. That doesn't mean that the flares disappear; we all know that flares can show up because they just want to. So, I just want to embrace what I can do, rather than let the illness tell me what I can't do.

Wish me luck.

For The Love Of Our Fur-Kids

2011-07-31T16:10:00.000-04:00

Those of you who follow me on Twitter and Facebook have already heard some very sad news. The Boy was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Long story short, he had been having some issues for about three weeks. After an trip to the emergency vet, he was referred to a neurologist at the Veterinary School in Elsewhere. After an MRI, our worst fears were confirmed. After discussing our options, including surgery and radiation, Husband and I decided that the best and least invasive thing to do was to make him comfortable and enjoy the time we have left. The Boy is on steriods and chemotherapy drugs to keep the inflammation and edema at bay for as long as possible.

We are absolutely devastated. Those of you who have followed this blog for a long time know how much the Boy means to Husband and I. We adopted him when he was a year old. He will be 11 years old next month. He is our fur-kid, truly a one of a kind dog.

It's hard for me to write about this. So, I will end this post with a request. Those of you who have pet-children, do me a favor and give them an extra hug or a pat on the head tonight. Remember how special, and sadly, how short your time with them is.

Hello, It's Me

2011-07-24T11:49:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. It's been the same with Twitter and FB. Basically, I'm been super busy. Here's the re-cap.

Took a little trip to the beach with Husband for a couple of days. Needed the R&R after a rough end to the term.
Presented my paper at the leadership conference this past week. Was tweaking the PowerPoint slides up to about an hour before I presented. Presentation was well received.
Started the Summer term. Usual insanity and drama.

But, the biggest thing that has consumed my time and energy is the Boy. He injured his back. We are not sure how he did it. It was not like the last time he injured his back. It didn't show up immediately. The vet gave him pain meds and a muscle relaxer. The meds are analgesics, which cause him to pace, pant and be incontinent. Basically, my poor pup is on a acid trip. It's hard because he is just not the same dog. I am looking into acupuncture or something else other than meds because I just cant stand to see him like this. Husband and I have not slept well for the past week. Plus, we have gone through numerous rolls of paper towels and Swiffer Wet Jet pads.

Today, I am going to try to chill out and relax.

The Ones Who Don't Know Shouldn't Teach

2011-07-05T20:55:00.000-04:00

I can't understand why people who have never been in the classroom thinks that they are an authority on what should go on in the classroom. Don't get me wrong, I think that constructive criticism has its place.

But what happens when someone who has never been in the classroom begins making assumptions and criticisms that are not based in experience?

OK, this did not happen to me, but to a junior colleague in another department who is my"mentee". A few administrators and faculty were having a meeting about writing standards across the curriculum. We were discussing some of the issues that were prevalent in all classes. As a group, we were making some progress, coming up with some great ideas. We were looking at samples of student work and rubrics when one of the staff members who was at the meeting (for the life of me I don't know why because this person is not an faculty or an education administrator), began to correct the student papers that were being used samples...during the meeting. Then, he had the nerve to question how the rubric measured the different areas of assessment. This person put the poor instructor on the spot.

Not cool.

See, the fact that this person was sitting there, grading the papers and then challenging the rubric in front of everyone should not have happened. If this person had questions about how the instructor graded the papers, that person should have addressed it privately with the instructor. And, this person certainly should not have been grading papers during the meeting.

But, I think what really bothered me, and my colleague, was that this person did not understand that my colleague's rubric was completely acceptable for what she was trying to assess with that particular assignment. And, my colleague knows her students and what they can and cannot do. The staff person's comments were not constructive or based on experience teaching or making assessments. They were based on opinions and assumptions, not based on fact or even experience.

My colleague was really offended by what this person did. She and I were having a conversation when the staff person approached us, attempting to apologize and justify what he did. This person had the nerve to say "Well, I think Professor SS would agree with me."

Whoa, dude. When did I become part of this equation?

I cut him off by saying letting him know that he was on his own with this one and to not drag me into his abyss. I said that I stood by my mentee and that he was out of line.

I feel bad for my mentee. I emailed her and told her to call me later. But, I think she was really hurt.

So, tell me academic gurus. What do you think? Are there too many people who just don't know?

Celebration

2011-07-04T10:32:00.000-04:00

First, a Happy Independence Day to all!!! Take some time to celebrate all that is good about the USA and those you care about.

I am celebrating the term that ended last Friday. It was a long one. There were a couple of snafus that still need to be addressed, but I am quite relieved that this term is over.

I am also celebrating that I only have to work three days this week. Husband and I are headed to the beach later this week for a few days of R & R.

Celebrate good times!!!!

Written or Unwritten?

2011-06-26T12:26:00.000-04:00

For the past year, I've been participating in leadership training at my college. Only a few people are selected for the training. Basically, the Dean chooses individuals that have strong leadership potential to move up in the college hierarchy. It's been very informative and I have learned a great deal about the inner workings of my college.

Although the training is pass/fail, I do have to complete a case study-capstone project for graduation. I have a great topic for my case study. It's something I've worked on for over a year that has the possibility of being implemented campus wide in all programs. I am really proud of the work that I have done to date. There is just one thing.

I have not written a paper since law school. That was a LONG time ago.

Sure, during my lawyer days, I wrote legal memorandum and appellate briefs. But, this is like being back in school. I forgot how much time and effort it takes to actually write a paper. I mean, I assign papers in my classes. I even taught writing for a while at SLAC in LESC. But, to actually do one?

Who, me?

The process is going well, but there are some hitches. The usual writer's block has hit me quite hard. And, there are some style issues. I am citing the darn thing using legal citation method. For those of you unfamiliar, this means using footnotes, Id and Supra. I guess you end up going back to what you are used to using.

I see this as sort of a test. A test to see if I could handle going back to school. I am thinking of taking a PhD course as a non-matriculated student in the fall (depending on the status of Major Work Project). That means that will have to write papers...again.

Can, I do it?

Well, that part is yet to be written.

Can't Slow Down

2011-06-24T20:10:00.000-04:00

Since my return from my trip, things have yet to slow down. This was the last week of lecture for the term, and true to form, students are going bat-shit crazy. Yesterday, I was ready to throw someone out of my office if they came in whinning, bitching or with an attitude. Plus, I made my presentation to the power that be regarding my trip. They are very open to the changes. the HMFIC wants me to present an action plan to the VP next week. Whoa!

I am behind on so many things right now. I have so much back grading to do. I needed to send something to a bloggy friend that I got on my trip. I also need to do a huge favor for another bloggy friend so that something wonderful will happen for her. I swear I need a personal assistant or a clone.

In other news, my wonderful garden is no more. Somehow, deer figured out how to crash the six foot mesh fence Husband built. They ate all my broccoli, tomatoes and pepper. To add insult to injury, they left their calling card.

This makes for one tired, grumpy Seeking Solace. To combat a bad case of cranks and grumps, I had Indian food and watched reruns of Sex in the City last night. Today after work, I went to the day spa in my neighborhood and had a citrus and mint foot scrub and pedi.

Feeling much better...but I am still pissed about the garden!

Whirlwind

2011-06-19T17:11:00.000-04:00

It's been quite a busy week for yours truly. After my week of projectile vomiting, I went to a conference in the City Known for the Blues. There, I had a blogger meet-up with Comebacknikki, who is way cool and fun. It was like we had known each other for year. Of course, we have know each other, in the blog world and on FB. But, it was great to finally meet her in person. And in true bloggy meet-up fashion, here is the gratuitous alcohol photo which we enjoyed while dining on the best tapas ever!

The next day, it was all business. I spent two days learning about the approval process for my program from the Organization that Sanctions Everything in Law. I knew when I agreed to take on this task that it was going to be a massive undertaking. I have put in some significant work to date on this project. But after two days of discussion of what must be in place before the Power that Be give me their blessing, I will need to sell this to some folks waaaay up on the food chain. And, they may not like the fact that they will have to give me some authority's that others in my position do not have. Also, there will need to be some curriculum changes, which I've asked to be implemented for the past year. At least now I have some backup with why it is necessary.

The scary thing is that no one in our campus system is doing this. I am the guinea pig. This can be good and bad. It's bad because it is a ton of work that may not pan out the way everyone wants. There is also the possibility that the powers that be will say "NO" to my recommendations and the whole concept is tossed. That would have a additional negative effect in that the college wants to do this to set us apart from other institutions. There are a small number of colleges in the state with this designation. On the plus side, if it does work out and we get the approval, I can use this a stepping stone to move up in the system. I have some ideas that are totally unbloggable, but lets just say that it could lead to something very big.

At any rate, it is good to be home. The Boy was depressed during the three days I was gone. Husband said he stayed in his bed most of the time. When I walked in the door Friday night, he did his "Dino" impression and almost knocked me over. Then he began to "talk" as only a dog can. I think he was trying to say "Where were you" and How could you leave me?"

Tomorrow, it's back to work. I already have a ton of emails and students wondering when I am going to be in the office. I wonder if I can sneak in incognito so that I can get some work done.

Anyone own one of those masks with the funny nose, glasses and hairy eyebrows?

The Plan

2011-06-11T10:26:00.000-04:00

My unexpected illness put me behind with much of my work. I have so much to do in the next four weeks.

I am going to Chi-town next week for training with Major Law Accreditation body. My legal program is seeking the blessing of the Major Law Accreditation Body so that we can be included in the very small group of undergraduate programs in my state that have this designation. This is a HUGE deal, almost akin to a college receiving it's own regional accreditation. One huge bonus is that I am planning on meeting up with one of you!
I have a major paper and presentation that is due at the end of the month. This is part of specialized leadership training that I've been participating in for the past year. I am about halfway through right now.
Registration has started for next term. That means long days advising students.
There are only three weeks left in the term. Lots of back grading to complete.

I am trying to avoid the usually negative self talk that usually leads to my having a mini-meltdown over how much I have to complete. I really don't want to spend my entire weekend working. So, I am going to sit down with my coffee (the first cup of coffee I've had in a week) and map out a plan.

See, when I have a plan, I can keep those negative, overwhelming thoughts at bay. I know what I need to do and how much time it should take me to do it, allowing some leeway for when those creative juices start flowing or I get into that groove and don't want to quit. In the end, I feel accomplished and satisfied.

Sounds like a plan.

Projectile Vomiting

2011-06-09T19:46:00.000-04:00

That got your attention?

I had the worst stomach virus ever. I never want to be that up close and personal with a toilet again.

I don't know what caused it. All I know is when I woke up Monday morning, I felt fine. The next three days were spent in the bathroom, sleeping or hooked up to an IV drip.

I am feeling semi-normal now, but I still can't eat much. They call it the BRAT diet for a reason.

And tomorrow, we are supposed to have pizza for lunch at work. Everyone except ME!

Smooth

2011-06-01T22:01:00.000-04:00

I am amazed at how smoothly things are going this term. I do not have much student whining and heinousness. The whiners and troublemakers have either dropped out, caused minimal trouble or have just fallen into line because they just realized it was easier to follow the rules. Many of the students have used peer pressure to knock the troublemakers in line. I had to giggle to myself when one troublemaker was complaining about the amount of work in Research and Writing. Before I could say anything, one of her classmates said "Well, maybe if you actually showed up for class and did the work, you wouldn't be in this position." The troublemaker just sunk into her chair and responded "Yeah, you're right."

You gotta love that.

My teaching load is not too bad. I finished a six week course two weeks ago which allows me more time to work on a couple of major, unbloggable projects which I am quite excited about working. Both projects, if they work out the way I want them to work out, will be huge feathers in my cap. These projects are also the type that will get the attention of a few people in powerful places at my college.

One of my faculty will most likely be promoted to full time status. I am so excited for him. He is on his way to becoming a great instructor. That is good because with these above mentioned projects, I really need a wing-man. He fits well with my vision for the program. Plus, he is willing to teach the courses that I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole...like Will and Real Estate (BLECH!)

So, I am quite content.

I like that.

Happy Memorial Day!

2011-05-30T09:23:00.001-04:00

Sinking Friendship

2011-05-29T08:43:00.000-04:00

Husband is one of the most compassionate, generous people I know. He is an incredible freind, always willing to come to a friend's aid in their time of need.

Husband and his BF have been friends for over 30 years. They've gone through high school and college together, almost joined the Navy together. They stood up for each other in their weddings. Husband is the godfather to BF's son. They have supported each other through thick and thin.

For the past couple of years, that friendship has been tested. BF went through a very nasty divorce and is in Chapter 13 bankruptcy. BF's now ex-wife financially ruined him. Husband has loaned BF money during the period of the divorce to help him. At first, loaning money was not big deal because BF had barely enough to eat ramen noodles for dinner. Husband had to put a stop to the lending when BF started asking for money because he had to "show the kids a really good time because that what they except".

Husband has dutifully listened as BF talks about his failed relationship with his wife and daughter. He has a pretty good relationship with his son. BF refuses to take any ownership of his role in the breakdown of the marriage. (Example: You don't give the checkbook to someone who you know is a fiscal hot mess). Yet, Husband listens and tries to be supportive.

This week, BF called Husband to see if Husband and I were coming to Son's graduation. Son still likes with his mother in a state that is south of Elsewhere. BF lives in the state north of Elsewhere. Although Husband would love nothing more than to go, he really was looking forward to the long weekend to relax. He's been rather busy with a major project at work. Anywho, during the phone call, BF was making references that his Son believed that no one other than his mother's side of the family cared about him (I guess 18 years of birthday cards, First Communions, Christmas and other holiday in which Husband and I sent gifts and/or money went to some other kid). So, Husband agreed that he would attend the graduation. (I got to stay home because we didn't want to board the Boy again and I have a major project that I really needed to get started on).

Well, that's when the insanity began.

BF said he would drive down to our house Friday night and he and Husband would drive to Son's graduation on Saturday morning. Husband said that he would take his own car so that he could leave first thing Sunday morning, allowing BF to spend the day with his Son.

Seems to make sense, right?

So, Saturday morning, BF tells Husband that he did not book a hotel. BF was supposed to book a hotel room for him and Husband. Well, he didn't. Needless to say, this was a major problem because there was not a hotel within 70 miles of where Son lives that had a vacancy.

OK, you know your kid is going to graduation on a specific date. And, you know it's a three day weekend in a city that's a major destination for travel. And you conveniently forget to book a hotel?

BF said to Husband that Husband would drive the two of them to the event (It's about a 4.5 hour drive from Elsewhere). They would try to find a hotel, but if they couldn't, they would drive back to Elsewhere that night.

Notice that it's my husband who is doing the driving.

Husband called me later Saturday evening after the graduation to say that they would be driving back to Elsewhere because, sure enough, there was no room at any inn.

Husband and BF came in at 3 AM this morning.

Husband told me that this whole incident put his patience and his friendship to the test. He said that during the entire ride, BF either bitched about his ex, or snored. I guess the snoring was the equivalent to two freight trains and a honking goose. Oh, and his friend had really bad gas and kept coughing...without using the universal cough etiquette.

Husband said he really needs some distance from his friend.

I am absolutely incensed about the whole thing. I firmly believe that BF intentionally avoided booking the hotel. I think he intended for Husband to chauffeur him around and pay for everything. I think BF took advantage of my Husband's good nature and kindness. I don't like seeing my Husband frustrated. As I write, I am ready to kick this guy out of my house right now. I have kept silent, as this is something that Husband has to do.

But, it just angers me that someone who you love lie a brother would take advantage of you.

Wax On, Wax Off

2011-05-28T12:44:00.000-04:00

In continuing my quest Bring on the Wonder for 2011, I decided to try something that I was curious and afraid to do.

Getting my legs waxed.

I've had my eyebrows waxed a couple of times, which is no big deal. But, I had heard stories that this was quite painful. I mean, come on, who wants a total stranger ripping out their leg hair? Owie doesn't begin to describe it. And, what about the risk of infection?

On the flip-side, shaving isn't fun either. You can get nicks and cuts just as easily, especially if you are in a hurry. And, unless you are in a bathtub, one must be part contortionist to do a decent job.

For me, the reason to consider waxing was because of the RA. Bending and contorting myself can be quite difficult first thing in the morning or when I have a flare. Additionally, even the slights cut or nick can leave a pretty noticeable scar. This is due mainly to the medications I must take. Those of you who know me IRL know that I have some significant scars on my legs from cuts and bug bits that have not healed well. I am very self-conscious of my scars. I have tried numerous cosmetics, even tattoo coverage products, to cover them. With my skin tone, I have a hard time finding the right blend.

So, rather than go like the Germans, I thought I would give waxing a shot.

There is an awesome day spa near my house. I've had manis, pedis and facials there. I spoke to the owner who has seen my scars when doing the hand and foot treatments said that it would be possible for me to do waxing. She suggested that I have it done up to the knee, to see if I like it. She said to make sure that I was not in an RA flare, so as not to magnify the pain.

And, to let my leg hair grow for two weeks. Eep.

So, I waited the two weeks. I thought my legs looked like I was a female Sasquatch. The esthetician told me that my leg hair was only 1/8 inch long and fine. She said that this was a good thing because it will not hurt as much.

OK, I think...

She had me lay down on a table, with my legs bent. She applied the hot wax, which was actually not very hot at all. Given that I am cold most of the time, it really didn't bother me. Then I hard that sound I'd been dreading...

RRRRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

I was surprised that it did not hurt much as I thought. It felt like I had a piece of tape stuck to me and I had to rip it off. The pain was about a "1" on a scale of 1-10. For me, that's not big deal. I've had RA pain that is waaaaaaaay worse. And, let's not forget my weekly, very painful, injections.

It only took about 20 minutes for her to do both legs to the knee, front and back. She was very nice and chatted with me, mostly to make me feel comfortable. That really did help. She applied a organic lotion to soothe and calm my skin.

In the end, I walked out with the. smoothest. legs. ever. No pain or discomfort. No signs of cuts or infection.

I think I am a convert. Maybe a bikini wax next?

In The Arms Of The Angel

2011-05-23T21:26:00.000-04:00

I learned yesterday that a very dear childhood friend died. She was only 42 years old.

She committed suicide.

For as long as I can remember, my freind battled many demons. Her mother was so cruel that she made Joan Crawford look like Carol Brady. I remember back in high school, we were at band practice which was held after school. The band director had kept us longer than the usual. My friend's mother refused to wait the extra five minutes and drove off. My poor friend started walking home, when her mom pulled up alongside her and scream at her. She would not let my friend in the car.

I remember being there to listen when we were teenagers and freshman in college. But, once life got in the way, we just fell out of touch. I think the last contact I had was before Husband and I got married and moved to LESC. I had heard bits and pieces from mutual friends, but did not have any contact.

And there lies the guilt.

What I didn't know was that she got pregnant out of wedlock, which upset her mother. My friend married the father of her child, but that didn't last because the ass-hat beat her up on a regular basis. No one blamed her for divorcing the bastard, except her mother. At one point, she was practically homeless and had to move back in with her parents with her child. She battled severe depression. Despite medication and lots of therapy, nothing seemed to help.

You see, I understand why she decided to take her own life. I understand what it means to be in that place where you can't pick yourself up. I get it.

I just didn't think she would do it.

No, I don't think I could have stopped her. I think she was in a place where there is absolutely nothing that anyone could have said to make a difference. I just wish I could have been there. I wish I kept in touch so I could at least let her know that I cared. That maybe, she would have had one more person who was willing to listen.

See, I don't think people take depression seriously. I don't think people realize that there are those who are silently screaming for help. We "think" everything will be all right.

But, it isn't.

Most of the time, people just think someone will snap out of it. "Get over it", if you will. The truth is, depression is real. It can swallow someone up before anyone can throw out a life line.

I can only hope that wherever she is, may she find some comfort.

Fab Five Freddy Told Me Everything's Fly

2011-05-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

Geeka shared this link to a blog. It's a FAQ for students about the Rapture.

Go ahead and read. I'll wait...

Funny, no?

Seriously, this whole rapture thing cracks me up. I can remember back in the 1980"s when Hal Lindsey came up with the same thing. And, nothing happened.

I think he forgot to multiply by Pi factor.

But, it does beg the question. Why are so many bad things happening? Maybe "God" (for those of you who are believers), is pissed. Maybe Mother Nature is pissed. Maybe it's just that shit happens (for those of you who don't believe).

I fall into the third category. If it's the beginning of the end, so be it. If not, life goes on.

I just hope I don't get eaten by the Man from Mars.

Can You Go Home Again

2011-05-19T09:20:00.000-04:00

Husband and I are in Lake Effect Snow Central for a couple of days. My friend, J, is getting married on Saturday. I've already tweeted jokes about the "5/21/11 Beginning of the End" claim. (I'm an agnostic reading from the Bible in a church..)

Anywho, it will be great to see old friends and get caught up. Also, I will be making a mule run to Favorite Grocery Store and Favorite Coffee and Doughnut Place to get some of my favorite items that are just not the same in Elsewhere. I am also taking back some of the local delicacy that makes LESC famous. (They have insulated bags for it!)

I must say, I knew I was back in the state LESC is located when Husband and I got serious attitude from the lady at the car rental counter. We did not arrive in LESC until 11 p.m. last night. We were tired after being stuck in Big Apple Airport for five hours as a result of the rain. The lady at the counter was extremely rude and kept asking Husband "Why do you keep looking at me like that? What is your problem?" Husband told her that we had been on a long flight and if he appeared to be giving her attitude, he really wasn't.". She just did not let up. I give Husband a lot of credit for not going off on her.

I think Husband and I are spoiled on the type of hospitality that the region where Elsewhere is located. People are very polite, even if you are pissy with them. It's always "Yes, sir", "Thank you, ma'am" and "Have a nice day." As soon as that woman started giving us attitude, I found myself falling right back into that "Bitch, you want attitude" mode. So not what I am used to, anymore.

Now, I know not everyone is like that. People in LESC are some of the kindest and most generous folk around. But, if you were not from the area and knew that, you would think everyone are a bunch of rude ass-hats.

Not a nice welcome home. But, I know that Husband and I do have some wonderful friends who will welcome us home with open arms...and no attitude.

I Don't Have Anything To Write About, So How About Shoe Porn?!?!

2011-05-14T18:57:00.003-04:00

Husband needed to buy a pair of running shoes, so a trip to DSW was in order. Since he didn't need my help, I decided to help myself. So, I bought some Clarks...

Then, I saw these from Nine West...

Then, Husband said he found his shoes. That was a good thing because I was drawn to these from Nine West

These from Nine West too.

And, these from Franco Santo.

And Husband wonders why shoes make me happy.

Building A Mystery

2011-05-05T10:03:00.000-04:00

My teaching schedule is AFU. One of my classes was cancelled at the end of drop/add last month due to low enrollment. My contract requires that I have a certain minimum number of teaching hours (Not my decision). So, I was assigned a class that was given to an adjunct, which was her only class. Don't feel bad for the adjunct. She has a full time job and only teaches because she wants to, not because she needs the money. Plus, I've had issues with this instructor inflating grades.

The course I am teaching is only six weeks. So, I have my work cut out for me. It is the kind of course that should not be taught in a six week format. There are just way too many concepts to cover. And, I truly believe that unless you want to only use half your ass, there is no way to effectively teach this course in that amount of time.

We are in Week Four and I have presented enough information to the students that they are ready for the project component of the course. The project that I assign is in three parts. Some requires library work and some they can find online. Also, the scope of the project is something that will be beneficial outside the classroom.

Last night, I am explaining the project and how to manuver through the various tasks associated with the project. When I asked them about looking up statutes using the books in the library, I heard crickets.

I asked them if they had used the law books in our library in their other classes. More crickets. Finally, one brave soul spoke up and said that they had not used the books in the library since I took them on their library tour when they had Intro to Legal with me. They used the General Assembly's website to find statutes (Not the "official" version, BTW), but they have not been to the library or have been required to use the books at all.

That was three terms ago.

Two terms ago, I asked my faculty to incorporate use of the law books in the Libra in their assignments, especially the final project. I told them that they should be taking their classes to the library and have them use the books. There is no reason why the students should not have to wait for Legal Research and Writing to find out the mystery behind the law books. Plus, I am the one who teaches the R & W class and early exposure to the law books would allow me to do so much more in the course.

I am also perturbed because it's not like these classes are huge. They are 12 students at the most. So, it is not that difficult to have a class do library work. Although our library is small, the law collection is 1/10 the size of a tradition law collection, it is enough for the students to do what is necessary for the program. Plus, I have a relationship with a law school in the area who allows the students in my program access. The law librarian understand that the limited resources of my little paralegal program and have embraced us with open arms. Also, the librarian at my college is awesome and has encouraged classes to use the library as much as possible.

So what's the deal?

My reasoning for having students use the books is that I want to take the mystery out of the law books. In the past, the B, my predecessor for those of you who forgot, would not allow the students to use the law books in the library until they had R & W. So, there was this perception that the books were off limits because they were "too hard" or "off limits". When the students took R & W in the past, they were just thrown to the wolves and told to figure it out.

I need to figure out why my instructors have not complied with my request. Perhaps, my faculty were taught that way when they took R & W in law school. Maybe, they have become so used to Westlaw and Lexis that they have forgotten how to do research "old school". Maybe, they just don't know how to put together an assignment using library research. Maybe, they are giving assignments and the students are blowing smoke.

Until then, the mystery continues.

The Right Thing To Do

2011-05-01T13:16:00.000-04:00

Music was always a part of my growing up. My parents had an extensive record (yes, those round objects that you played on a thing called turntable). They had everything from rock to R&B, soul to pop, jazz and blues. And of course I cannot forget my mother's huge collection of polka records.

As a little girl, I loved to sing along with the music. Singing along gave me a sort of solace that I craved as a child. There was a lot of chaos in my family because of my parents being an interracial couple. Next to books, music and singing was my refuge. Even to this day, I sing when I need to release stress or find some peace of mind.

One of the first songs I remember singing was "The Right Thing To Do" by Carly Simon. My mom had a copy of No Secrets, which contain that song, along with "Your So Vain". I would sing along with that song every time it came on the turntable. I would look at the album as I sang along (Granted I was only four years old when the album was released in 1972, so I could only read some of the lyrics). But, I thought Carly Simon was so beautiful and cool. Her voice was smooth and soothing to me. I could feel her emotions with every note she sang.

It wasn't until about three years ago when I read Girls Like Us ,which is about the lives of Carole King, Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon, that I learned that Carly Simon was biracial.

Way cool. That may explain my identifying with her and her music. That and it is just great. Actually, I love all three women singer/songwriters in that book. I just love that time during the 1970's. (There are times when I think I came of age during the wrong decade).

Anyway, it's some 40 years since the release of that album. I still listen to it and find refuge in the smooth voice of my biracial "sister".

****

As you are no doubt aware, the recent tornadoes really did a number on Tuscaloosa, Alabama and other places. My boss is from the area. Thankfully, his family is OK. But, there is a great deal of devastation. He is traveling there this week to help with the recovery. So, my campus is gathering essentials to help. Yours truly has gathered some necessities, as well as, some clothing from my closet.

Please help in any way you can.

It's the right thing to do.

Dear Mother Nature

2011-04-28T11:22:00.000-04:00

Why are you so angry? Are the tornadoes necessary? I mean, are you trying to prove that if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, it does make a sound.

Seriously, there is a great amount of death and destruction. People don't need this right now, given the state of affairs in the U.S. People in my neck of the woods are still trying to recover from your wrath. Then you decided to take it out on the St. Louis Airport. Now, you have pretty much flattened Tuscaloosa Alabama.

I get that you are pissed off. I get that way too. If I had the power to cause that much havoc, I would. There are tons of people who need to feel my wrath too. But, I know that won't make things better. There are other ways to express your anger that don't result in such devastation. Have you considered deep breathing, rather than expelling all that wind? I think you will find you'll feel better.

At any rate, you made your point, whatever it is, you made it.

So, know it off. Or, at least, take it out on somewhere other than here. May I suggest outer space?

Always,
Seeking Solace

Easter Memories

2011-04-24T10:24:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite childhood memories is spending Easter Sunday at my paternal great grandmother's house. My great grandmother had a two bedroom apartment in a three story building in the downtown area of my hometown. Despite its size, somehow, it was able to accommodate my father's extended family, which consisted of at least 30+ people who lived close enough to attend.

Back then, my brother, cousins and I would play in the alley outside the apartment. That's where we were sent, since we were going bat-shit crazy from the sugar high from all the candy and from having to sit still in church for what seemed like an eternity. No one worried about what we were doing out there, so long as we didn't get our dress clothes dirty. We played tag, rang the delivery doorbell of the store that was across the alley, running away pretending that someone was coming to answer the door. We sat on the stoop and played card games or whatever game we made up at the time.

Inside, the women would prepare the feast while the men laughed and shouted at the TV. Usually, the NBA playoffs were on. Soon, it would be time to dine on a feast of ham, chicken, mac-and-cheese, greens, pretty much your usual Sunday Soul Food fare.

Once we were fully into our food-induced coma, our moms would disappear. The moms would go to our paternal grandmother's house where they would hide plastic eggs with candy in them for the Easter egg hunt. Once we awoke from our slumber, the dads would take us to the Easter egg hunt. My grandmother lived on 3/4 of an acre with plenty of good places to hide Easter eggs. With renewed energy, my brother, cousins and I would run around searching in vain for the colored eggs with the prize inside.

Once all the eggs were found, my great aunt would break out the ice cream. The parents were ready to relax as the music played and the card games began. 'No one had to work that Monday;; Easter Monday was also a holiday back then, so no one had to go to work. By 11 p.m., it was time to go home. Everyone had a great time which was full of family, food and festivities

Fast forward some 30-35 years. My great grandmother and grandmother have long since passed away, as well as my father. My dad's siblings are still around, but no one seemed to pick up the tradition. My brother and cousins are all grown with families and traditions of their own. Of the nine cousins, four live far from where we grew up. We don't see each other as much as we did back then, because time, distance and life seems to get in the way. Someone else lives in the apartment that belonged to my great grandmother. My grandmother's house was sold and is a shadow of the grand home it once was. It was renovated with a ugly extension to accommodate four apartments, which makes me shudder every time I see it when I visit my hometown.

It's sad in some ways that those great traditions are lost. But, I am happy that I had the chance to enjoy them. And, I can enjoy them in my memory.

Double Trouble In Trouble, Part 2

2011-04-23T19:24:00.000-04:00

Despite a commenter's suggestion that I should not continue this story, becuase I have the tendency to enjoy fighting with people, I will continue my saga. One, becuase it's a great story. And two, becuase I do love to piss people off.

So, anyway, we are sitting in the conference room while one of the mothers goes on and on about how no one informed her about her daughter's suspension. How could we just kick her out like that? Meanwhile, the daughter is sitting behind her mother, rolling her eyes at everyone in the room. The other mother is also chiming in, with her daughter just staring at the floor. After they were finished, Very Awesome Colleague said to them:

"You do realize that this was not the first time these young ladies have been in trouble?"

Of course, the mothers' jaws dropped to the floor. No, they did not know about the two instances of bullying, with the second resulting in a three day suspension. Yet, they continued to defend their daughters. "Well, they are just young and immature. They are only 20 years old."

Did I mention that one of the girls has a two year old child?

Yeah, see, you give up that whole immaturity thing when you become a parent. You can't be a child one minute and expect to be treated like an adult. Now, that's true for anyone at that age. But, if you are that age and a parent...game over.

One of the mothers asked me why it was so terrible for the girls to have walked out of a presentation. I had to refrain from saying "Are you fucking kidding me?" "This is the person who gives the thumbs up/down for students to take their certification exam. I am not going to have the college's reputation damaged because of these two knuckleheads." Actually, I did say something to that effect, although it was more professional and lacked F-bombs.

They still didn't get it. Meh.

Finally, the attorney spoke up, wanting to know about the entire hearing process and how it came to pass that the girls were suspended. Now, Awesome Colleague and I were ready for this one. We had the entire case file, 40 pages for each student, copied and placed in red folders (Red has so many meanings behind it, doesn't it? [nsert evil laugh[) We pulled the folders out and dropped them on the table, which made a very loud "thump".

It's funny how that visual spoke volumes.

I could tell by the look on the attorney's face that she knew we had done our due diligence. After all, being an attorney myself, it's the way I roll. What could she say? The mothers were equally surprised. Of course Double Trouble had not told the whole story. And, they were equally surprised at how thick the file was. Of course, we would give them a copy.

They wanted to know what the girls needed to do to return to the college. I guess they did not see the letter that was sent about the steps the girls would have to take before we would consider readmission. They seemed open to the girls completing all the requirements, although one mother felt that doing community service was something for criminals and these girls were not criminals.

Um, right. Whatever.

So, that was it. The mothers thanked us for the meeting. The attorney found the meeting "enlightening" (I suspect that she regrets giving up billable time). And that was it. Double Trouble are gone indefinitely. We'll see if they actually comply with the terms of their suspension.

Oh, and I got an apology email from the mother of one the students for jumping the gun on the due process thing. And, she appreciated the fact that I am tough but fair to my students.

Yeah, after all, that's my job. (In case anyone out there was wondering why I told this story). It is my job to do what's right. It's my job to defend the integrity of my students, the program and the college. We get so caught up in just teaching that we don't realize that we write on the slate of who our students are. For the demographic that my college services, I have a responsibility to give my students the structure that so many of them have not experienced. If I am not doing that, I am not doing my job.

I don't know if Double Trouble realize that what I did will benefit them in the long run. The things that they are required to do are to help them grow up a little. Maybe someday, they look back at this experience and see how immature they really are.

For their sake, I hope so.

As Promised...Double Trouble In Trouble Part 1

2011-04-22T11:56:00.000-04:00

I promised to tell the story about Double Trouble, so here goes.

Throughout the term, they have taken insubordination to a new level. During the last week of classes, almost every instructor who had the "privilege" to engage with these two have complained about these ladies taking back to them and other students. They would walk into class late and leave without saying a word to the instructor. They pick fights with other students. And, they give anyone attitude about the slightest thing.

Well, the straw that broke the camel's back was when Double Trouble walked out of a presentation by someone of influence in the community and their future profession. They showed up 10 minutes late for class, stayed 10 minutes and then just walked out. No explanation. They didn't even say anything about an emergency. They just walked out. They never returned to class either. According to one of my instructors, they were in a computer lab playing around on Facebook.

Yep...you read right.

And I am sure the speaker noticed becuase there were only 13 people in the room.

That was it. I'd had enough of these two. There is no way I can send them out into the work world with that kind of attitude and lack of professionalism. I brought them up on disciplinary charges and recommended they be kicked out of the college. Obviously, the previous times they were before the Disciplinary Board did not mean anything. They just don't get it.

They went before the committee and cried crocodile tears. They claimed that they have an attitude because no one likes them because they are more pretty than the other students. No one understand how difficult it is to have everyone hate you becuase you are pretty.

Good grief, pass me a bucket so I can vomit.

The committee decided to suspend Double Trouble immediately and for an indefinite period. They have certain tasks they most perform before they will be considered for re-entry, including writing letters of apology to the speaker, me and their classmates.

Well, I thought it was over until I received a nasty phone call and email from one of Double Trouble's mothers who claimed that how could the college kick out her daughter and friend without giving them due process. She demanded to know why these girls were kicked out of school. (Um, letters were hand delivered and mailed to the students at every step of the process).

Well, alrighty then, time to go into lawyer mode.

So, I gathered my 40 page document of evidence on each student. The Dean and Assistant Dean totally had my back on this, so the three of us agreed to a meeting with Double Trouble Mother #1. We figured that the other parent would be there, but we didn't count on their bringing a lawyer.

Yep. A lawyer.

Well, as you know, if a student lawyers up, game off. We can't speak to them and the whole thing gets transferred to Legal. The Dean asked the lawyer if she was representing the families. And, of course, the lawyer was being cagey in her response, probably to see if the Dean would fall for it. But, yours truly, knows how that game is played. I looked her dead in the eye and asked if she was in a representative capacity and if a retainer agreement was signed. The attorney backed off her high horse and said no.

Bitch needed to know that she was in my house now.

Stay tuned! (I'm such a little snot for the cliffhanger!)

Can I Have Another Vacation....Please?

2011-04-17T13:25:00.000-04:00

Seriously....I need another vacation.

I returned to work on Monday, only to find out that possibly two of my faculty may have "inflated" their grades. One gave an entire class "A's". Now, it would be great if this class were a group of phenomenal students, but I had that group the previous term. Only a few were truly capable of "A" work. The rest were B/C students with a couple of failures thrown in. More ranting about this to come.

There was a suspension hearing for Double Trouble. Long story, but let's just say they did something where the phase "What the hell is wrong with you?" was appropriate. They were suspended for a least one term.

Then the parents got involved...and they brought a lawyer.

The Reader's Digest version is that Double Trouble did not tell the whole story to their moms. And, you could tell that the lawyer was thinking that she wasted time on this when she could be billing time.

More to come, I promise.

Then, the Spring term began with little fanfare. Just long days of dealing with drop/add which will continue into this week.

Oh, and did I mention that we had tornado activity yesterday?

Husband, the Boy and I were hunkered down in our "safe room" which is our half bath that can only fit two adults and one large dog. We stayed there for about half and hour. No damages to our home or neighborhood, but much of Elsewhere took a huge hit.

And it's back to work on Monday...sigh.

Needless to say...I need another vacation already!

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted?

2011-04-11T09:16:00.000-04:00

Husband and I spent a wonderful few days in the Islands named for a delicious alcoholic beverage. We spent our time filling the sleep and vitamin D accounts, eating good food and watching people make total asses of themselves. We returned to an all-inclusive resort that we visited a few years ago. We had such a great time before, so we figured lightening would strike twice. We thought we had avoided the college spring break crowd, seeing as most college spring breaks are finished by now. But, we did not count on something that we did not count on.

High school spring break.

Growing up, we did not have a spring break in high school. We had Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Monday off, provided that we did not need those days to make up for snow days. But, I guess this is quite common, especially after talking with some friends. Anywho, I think I would have rather dealt with college students than what I saw with the high school kids.

There were groups of high school seniors at the resort. Now, this resort used to only cater to the 18 and over crowd. I am guessing with the downturn in the economy, the resort decided to change their policy to allow anyone 14 and over.

Well, you can imagine what happened.

Like I said, there were these groups of high school seniors at the resort unsupervised. Yep, you heard me, unsupervised. And since the resort is all inclusive, including alcohol, it was the perfect storm for heinousness.

OK, I don't know about you, but my parents would NEVER let me go to the Caribbean when I was that age. I wasn't allow to go anywhere like that on spring break when I was in college! First, my parents could never afford to send me. Second, there is no way my father would like his baby girl go unsupervised. I mean seriously, people, who is running the show in most households?

There were kids who were just drunk a good majority of the time. We could not used the Jacuzzi because kids were throwing up...in the Jacuzzi.

They were up all hours of the night, slamming doors, screaming and blasting music.

Oh, and the best one was where this kid got so drunk that he ripped the gutters off the building. Yes, the gutters. The hotel security told him either cough up $1500.00 for the damage or go to jail. Needless to say, he called his parents at 3 a.m. to avoid jail. Now, I have a good feeling that replacing those gutters would have cost around $500.00. So, you know it's true what they say about paybacks.

Wow...just wow. I know if it were my parents, they would have told me to get comfortable while in jail. Or, I would probably want to go to jail becuase what my dad would have done to me would be far worse than any jail.

But, maybe those rules just don't apply anymore. Maybe the tail is wagging the dog more than I ever imagined.

Needless to say, we did have a great time, despite the heinousness of teens running wild.

But, next time, we're going to Sandals!

It's Not Like I'm A Defective

2011-04-03T10:55:00.000-04:00

Last night, Husband and I went to a cookout a neighbor's house. It was nice because we really wanted to get to know the people in our neighborhood.

One of the things I hate about going to get-together where I don't really know anyone is that I often feel like I don't fit in with those around me. Whenever I am around a group of women, I feel like that preverbal square peg in a round hole.

And, like setting a digital watch, all the women were engaged with their kids, or talking about their kids or talking about the kid that is on the way. Even some of the men were engaged in the endless conversation of breast pumps, childcare and poop.

But, that wasn't all. As I scanned the food selection, everything except a few appetizers contained meat. Even the shrimp, which I still eat, was mixed with sausage. I won't eat seafood if it is mixed with meat (It's an OCD thing).

Sigh, At least no one stated talking about religion, which would have probably sent me running for the door.

Isn't there any place for the child-free by choice, pescatarian, agnostic in the world?

To be fair, everyone was very nice. No one asked me questions about our lack of children or my food choices. In fact, the hostess had some Boca Burgers in the freezer and had her husband cook a couple for me (To which I thanked her profusely).

I pretty much focused on the basketball game, which I had a vested interest in because two of my final four picks were still in the hunt. But, trying to watch the game while listening to people talk incessantly about their kids and play with their kids without engaging with me, kind of makes one feel invisible.

Of course, I tried to engage with them. It's not like I don't care about kids. I have nieces, nephews and godchildren. I can talk about them and tell cute stories too. But after a while, it gets boring. There is a world out there which interesting things going on around us. But it seems like the conversation reverts back to children. And, then comes the awkward silence because I can't converse at that level.

It's sad too because I just don't see myself having a real relationship with any of the women in my neighborhood. Quite honestly, it's probably why I have such a small circle of female friends. My female friends are either child-free or if they have children, they maintain a healthy balance of a life with children and a life outside of being a mommy. It seems these women are just consumed with being a mommy, which is fine for them.

And before any of you suggest, yes, I am looking for activities and places where I can find people with similar interests as my own. I suppose we all have some need or sense that we belong.

I mean, it's not like I'm a defective or anything.

Purple Concert

2011-03-27T11:02:00.010-04:00

Seriously. Best. Concert. EVER!!!! Husband and I went to see His Royal Badness the other night. I had wanted to see Prince since, well, forever. So, when the opportunity came to strike another artist off my bucket list, I had to get tickets.

Chaka Kahn opened the show. That was worth the price of admission already. She looks phenomenal and her voice was just perfect. Every woman in the audience was on their feet and dancing to "I'm Every Woman".

Then it was Prince's turn. Let me say that at 52, he is truly on sexy M.F!!!! He looks awesome and can still put on a great show. He did not do any of his more "dirty" songs; I think being a JW put the kibosh on that. You could tell he reaaaallly want to though.

One hilarious moment was during "Play That Funky Music". He had people who were close to the stage come up and dance. Well, there was this woman who was a little on the chunky side who wanted to do a "booty slap" dance with Prince. Well, I don't think he was having any of it, as he tried to avoid this woman like she was a leper. And, it was all shown on the giant screens! I should check YouTube to see if anyone posted the scene.

The band and backup singers were incredible. The backup singers did a cover of "Angel" that would make Sarah McLachlan proud.

Here's the set list.

When Doves Cry

Nasty Girl

Sign "O" the Times

The Most Beautiful Girl

Alphabet Street

Hot Thing

If I Was Your Girlfriend

Insatiable

Scandalous

Adore

Raspberry Beret Cream

Cool

Let's Work

U Got the Look

Angel

Sweet Thing With Chaka Khan

Controvery/Housequake snippet/Controversy/Love Rollercoaster snippet Play That Funky Music

Let's Go Crazy

Delirious

1999

Little Red Corvette

Purple Rain

Encore 1

She's Always In My Hair intro Kiss

Encore 2

DMSR

Now, some of the songs in the set-list were shorter verses done medley style. It would be next to impossible for him to play everything. Also, we missed the second encore. After "Kiss", the house lights came up, which is usually a signal that the show is over. So, of course, we left. Well, it wasn't over. The arena was about 95% empty and Price came back out with the house lights up and did DSMR! I am so bummed I missed that.

Next time, I won't leave until they start tearing down the stage!

Lucky I'm Sane After All I've Been Through

2011-03-20T18:36:00.003-04:00

Bonus points for the artist and song...no google cheating!

OK, so I've been through a lot lately.

I had the axis of evil: sinus infection + no Embrel + RA flare, which resulted in 12 days of steriods.
I have the post steroid weight gain (Back to the gym, I go)
I've been working some insane hours at work because it is registration time.
My students are driving me to wish I could drink.
With my liver enzyme levels elevated, that's the last thing I need to be doing.
I found out I was "volunteered" into doing a presentation less than a day to prepare. Needless to say, I got it done and it was actually pretty good. Perhaps watching the Blues Brothers helped?
I haven't slept decently in two weeks, despite kicking Husband out for snoring.
The Boy pooped, not once, but twice, on my brand new rug. In his defense, it turns out he had a little doggie virus. But, why my carpet????
My brackets are imploding in the Southwest (Pitt, you suck!)

I am surprised I haven't lost my mind...yet.

On the plus side:

Spring is in full effect in Elsewhere. It was 82 on Saturday.
I have tickets to see the Purple One this week!
Husband has begun digging our veggie garden.
The term is almost over!!!
Husband and I are going on vacation next month.

That's is what is keeping me going. Here's hoping I make it!

And...We're Back

2011-03-13T10:49:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been a rough ride, but I am back and doing much better. I am back on the Enbrel and off the steriods and antibiotic. My energy level is back and I feel great.

During my hiatus, I cut my hair super short, like a Halle Berry cut. I just couldn't handle it with swollen hands. Husband tried to help, but it just made more sense to chop it off. I can style it straight with just a couple of quick zips with the flat iron.

I am a little concerned because my liver enzyme levels are on the high side. Because of all the meds I take, I have bloodwork done every 10 weeks to check those levels. My RA doc thinks that it is becuase of the steriods and the antibiotics. I had a hepatitis test just to be sure, but it's a little disconcerting.

Working is starting to pick up. We are in the home stretch of the term and students are going nuts. They are submitting some of the crappiest work I have ever seen. It's like they don't even want to try. One of my instructors told me that the students said to just give them all "C's" because they just don't care.

I am just counting down the days until the end of the term and my vacation. Husband and I are headed to the Caribbean for a few days in April (GML...we are going to Breezes!). We have not gone on a real vacation since we moved.

The Boy has been a little under the weather. He had three pooping incidents in the house this week. Sadly my brand new rug has been the spot of choice for the Boy. It's hard to get mad at him when he doesn't feel well, but I didn't have the rug for 24 hours before he crapped on it!

Crap at work and crap at home. At least I don't feel like crap.

Seeking Solace By Numbers

2011-03-07T21:35:00.004-05:00

Number of days left on the antibiotic
1
Number of days left on steriods
4
Number of hours sleep I got last night
4
Number of times I had to poke Husband for snoring
3
Number of times I yelled at the Boy for snoring
1
Number of emails returned today
15
Number of times my office phone rang
4
Number of call that went straight to voice mail
3
Number of midterm reports to file
40
Number of cases reviewed for three lectures tomorrow
15
Number of students who finished their Con Law exam
0
Number of students who got an "A"
0
Number of students passing the course
9/14
Number of hypothetical written for Research and Writing exam
8
Number of students I had to talk out of dropping out after just one term
2
Number of whining students in my office
1
Number of weeks left in the term
6

So, I'm Lying Here Just Staring At The Ceiling Tiles..

2011-03-05T09:53:00.002-05:00

Well, I don't have ceiling tiles...but you get the idea.

I am starting to feel better. The steriods have kicked in, which means the pain and swelling are down. I am still a little fatigued, though. I am almost done with the antibiotics; only 3 days left.

And, then the "I've got the RA flare blues" sets in.

What some people may not realize is that there is a huge link between autoimmune diseases and depression. You get depressed because you are in pain and can't do much of anything except stare at the ceiling tiles. You get depressed because you wonder what did you do to trigger this flare? You get depressed because you are constantly in that one-step-forward-two-steps-back mode.

For me, it's all of those and then some. I take antidepressants to help me cope with all of this. I have a great support system who listen without trying to solve anything. And, I know that like everything, this too shall pass.

It just sucks when you are in the moment.

Silence

2011-03-02T20:00:00.002-05:00

It's not intentional. Really, it isn't.

Last week, it began with a cold. By the end of the week, it morphed into a sinus infection. As a result, I had to go on antibiotics. Being on antibiotics means that I cannot take my Embrel shot. Since I can't take my Embrel shot, I have the mother of all RA flares. So, it's 12 days of steriods, plus 10 days of antibiotics. No Embrel until I finish the antibiotics and have no symptoms of sinus infection.

And, I am off work until Monday.

Will be back as soon as my hands can tolerate the typing.

All I Wanna Do

2011-02-22T18:10:00.003-05:00

Today, my students did something that really upset and angered me. I can't really blog about it because I may "out" myself. Needless to say, it was something that did not need to happen. If they had discussed it with me first, I could have helped them find a more productive way to express their point of view. Instead, their display was inadvertently disrespectful to me.

Unfortunately, I lost my cool and lashed out at them in a way that was unprofessional and out of character for me. I have been working on the issue in question for a while, and their display was not helping matters. But, I had no right to lash out the way that I did.

I did apologize to them for my handling of the situation. I told them that while I did not condone what they did, I should not act responded the way that I did. We ended up having a discussion about how what appears to be on the surface is not always the truth. And, that one can only control what goes on in their little corner of the world. Many of the students apologized for their behavior after they realized the impact that it had. And I recognized why they felt the need to do what they did. I just wish they had gone about it a different way that did not put me in a awkward position.

But, I am still frustrated. I am frustrated because it seems that many students and colleauges seemed to be all too concerned with what everyone else is or is not doing. I had one student complain that she thinks it's unfair that one of her instructors makes her and the rest of the class do more work in their course when previous instructors have not required as much work.

Really?

The instructor, with my blessing, is giving the students more challenging work, not as a punishment, but to help them and give them exposure to as many concepts as possible. He gives them ample class time to work on assignments and even works with students outside of class.

Sigh.

I don't understand it. Why are so many people so worried about what everyone else is doing instead of focusing on what they need to do? There is this climate of conspiracy, meaning that somehow many of the students think that there is some ulterior motive for decisions or policies. That despite honest and complete explanations, there is still something sneaky going on or someone is try to "get over" on them. Or worse, that just because they don't hear about the end result, nothing is done to resolve the problem.

Like I, or anyone else, have the time or energy to actively conspire to muck up peoples' lives.

All I wanna do is teach. That's it.

Home Training Or Lack Thereof

2011-02-16T09:31:00.002-05:00

Growing up, manners were very important. My parents always insisted that my brother and I say "Yes, Please and Thank You". We were taught not to stick our nose into grownup conversations. We were taught not yell and scream at people in authority. We may have thought about it. Sometimes we even dared to cross that line, only to met with a look that could freeze hydrogen or felt the sting of punishment after the fact.

In essence, we were taught to be respectful. I like to call it "Home Training".

Sadly, I think many of my students never received "Home Training" or they forgot those lessen or maybe were absent on the day those lessons were taught. In any event, it makes it frustrating for me as an instructor trying to guide my students into the real world. True, there are people in the real world that lack "Home Training"; I've worked with a few. But, that does not give one carte blanche to act like you don't have any good sense.

I have students whose believe that the only way to communicate is to yell, whine or throw a tantrum. Some see any form of structure as "disrespecting" them or treating them like a child. Some are as brazen to believe that they are "entitled" to their degree, so why should they have to do anything other than show up.

I don't get it.

There are days where I sit in my office after an encounter with a student who lacks "Home Training" and I think "What the hell is wrong with you? I mean...DAMN (Nice tribute to Brazen Hussy). I wish I could record students when they act like they have lost their minds and play it back to them. Would they realize how absolutely stupid they sound?

Maybe, but probably not. After all, the first step to recovery is realizing you have a problem.

I don't put up with poor "home training" in my classroom. I am not an ogre, but I will not allow one to disrupt the learning process. I model proper behavior to my students in the hope that they will see the light. Some get it, some don't. I am thinking of having those who don't get it to participate in a "Scared Straight" session with some of my upper level students who do get it. Sometimes, hearing the message from your peers can help a person embrace the light. Or it could crash and burn.

Something has got to give. I refuse to send people out into the world without the proper knowledge and home training.

No way. Not on my watch.

To The Ass-Clown Who Doesn't Like American Women

2011-02-14T22:10:00.003-05:00

Let's get something straight. You cannot leave an anonymous comment on my blog blasting me and my American sisters and then link to your blog which doesn't allow anyone to comment.

Sounds to me like you are a coward. Hence, I deleted your comment.

First of all, I don't know you from a can of paint, so how dare you say such blasphemous, ignorant things on a blog that has nothing to do with you or the crap you are spouting. I'm all for free speech, but damn, dude, use some decorum.

Second, I'm sorry if you've been burned by some American women, but not all of us are like those you demean with such venom. I have never, nor would I ever treat any human being in the way you describe. I am happily married to a wonderful man for almost 20 years. We have a solid, strong relationship built on mutual respect and trust. We are equals and treat each other as such. Many of my readers are in similar relationships and would be absolutely offended by your generalizations. Not to mention my single readers who have searched for a great guy to share their lives, only to be burned by a jerk, maybe an American male. But, you don't see any of them blasting hatred of American men.

If anything, I feel sorry for you because you seem to have this idea of that ethnicity is what determines whether someone is a good person. Sadly, being a bitch or an ass is equal opportunity that spans all racial, ethnic and gender lines. No one is immune.

But, if you want to boycott American women, that's your prerogative. It's a free country. That just means that there is one less ass-clown for American women to deal with. I just feel sorry for all those other women from different countries and ethnic backgrounds who are graced with your arrogance.

Might I suggest that perhaps you should look into what is with YOU before you throw stones....

And stay the hell of my blog!

Hat Trick

2011-02-13T15:06:00.003-05:00

Remember my Dress Dilemma? Well, they arrived the other day and I finally had a chance to try on all three. And...

They all fit and look FABULOUS!!!!

Of course, I am keeping all three. The prices were great, so why not?

I am also pleased because either I am not getting fatter or I picked the right cut. I am guessing it's both! Husband loved all three and said he loves my curves. (Love that guy!)

Up next, a shoes and accessories hunt.

Whew!!!!

2011-02-13T09:15:00.003-05:00

It's been a week since I last posted...

OK. I was a little depressed after my Boys in Black and Gold let me down on Super Bowl Sunday. I don't think they realized that they actually had to play that day. Needless to say, I spend the following two days with laryngitis as a result of screaming at the TV.

Then, things at work were beyond the usual craziness. We had a an axis of insanity that led to three students being dismissed and one faculty member being fired. Thankfully, none of the students or the faculty member were in my program. But, the stress level was through the roof.

And finally, I think my students are falling into lazy mode. They had a take home essay exam which many of them just phoned in their answers. They did not give it much thought. Another student tried to hide her plagiarism by layering bits and pieces within the paper.

Needless to say, I was at my wits end by the end of the week. I was so happy that yesterday was Salon Day. I went to my hair salon for color and cut. I spent two hours enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of my salon, including the shampooing/scalp and neck massage, reading fashion magazines while my color backed and my treat at Starbucks afterward, a Chai latte and red velvet cupcake.

Ahhh...

Do I have to go back to work on Monday?

On This Sunday

2011-02-06T09:30:00.002-05:00

For as long as I can remember, football has always been a part of my life. My dad coached high school football and my brother played the game from elementary school until an injury playing for his college team ended his playing days.

On any given Sunday during the season, the TV would be on and you could hear my dad yelling at the images on the screen. Once, he got so mad a bad call, he put his fist through a coffee table! I learned the ins and outs of the game from my dad. Thanks to him, I know the game as well as, or even better than, some men. Since we only had one TV, it was either learn the game or suffer for 20 weeks. Ironically, my dad's favortie team was not the same as mine. He had a love for young team from Tampa, who did not have the greatest record during the 70's and 80's. But during the 80's, they did have something that no other team had. A black quarterback.

I grew up an hour from the home of the Boys in Black and Gold. I can remember watching the Black and Gold play Super Bowls of the 1970's. It was a sense of pride to say that your were from the area that was known for having four Super Bowl titles. During that time, it was needed. The area was a dying rust belt. There wasn't much to cheer about.

As I grew older, I continued to embrace the sport that my father loved, much to the surprise of some and the dismay of others. Guys found my love and knowledge of the sport cool. I've turned down many invites to play on fantasy leagues (Honestly, I don't have the time or desire to do it). Some of my female friends think I am crazy. Once, I was at a get together with some girl friends and they had to drag me away from the TV because I was watching the team from Lake Effect Snow Central.

At home, I am the vocal one in the house. I yell, scream, cuss and occasionally throw things (pillows, usually). Husband is more mellow. They Boy has adjusted to his crazy Mommy. He no longer hides in the other room, thinking that he is in trouble. We don't have people over for games when the Boys in Black and Gold play. I don't want people to see my insane side.

Today, I will be ready. I will have my jersey on. I will have my voice ready to cheers, yell and cuss. Things may be thrown. Husband may need to give me a sedative or possibly use a portable defibrillator.

I come by it honestly.

Dad would be proud.

So Very Done

2011-02-04T16:03:00.002-05:00

Lately, I've been very frustrated with some of my colleauges.

Many of the faculty and administrators have been asking for changes in certain policies regarding students. Some people were extremely vocal that change needed to occur. As a result, certain polices were changed.

Well, now these same people complain that they either don't want to enforce the policies or complain about having to enforce the policies. These people were part of making the changes.

And, they want to add so many exceptions to rules that there is no point in have them in the first place. And these exceptions do not make sense and are counter to what they wanted to change in the first place.

This just makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs "Are you f-ing kidding me?"

It's gotten so bad that I have to decline to comment or provide my opinion because I am afraid I might say something snarky, or worse, say something that could possibly get me fired (Those of you who know me IRL know that I can be brutally frank when I believe people are being stupid). I've pretty much thrown my hands up in the air and decided to let these people f#@! things up. I am just going to worry about my corner of the world.

I am so done.

I have to keep remembering that you can't fix stupid.

Double Trouble

2011-02-01T08:52:00.003-05:00

I am not talking about Steve Ray Vaughn's band.

These are the two students in my program who are also the "Mean Girls". They are taking my legal research and writing class this term. They have not taken a class with me before.

And they are going to learn that unlike some other instructors at my college. I will not put up with their crap.

For example, I gave the students an assignment in which they had to read a case and answer a series of questions. The questions are designed to help them recognize the different parts of a legal brief. My students are required to type their responses and submit their assignments electronically.

Double Trouble #1 typed her responses using one or two word answers. It was clear that she did this at the last minute. The responses are such that one would have to write anything from few sentences to a short paragraph. (Those of you who know how to write a legal brief, don't worry, I will be teaching them to shorten their responses).

That is not acceptable.

Double Trouble #2 scanned the paper with the questions and typed her responses on the assignment sheet. She did not make any distinction in font or type.

Really? Wouldn't it have been easier to just re-type the questions and then type the responses on a separate sheet of paper?

My first thought was "WTF, you can't be that lazy/stupid?" My second thought was"Do you really think I am going to accept this?" My third thought was "Crap, am I going to have to write on assignments that you must provide detailed answers and type your responses on a separate sheet of paper?

Is this what the world has come to?

Needless to say, Double Trouble will have to re-do the assignment. And they will only have 24 hours to do it.

Please don't tell me that maybe Double Trouble did not understand or that they are new to college. They are in their fourth term at College. They are bright. They are just trying to be slick. I've seen this before, but never this bad.

They just don't realize that I am about to take them to school.

Dress Decision

2011-01-30T17:32:00.002-05:00

Which dress or dresses do you like? I can't decide!

Dress #1. Great price and very mod...which I love.

Dress #2. I love purple.

Dress #3. Funky...and I love black and white. Very Chanel.

OK...give me your honest opinion. :)

Why am I blogging at 5 a.m.?

2011-01-30T04:51:00.003-05:00

I can't shake this whole thing about the lesson plans.

I don't want to sound like some academic elitist or something, but it seems to me that if we want students to achieve learning objectives and outcomes, doesn't it make sense that fit with where we want the students to be according to Bloom's Taxonomy? I mean, one of the goals of high education, be it university, LAC, community college or tech college is to move students past the lower levels of Bloom.

Isn't it? At least I thought it was.

This decisions stems from people who are not in the classroom on a daily basis. How do I know that they won't pick a learning outcome that my students have not reached? Can they actually find one that is generic enough and create a critical thinking assignment that goes beyond regurgitating basic information?

What's worse is that I have another thing thrown in my direction that I have to deal with, along with the 100 other things that need to be done.

But, I digress...

Sometimes I wonder if I am just becoming too tired or too jaded for academia. Or at least the vision of academia where I work.

Substitute

2011-01-29T22:05:00.003-05:00

One of the things I don't like about Elsewhere College is that I cannot cancel a class if I am sick or can't be at work for whatever reason. I have to get another faculty member to cover the class. In the past, this has been rather problematic, as there are not too many people "qualified" to teach what I teach. I make sure that any assignment is something that can be easily administered by someone without a law degree.

Last term, I reviewed all the emergency plans for all the courses in the program. I changed the plans so that the substitute can give assignments that would keep the students on track, meet learning outcomes and not be considered "busy work".

Well, the "powers that be" have decided that my emergency plans, along with several others, are not suitable. They claim that because textbook updates, it would be difficult for the substitute to ensure that the information in the plan matched the new text.

Um..ok...that just means that I have to make sure that the plans are updated on a regular basis, right?

Nope.

They also said that I could not include working on an assigned research project because not every instructor gives the same project.

Huh? So, see my response to the last one.

They said that the assignment should be something that enhances critical thinking skills and learning outcomes for the course.

OK, I'm listening...

Then, it was suggested that a crossword puzzle could be a form of critical thinking.

WTF?

There is no way in hell that I would EVER give a crossword puzzle as a critical thinking assignment.

Seriously, that makes no sense to me. It's offensive to me, particularly because I've taught critical thinking for many years, and never, and I mean NEVER have I used a crossword puzzle as a means to promote critical thinking to a college class.

Can you imagine what students would say?

So, I am working on, revamping the what was already revamped emergency plan. I wonder if I should come up with a lesson plan to teach some of the people I work with what critical thinking is.

'Cause I don't think they have a clue.

Bliss

2011-01-29T16:40:00.002-05:00

I can safely say that I am over my flare and my cold. So, to celebrate my health, I decided to use the spa gift certificate that Husband gave me for my birthday.

The spa is just up the road from my house. I had been there before and the treatments are fantastic. I got a hydrating, paraffin facial, hand and foot treatment. For an hour, my face, hands and feet were scrubbed, massaged, and wrapped in warm paraffin. My skin feels like butter. I was so relaxed that I almost fell asleep on the table!

As I was on the table, I began to ask myself "Why don't I do these things more often?" I love how I feel during and after facial, a mani or a pedi. I feel relaxed, rejuvenated and beautiful. I am in a better mood, something I know Husband, the Boy and others definitely appreciate.

I am great about pedis in the warmer weather, but let it slide as soon as sandal season ends. The rest of the year, my feet look like crap. My fingernails are short, mainly for typing and playing the piano. But, that's no excuse for them to look ratty. Somehow, I keep up with facials as the seasons change.

While on the table, I made a decision that I would schedule something every month. I calculated how much it would cost, out of my "slush fund", making note of those time when I would get more expensive treatments, like facials and other treatments.

I've had this conversation before, but never really followed through with it. It was always, "Yeah, I'll do it." But, I never did. This time, I followed through with my plan. After I settled the bill with my gift certificate, the receptionist told me that I have some money left over. So, I scheduled a mani and a pedi for next month. I immediately put the appointment in my phone. It was a done deal.

I can't wait until next month.

Into the Groove

2011-01-26T09:01:00.003-05:00

I finished the 12 day taper. It seemed to help, although I have a new battle on my hands...a cold. Seriously, this is really unfair, going from RA flare to a cold. It's like moving from one quadrant of hell to another.

Work-wise, it's week two of the term and I am starting to get into the groove. My Survey students are very eager, as always. They leave class every day amazed about what they have learned. Constitutional Law is going well. They will watch a rebroadcast of the State of the Union address this week. My night R & W class went well last night, mainly because the two troublemakers (who I will refer to as Double Trouble) were absent. It will be interesting to see how things go in this course. I warned the students that R & W is not the class where you want to have frequent absences.

Now...if I could just get rid of this cold!

First Day

2011-01-19T20:28:00.003-05:00

Today was the first day of the new term. I am really tired. Not RA tired, but "It the first day of the term" tired. The steriods are helping, which is a good thing because I probably would not be doing much of anything right now.

This term, I arranged my schedule so that I have two teaching days and three administrative days. This allows me to focus on those areas separately. I have a very large project that will require a great amount of time and effort, so I am glad I am able to have a schedule like this.

Today, My admin duties mainly consisted of dealing with academic issues with students and making sure my faculty were set for their first day. Lots of running around, solving problems and the occasional kicking one or two students in the ass.

Tomorrow, I will be teaching three classes. I am teaching Constitutional Law, which I am very excited to do. It is one of my favorite areas of the law. Given the issues of the past couple of weeks, there is a ton of information to discuss. I am also teaching Legal Research and Writing, another favorite.

But, tomorrow will be another long day...12 hours. I need to be at work a little early to make sure my faculty who teach early classes have everything they need. Plus, they are new. I will not just let a new faculty member walk into their first class alone. I like to introduce them to the students and make sure everything is good before I let them go. My new hire told me today that he really appreciate having me make the introductions. It made the transition more comfortable.

Well, I think it's time for a long relaxing bath and then early to bed.

On The Mend

2011-01-17T09:52:00.002-05:00

I am on Day 3 of a 12 day steroid taper, which really means that I am on Day 1 of taking 5 pills. I think they are working, as I don't feel as achy and tired today.

I'm not doing marathons yet. It takes a little while before I start feeling like my old self. The steroids are merely a booster to help me get over this current flare hurdle and get through the first week of classes.

But, it's nice to be on the mend.

Back To Basics

2011-01-16T20:41:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, I love fashion and I love to shop. Especially, if I can get a great deal.

This is best shopping time of the year. This is when I stock up on basics. Basics are those standard pieces that no matter what, they work with everything. They never go out of style. Plus, everything is pretty inexpensive. Why? Stores need to get rid of excess inventory to make room for spring and summer.

Don't believe me? Watch this...I'll wait.

So, I started my shopping on line. I found pants, this sweater and this turtleneck in dark crimson from Ann Taylor.

Did I mention that I got an additional 40% off each item?

Today, I went to Kohl's to stock up on new bras and underwear. Those are basics you can't miss, particulary when there's a BOGO!

I am continuing my hunt for basics this week. Stay tuned.

Make It Go Away

2011-01-14T14:43:00.003-05:00

Still not much relief from the flare. I called my RA doc and she agreed that a six day steroid taper is needed. Next week is orientation and the beginning of the new term, and I can't afford to be like this.

I am wondering if the Embrel is working. I started in November, which means I've only been on the stuff for two months (still taking the methotrexate, plaquenil and voltaren). I won't know for another month or so if I need to try something else. The biologics (Embrel) and methotrexate seem to be the best cocktail right now for most folks with RA. The problem is that not all biologics are created equal.

All of this has made me a little depressed. I am wondering if it is me that is the problem and not the meds. Was it going back to the gym? Was it the glass of wine I had on my birthday? How could I have a flare now, when I did so well last month when I should have flared? Am I too fat? Should I not be working? What did I do?

I know it's sounds silly to blame myself. RA, like other autoimmune diseases does whatever the hell it wants, most of the time without warning or reason. And the drugs can work for a while and then stop. And, there's no cure.

If only I could make some sense of this.

The Fix

2011-01-13T14:20:00.004-05:00

I stayed home today because of an RA flare. My knees, particulary the right one, were quite swollen this morning. That can make walking a little difficult. They are still tender. My wrists, hands and fingers were a little swollen, but they are doing a little better now. I am rather tired as well.

I figured that staying home was best since classes don't start until next Wednesday and I would just be doing office work. I would rather take the time off now, than to have to do it when classes start and things are hectic. I have resisted the temptation to do work today. I really need a break from it right now. I only checked my email once this morning and once after lunch.

Methinks it is the weather that brought this on. It has been unusually cold in Elsewhere. This time of year during the daytime, it usually stays in the 50's. At night, it maybe gets to freezing. December was one of the coldest on record and January is almost as bad with temperatures in the 30's during the day and upper teens/low 20's at night. (That would be wishful thinking in Lake Effect Snow Central).

I assume that the drugs are working since I am not so bad that I need a steroid dose pack But, I am not sure. At my last appointment, which was about a week ago, my RA doc said that we are still in the "wait and see" stage with the Embrel. I guess it takes 12 weeks before we can say "remission" or move on to the next drug cocktail.

That's the hard part about RA, finding the right "fix".

Why Do They Do That?

2011-01-12T20:37:00.004-05:00

My mom and I were having a conversation this evening:

Mom: Did you get the card from Nephew?

Me: He sent me a separate card?

Mom: No, it was an envelope with his school picture in it. There was a note.

Me: I did get the envelope with the photo, but I did not see a card or a note.

Mom: Well, it was in there.

Me: Honestly, Mom, I didn't find a card or a note.

Mom: Well, I'm telling you that it's there. He worked so hard on putting that envelope together. He wrote such a nice note. How could you have just thrown it out? (Note: my nephew is 8 years old and allegedly the note said "Love you, Nephew".

Me: Mom, I didn't just throw it out. I really didn't find anything other than the pictures.

Mom: Well, it was there. Now his little heart is broken becuase you threw out his note.

Crap.

I really didn't see a note. The pictures were between two pieces of cardboard, placed in a envelope that had a very tight fit. When I opened the envelope, the pictures slid through the cardboard. So, if there was a note, it could have been stuck to the cardboard and I wouldn't have noticed.

But, my mom could not stop going on and on about this. OK, I get it, the little guy put it together. But, I would never do anything intentionally to hurt him.

My mom just has this way of making you feel like crap for the most benign of offenses. If there is an opportunity to throw you under the bus for something, she'll do it. And, she has this way of talking to you that you mentally morph into the 10 year old version of yourself. You feel like no matter what you say, you are in the doghouse.

Why, or should I say, how are they able to do this when you are in your 40's? And, why can't I just brush it off. I mean, if someone else had said it, I would not give it much thought because I know I didn't do anything intentionally wrong. I feel bad about it, but it was an honest mistake.

So, why do I feel like I committed a moral sin?

Happy Brithday to...

2011-01-11T08:25:00.000-05:00

ME!!!!!!!!

New Year Meme

2011-01-10T21:26:00.003-05:00

Seen at Seeking Academia

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Become an administrator in addition to being faculty

2. Did you keep your 2010 resolutions, and will you make more this year?
I don’t make any.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
RA in remission, lose some weight, less stress at work.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting the position I should have had in the first place!

8. What was your biggest failure?
I don't think I had much failure in 2010.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Who writes these things? Um, I am chronically ill. Well, there was the sprained ankle.

10. What was the best thing you bought?
My new house

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Husband for being such a trooper in giving my weekly injections.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The two students who thought they could get away with turning in the same paper. I was appalled but not depressed.

13. Where did most of your money go?
Buying and decorating the house.

14. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, fatter and richer. (I got a raise and a bonus!)

15. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Taking time for myself.

16. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Working long hours..

17. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Been in love since July 1987.

18. What was the best new book you read?
The Help . I can't eat chocolate pie without wondering...

19. What was your favorite film of the year?
Nothing really stood out.

20. What kept you sane?
Husband and the Boy

21. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Things happen for a reason. Your time will come. Karma is a bitch.

So Far, So Good

2011-01-09T10:55:00.003-05:00

The first week back to work went very well. Of course, it helped that there were no students on campus! Needless to say, I did accomplish a great deal. My syllabi are ready. I have one tracking calendar to complete; I am holding off because there are some things I am working on to add to the course. I am teaching Constitutional Law this term which I am very excited to teach. Given everything that's going on, I will not be at a loss to material to discuss.

My new hire starts on Tuesday. I am so excited to bring him on board. I plan to have a department meeting this week because there are some things that need to be addressed. Overall, our department received top honors for retention and completion rates (WOOOT!). But, there are some issues with some of my instructors not completing some administrative tasks. The People in the Windowless Offices are cracking down, so I have to be the bad guy and let people know that if there is not sufficient follow-through, I have to write up the offender. I will give that person a verbal warning first, before the write-up. But, I really don't want it to go that far.

I am so excited that my proposal for the regional conference in my field was accepted!!! Now, I just need to take all the notes that I have complied over two years into something coherent. I'm not worried. I plan to set aside some time each week to work on it, so that I won't be stressing out come March.

Husband and I are back at the gym. I took a few days off after the Zumba class to allow my body to recover. Last night, we went to the gym and I hit the recumbent bike for 27 minutes, followed by 10 minutes of light upper body weights. My RA Doc suggested that I work on strengthening my quads to help with my knee joints. She also said I could do light weights. I guess one gets better results with more reps on lighter weights. At any rate, being back at the gym has helped greatly with my mood and energy level.

Husband and I also re-established our "date night". A while back, "date night" consisted of working out at the gym, followed by dinner. This was our time to just relax, spend some time as a couple and reward ourselves for our hard work at the gym. It also gives us something to look forward to at the end of the week. It also gives us a chance to check out some of the local places in and around Elsewhere. Last night, we ate at a crab-house. Funny though, neither of us ordered crab! Still, the food was awesome.

And, the Boy? Well he is hoping that snow will show up again this week in Elsewhere so that he can get his "Snow Dog" on.

Let's Dance...Maybe Not

2011-01-04T20:06:00.003-05:00

I decided to try Zumba. I have heard some many great things about it and a few of you have had great results with it. So, in my quest to try things that I wanted to try but didn't have the time, I went to a Zumba class at my gym.

First, the class was huge. Of course, this is the time of year where the gym is packed with people whose New Year's resolution is to lose weight. I found a spot near the front of the class, but off to the side, so I could see the instructor.

The instructor shouted out instructions over a headset microphone, which was kind of hard to hear. I was able to understand Rule #1 which was "Keep moving and have fun". Sounds easy enough.

The music started and so did I. Despite having studied dance in my younger days, it took me a little while to catch on. About 15 minutes into class, I was moving pretty well. Then, the joints decided that they were not happy with the repetitive jumping and bouncing. My knees, hips and elbows started to ache. I modified my movements to accommodate my limited ability.

I gave in after 30 minutes.

I guess Zumba isn't meant for people with RA.

I am not disappointed. I am proud that I was able to make it 30 minutes. I have a great time. Perhaps when I reach full remission, I can try it again. But, I think I will stick to my usual routine of elliptical, bike, tredmill or water aerobics.

Most of all, I am proud that I tried.